Grandchildren named after SIL side

My DC were named after my great-great-grandparents without me realising it
I only found out years later when I researched our family history.

DD was nut SIL not brought up in tradition and wants to do things literally. We named our kids with only middle names and chose our own first names

Trueblue. A New York friend was called after two recently deceased grandparents - Isadore and Bella. She loved her name, Isabel, but also said it was the most creative thing her DPs had ever done!

trueblue22 is it not the Jewish tradition to use the first letter of a deçeased relative's name to create a new name for a child whilst still honouring the deceased relative's memory?
If that is correct, I can understand your DH feeling his family has been left out of the naming ritual. However, he will just have to accept this.

Were DD and SiL not aware of the Jewish tradition?

Still good grief!!

I don't mind what my grandchildren are called. I want them to be healthy and happy.
I don't like them or their names being used to cause upset. (There is more to this and this is only one example here)

A rose by any other name is still a rose
A grandchild by any name is still your grandchild!

There will be a lot of people who would love a grandchild no matter what their given name.

mcem - It is not whether the child has my names or not that I feel upset about. These two names appear so often in all sides of my ancestors it would be hard to know who is called after whom. I do not know much of the DH family or the ancestral names, but I do know that there is a lady of one of the names, the second Christian name.
My own preference is that a child should have it's own name.

What hurt was that my D?D (who has been cutting many times) said that although the child has the exact same Christian names as you, neither of them is her being called after me.

Having had this name for a great number of years I can state that it is a lot of name to put on all the official forms.

The same D?D has other children. One is a derivative of one of my names but that is after someone else and that was that person's choice. Parents only should chose names.

Another of that D?D is called after another deceased relative. If she had actually listened to that person while alive she would have known that the person hated their name.

This is why I think "calling a child after" a person alive or dead is such a minefield.

No-one from my family had any wish to have a child called after them.

I do hope this clears up the point for you Mcem. In short it was the nasty comment and not who is called after whom which caused the problem.

I understand perfectly that it's the parents' choice. We are all Jewish and it's a Jewish tradition that children are named after deceased relatives. My SIL is taking this literally and wants first names used rather than middle names, which is usually the case.

It's quite a 'big thing' in the Jewish tradition and naming shows respect for that family.

I'm not too bothered as my mother is mentioned.

trueblue22 your DH had his chance to use his family names when you had your own child(ren). It is now their turn. Maybe they just chose names they liked for their children........ just like you presumably did.

I would think that many/most parents nowadays don't think to include "family" names at all trueblue judging by some of the more unusual names around.
Your DD & SiL have made their choices; mumofmadboys may be right. This should just be a temporary, minor (private) irritation - and you could always make up pet names for both GC!
(Incidentally, in our family, we now have 5 generations where the boys have their father's first name as a second name).

SPF she has your names but one is shared by the deceased GM and someone in her husband's family and you're hurt
Have I got that right? Surely I've misunderstood?
If I have interpreted it correctly then
get a grip ! If I'm wrong (and I hope I am) I apologise!!

Yes, you are over-reacting. Many babies carry forenames totally unassociated with either family. Enjoy your grandchildren whatever their names!

A friend comes from a family where every girl is called Mary then the name by which they will be known e.g. Mary Elizabeth and the boys are all called Joseph followed by the name they'll be known by e.g. Joseph George.

It is the parents' choice.
End of.

When I had my children I chose names which were unknown in the family to avoid trying to keep everyone happy.
I have several grandchildren now. One of them has her full official name the same as mine in the correct order too.
I was told by my D???D that one of these names was after her deceased grandmother and the other after a live person on her DH side.
I thought it was hurtful to say that to me but the poor child has one of the longest names I have ever seen.

If it's a tradition in your SIL's family then so be it. I doubt they thought they were disrespecting you or your DH.

Whatever happened to magnanimity?

Yes, you are over-reacting and yes, it is petty. Good grief!

Could it be that D and SIL preferred the names of his relatives?