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Does anyone find this odd/creepy?

(43 Posts)
Lindill49 Sun 05-Feb-17 11:50:25

A friend of ours lost his wife (mid 60s) just before Christmas. They had cruises booked and it turns out rather than cancel he's taking his estranged daughter with him in April in an inside cabin and she's leaving hubby to look after the kids for a fortnight. And he's also going in June- don't know who with yet. I'm afraid it makes my skin crawl. AIBU?

Iam64 Sun 05-Feb-17 15:21:48

I hope the holiday is helpful to their relationship and aid the grieving process.
I can't imagine why the OP describes herself as a friend of this man, yet goes on to be so judgemental.

judypark Sun 05-Feb-17 16:02:36

Lindill49, what I do find creepy is your concern with this friend and the relationship with his daughter. Surely this is their business. I would like to know why you are so concerned?

Christinefrance Sun 05-Feb-17 16:26:25

Lindill49 think it probably says more about you than your friend. Hope he enjoys the time with his daughter and comes back to a more caring friend.

Penstemmon Sun 05-Feb-17 16:33:07

Lindill49 in what sense do you find it creepy?

A recently widowed father is taking his daughter away on a holiday he was to have shared with her mother/his wife.

His SiL is looking after the DGCs

That the estrangement is healing

That he has not told you who he is taking in June

Sometimes others' grieving/mourning takes a different path than the one we think we would folllow but that does not make it wrong.

What really goes on in a man/woman relationship is often only known to the couple. I feel it is wrong for outsiders to make assumptions/judgements about others feelings/emotions.

confused

Rinouchka Sun 05-Feb-17 17:25:42

Not creepy at all and totally no one's business but that of the family concerned. Are you making allusions of incest?
If the daughter is estranged, perhaps a father-daughter shared private time is their way of grieving and rebuilding connections.
Sad that anyone should find this çreepy.

Riverwalk Sun 05-Feb-17 17:31:03

in an inside cabin

So a bit of a cheapskate? grin

TriciaF Sun 05-Feb-17 17:51:20

For Goodness Sake - leave them alone!
None of your business.

Jalima Sun 05-Feb-17 17:57:33

Not everyone can afford a suite and you don't spend much time in a cabin except to sleep and shower.

Mind you, I do like to have a porthole on a ship!

thatbags Sun 05-Feb-17 18:02:48

Perhaps the estrangement was between the mother and daughter and now the mother has died the father will not feel disloyal to his wife by trying to build bridges with his daughter. The fact that she has accepted the invitation would seem to suggest something like that.

But, as nearly everyone else has said, it isn't any of your business, lindill. Aren't you being a bit of a nosey parker?

BlueBelle Sun 05-Feb-17 18:20:14

Blimey not your business is it ? they are flesh and blood and adults poor man and poor daughter if they can have a bit of solace on a break together to heal themselves and their relationship why not ? and why the dreadful shock at the son in law staying to look after the children what is the problem lindhill?

Jalima Sun 05-Feb-17 18:21:26

I wondered that too re mother and daughter.
He may have found another lady to take with him by June as my friend's husband did.

M0nica Sun 05-Feb-17 22:20:44

A friend of mine was hardly home the year after her DH died. All her friends invited her to stay for a few days (including us). The last year of her very DH's life had been gruelling and we all wanted to offer her a break, recovery time and some solace.

Grief is grief, you still feel it whether you are at work, at home, or on holiday. You say nothing about the circumstances of his DW's death, perhaps they had discussed and they were agreed that it was a chance to build bridges with their DD

stillaliveandkicking Sun 05-Feb-17 22:49:56

Is she not allowed to go on holiday with her dad then? Not sure what you are getting at. You're dangerous you are.

NfkDumpling Sun 05-Feb-17 22:53:19

I think it's rather nice. Although personally I'd try to upgrade the cabin.

Nelliemoser Sun 05-Feb-17 23:49:30

I am not thinking about this as creepy as others seem to. All I can say is if the estrangement was particulary difficult the idea of being in close proximity with the other person with no means of "escape" sounds as if it could be a recipe for a dreadful time.
It would be much better to rebuild a damaged relationship slowly and carefully so each party can keep their own space about them. Once on a cruise you are stuck there.

Maggiemaybe Mon 06-Feb-17 00:05:20

The only thing that bothers me are the remarks concerning the inside cabin! Seeing as he's booked one, presumably the dad is not in the happy position of being able to afford a suite. Though I do like Jalima's idea of trying for a sympathy upgrade.

I just hope they have a lovely break.

Maggiemaybe Mon 06-Feb-17 00:16:05

I've just remembered the time I'd booked a short break to Edinburgh and DD2 was taken into hospital the day before. DH went with DS instead and they had to share the double bed. It never crossed my mind that anyone would think it odd.