Nannyknee, you posted. My problem is she tells us too much and I get defensive for her, she needs to keep things to herself.
Your DD tells you her side of the story, you side with your DD and tell her your opinion and she then tells your SIL what you have said. It is no wonder he does not want to speak to you.
You are not alone, it appears many posters would agree only with their DC and have no empathy at all for their SIL or DIL. It is no wonder many people don't like spending time with their MILs.
Mental health worry in grandchild