I've turned into a scary cat

Well, I've just had to fill two forms in online which made me very nervous. I took ages checking and double checking before I pressed 'submit'.

It's the language they use on the form it's so ambiguous. That makes me feel stupid. I can ask some of my colleagues but I so hate bothering people and worry they'll think I'm thick. Some of you are right my DiL visited at the weekend following the end of her treatment. She looks so tired and her skin looks burnt and sore. She didn't complain at all. She's been through so much. This is her second round of treatment in less than a year, she's had a mastectomy she's has to take so many drugs. My admiration knows no bounds but I find it harrowing seeing her suffering so much. So that's obviously is having a bearing on my anxiety. It makes me feel very whimpish. If she can cope then what excuse have I got. I'll have pulled myself together by tomorrow. I've started the form and will take it in tomorrow but it's finding the time in a busy schedule to ask for help. It's been going on for weeks. I just want it done. Thanks for your support I did follow some of the suggestions. I realise I've got the title of the thread wrong and that's what I mean there are times when I can't string two words together or in this case one.

Never be at all concerned if you get words or phrases muddled up in life.
There are always more than enough people to back you up and support you

I hope the suggestions help morethan.

I'm sure you will feel more up beat when the darn form is in the post.

I can visualise you doing a little heel click & a skip just after you drop it in the post box

Can I ask, do you think you may be suffering from depression? I only ask because I dealt with paperwork all my working life but, when my marriage broke down I just couldn't face dealing with my own letters etc. At one point I put them in a bag, in the bottom of a wardrobe I didn't use, and just shut the door. It made me ill just thinking about them lying in there, unopened.

...have become a scaredy cat too!! Have developed a real fear of taxis!!!!! And it makes life difficult...am in Dubai helping daughter with new baby..she cant drive till well after C section..hubby at work..only way around is to take a taxi....been getting worse this fear over last couple of years? Age? I dont know....

Get help with the form, morethan. Maybe even legal help.

Get counseling for your general anxiety. You don't have to be such a "scaredy cat." There is help out there.

So sorry about ddil. Hoping her health improves.

morethan, it seems to me the last thing you are is a scaredy cat. With so much pressure it's not surprising you are overwhelmed. Only so much of you to go around. You've worked out your way forward so you will get there and I agree with others, the lift of pressure once it is done will be wonderful. Some virtual for you and maybe a real life treat for yourself for facing it and getting started?

I am like this too and the more DH pushes me to get it done the worse I get. I just have to find a day when I won't be interrupted and grit my teeth. I do always find that once I get started it is better than I thought. One tip though, answer each question as you go, don't leave one to go back to because it means you will have to read the whole darn thing at some point! Good luck

Glad it isn't just me then. I am scared of most things now, rarely get beyond the front door, can't cope with paper work, hate modern life, not that keen on life in general.

I do bits of things and then go back to them...........it does at least get them done but the quality isn't what it used to be.

Morethan2 Yes! I was thinking of copying the form before you start. Get two or more copies if you can and do it in pencil first. I am very bad at filling in forms correctly.

I know what you mean though. When not doing these things regularly any more I think we can be unnecessarily worried.
Gather everything together first.

I have had this feeling with a number of things recently. Bite the bullet and get it done and I think you will feel better.

I, too, am more nervous about things now I am older. I keep thinking I will die in poverty even though I probably won't as I am prudent and on top of most things.

I don't like admin much, nor do I like the way my husband drives on motorways (I used not to mind. He's never had an accident.). I hate phoning someone more than ever and I am not very good at days out or holidays.

I do battle with all these fears though as I do not want to end up as a reclusive nervous wreck.

You have sa lot going on and probably can't concentrate as well as you could good idea to copy form , try and get someone to help you hope you manage to get it done ?

Oh I feel for you. I've had occasions when so much was coming at me from all directions that I couldn't make simple decisions
and put things off all the time.
Age UK used to be good at helping with forms in situations like yours - I hope they still do.
I think you need some space - a mental rest - and I hope you manage to achieve it. Very best wishes - remember - you are not alone.

This may explain why my mother kept putting off phoning her sister, whose birthday it was last week. Every night I phoned early so that she had time to call her after she'd spoken to me. To answer the question in the OP, I think this is the way we all go. First it's filling in forms, then it's phoning the Council, next it's people you know, and finally it's phoning members of your own family.

Sorry, this is not very helpful, but we should perhaps take on board all the sensible advice that people have posted on the thread: E.g. Don't be afraid to get help, take it in small doses.

I would add: It's the starting that is the biggest hurdle. Start well in advance in case it takes longer than you thought it would, then take a deep breath and take the bull by the horns; when you've finished, check and double-check, print it out or take a copy and go!

For the form filling thing - perhaps Age Concern or Citizen's Advice might have someone who is trained in helping with form filling? they generally are very kind. [DH is one of them in our area!]
Good luck and I sympathise - I am terrified of forms.

If you are really worried do as others have suggested & get help. I have to apply for my Driving Licence every year & I always keep copies although form changes every time it does help.

I keep copies of all relevant correspondences in files, I have an expanding folder for current year correspondence for ease & rest is in metal filing boxes.

I find as I'm getting older there are more forms to complete to claim benefits & help with utility bills, as yet I'm able to cope but if I find I can't I'm hoping DD will help as she is very good.

I also find that putting off completing forms is pointless, copy or fill in in pencil, get all relevant paperwork out ready, nice or , bit of peace & quiet & go for it.

Is it possible that you are suffering from anxiety and depression morethantwo?
I am quite a capable person but was brought low by this condition many years ago and exhibited the same feelings you are having.
I couldn't understand it because I was in a happy marriage after a previous very abusive one and had no obvious triggers. I think some demons from the past caught up with me.
I got through it with the support of my family and friends and medication from my doctor.
If I am way off course here I apologise but just wanted to raise it as a possibility.

Have you tried contacting the pension provider to explain your problems ? I often have to phone DH's and there is always someone to help with a query. I also have to do battle (well, it seems like that !) with the UK tax office at times. Good idea as suggested here, is to collect together all the info you need, take two copies of the form . fill one in and if you can, send it by e mail to the pension provider and tell them why you are doing so, and ask if someone can kindly check it for you so you can submit the actual form and know it will be accepted Most government departmets, annuity companies or private pension providers will either have a help line or an internet site where you may be able to see the form and the exact details of how to fill it in !

Above all, don't let it get you down ..mistakes can be corrected and taking it slowly and logically will make it easier for you and I bet you end up wondering why you were so worried 1 Do you have someone at work (if you are still at work_ who could help ? Maybe HR Dept or pensions advisor > or Age Concern or the CAB ? please do not get yourself into a situation where you worry and make yourself ill ,,,,,get some advice ! Best of luck !

Who actually sent you the form to fill in? I remember, before I retired, HR sent me a bundle of forms and information. I went back to them and asked for clarification. They were pretty helpful, suggested where I could find what I needed and what was irrelevant. The DWP were incredibly helpful too, once I spoke to a real person on the phone. Also, a friend is an adviser with the CAB, a lot of her customers come in with similar needs. There is a lot of help out there - give yourself a break and use it. Make sure you keep good notes as you get answers, don't be afraid to ask people to repeat things so you can write them down. All the 'stuff' that goes on when you retire is stressful enough without family worries too. Be good to yourself and let professionals help you. I hope all goes well for you and your family.

Post menopause lots of us get nervous where once we would have been confident. Great suggestions above
When you have filled it all out successfully and u WILL give yourself a little treat
Good luck.

About 7 years ago I was overdue with three years tax returns (I had been travelling) and was being charged for tax I didn't owe (based on an estimate) plus interest. I couldn't face dealing with it - if there had been a local office I would have gone into it, but filling in forms and such defeated me - even though I had, and still do part time, work as an accountant! I felt just like OP, mind in a fog, physically sick etc. I couldn't even open the IR letters that came through the letterbox. Then I received a lump sum of £3,000 from a pension scheme I had contributed to and used £2,000 to clear the supposed debt with the Inland Revenue. It was like a weight off my mind at the time, even though to me it was a lot of money. (I could have done with a new car). Today, living on a basic state pension plus what, at 70, I earn on my little part time job, I wish I could get that money back! I now realise that I was suffering from nervous exhaustion and/or depression at the time.
I recommend that you find a tax expert to help you unless there is a family member or close friend who you are happy to share your personal details with. It will be such a relief for you to get it done.

I remember my mum saying as she got older "I'm losing my courage." Had little clue as to what she meant at the time but now I know exactly how she felt.

I think it was mentioned in another post that you could photocopy the forms and fill them out ready to transfer to the original.

DH ,no wimp, took three days to fill in on line Chinese visa forms. It cost a silly amount of money and we were in that godforsaken( Kunming )county's airport for not much more than 24 hours. The air was blue for there days. I think the elephant slices is a good idea.

Anything visa related is awful. It doesnt seem to matter much which country. Not that I know them all!