To let them know, or not.

It' s a no brainer you must tell them now. They are adults and should be treated as such.

I had endoscopy and colonoscopy last week. I did tell my family because it affected baby sitting duties for one son and didn't feel I could tell one and not the others. Otherwise I wouldn't have said anything unless the results were bad.

Regarding the sedation, OH chose gas and air because there would be no downtime after the procedure. With sedation he would have been unable to drive directly afterwards. Says the whole thing was much less unpleasant than he had anticipated.

I think you should tell them. They're adults and don't need to be shielded from grownup stuff. Let them support you - you would want to do it for them if the situation was reversed.

My husband had a colonoscopy last year and, as we live quite close to our daughter and family, she was very aware that Dad was spending most of his time in the loo! Daughter then told her brother who live at the other end of the country.
I must admit that initially I thought it was bowel cancer but never voiced this to our children.
We have always shared stuff in our family, but people are different and you have to deal as you see fit.
As it turned out it was something called Collagenous Colitis, also known as Microscopic Colitis because it's only detected under a microscope using the biopsies that they took. No cure but manageable; my husband takes 1 loperamide (Imodium) tablet at night and no other problems since.
I do hope all goes well with you. Best wishes.

I would wait until the tests are done. Or if you don't feel you want to wait just say I am having a test as I may have colitis.

I would prefer not to keep anyone in suspense by saying I was going to have a test in 6 weeks and then have them wait until I got the results possibly 2 months of worrying.

I'd tell them, just drop them a casual WhatsApp message with very basic details. After all, you'd want to know if they were going for any tests or procedures wouldn't you?

I think if your DS hadn't said that you should tell them about things it would be different but not to tell them would be completely ignoring his wishes. I wouldn't mention cancer just say that you are having a colonoscopy and it might be colitis. If you don't tell and have a bad diagnosis you will have great difficulty in telling them how you came to find out, and they will then be worried all the time that you aren't being honest and open with them.

You should do what your instinct tells you to do. They were upset because you didn't tell them you'd had a stroke. If your colonoscopy shows a condition of any kind, I'm sure you'll tell them about that then.

I would tell them about the test but not mention cancer. My children reacted as yours did when I didn't tell them about a cancer scare, justifiably I think - they are adults!

Having previously had a colonoscopy without, I would without question go for sedation - the procedure is quite painful and at the very least extremely uncomfortable - also if possible opt for an enema rather than the very violent pre-procedure laxative. The only problem with sedation it means you have to have a companion to see you home.

Back to the query - I was put on a 2-week urgent list and it turned out to be nothing worse than diverticulosis, so I would say, like others, wait for the results.

I'm amazed at the number of people whose actions might be determined by not wanting their offspring to be cross with them. I think this is partly because it has never occurred to me that my kids might be cross with me, possibly because they never have been. At least, if they have been, they've kept it to themselves in a completely undetectable way.

It works both ways: I've never felt cross with them since they became independent adults.

Perhaps I am misconstruing the word "cross". Perhaps the 'cross' offspring referred to just said something like "I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you'd told me."

Having Had Many Bad Things Happen Over The Passed 3 Years I Would Tell Them...

I'd forgotten the pre-procedure laxative!! Very thorough indeed, self administered at home. I wouldn't have said it was 'violent'.
Everyone is different but both Esspee's OH and I found the procedure (without sedation) less uncomfortable than anticipated. My abiding memory is the welcome tea and biccies afterwards and then leaving the hospital alone, relieved, and content that it was over.
I think that like other procedures, cataract surgery for instance, the idea of what is going to be done to you is often worse than the reality.

I'd tell them - if by any chance the outcome was that you have a serious condition, it would come as less of a shock if they knew you were having a test. And if, as is more likely, you don't, then they can share your happiness at the result.

(PS Good luck - I had to have a colonoscopy a couple of years ago and I was worried sick, but the result was 'I have rarely seen such a healthy gut!' which was good to know!)

Personally I wouldn't tell them ....why trouble trouble till trouble troubles you as my old mum used to say ! I have now had a total of one full colonoscopy every 18 months since 2007 ...pre procedure colon clearing liquid ......the night before ....here I had an anaesthetic but I think that is normal in France. First one found colo rectal cancer. Treated by an op (fortunately no bag was needed ...but I did get a catalogue of special undies and swimwear just in case !) ......had chemo. Another colonoscopy and PET scan showed it had returned to the liver. Chemo to shrink 5 tumours .....op to remove section of liver. Further MRI and PET scans following another colonoscopy the following year showed it had returned again to the opposite side of the liver .....told nothing else to be done. Then professor offered me radio frequency ablation to the tumours after they were shrunk by more chemo. Had this done in 2012 ....another colo and scan this year showed all gone .......just had my porta cath for the chemo sessions removed after nearly ten years ! SO ...whatever the outcome, be assured this is, if caught in time and treated properly, not normally nowadays a death sentence. (details of the procedures can be found on Bowel Cancer website if you want to see what happens)...

Sure for you everything will be fine ......I would say nothing, but if the need arises to say something, you can just say your doc is sending you for a routine colonoscopy to be sure .....it IS quite a routine these days...a friend living in the USA has one every year needed or not, as her insurance company demands it (and also pays for it !).....Bon courage

Of course you should tell them,any time anything is wrong it is your duty to tell them,even if it is something they dont want to hear.How else will they know there's a problem?I'm talking from experience with my mother and step-father not keeping myself and my brother informed,and I'm now looking after a 90 year old and a 95 year old ,both with the same attitude of " oh don't bother the family they've got enough on their plate".Don't feel guilty about telling your boys,they really do want to know. Good luck .

We have been and, indeed are again, in a similar situation. Our DS and DD want to know what's going on as they love us and are concerned for our welfare. I suggest that you fess up at this stage, acknowledging that your boys have said that they want to know what's happening with you. They will celebrate if it is nothing too serious and, I would hope, support you as best they can, if it is otherwise. Good luck and worry about what you can influence and park what you can't!

Since they got upset last time, I think you should casually mention it in passing. Perhaps along with a moan about other aches and pains which go with getting older. Make it seem routine.

As you have been asked to share health issues on balance I'd send a very low key message, focus on ibs perhaps. I would tell ours, they are both very matter of fact people and we are open with each other. One would tell his wife immediately, the other wouldn't as his wife is very anxious and would worry at a level in excess of reasonable. Families are made up of individuals, all are different. No rights or wrongs here. Don't forget it's OK to bring your own wishes into this. If deep down you would prefer to keep this to yourself and maintain your privacy that's OK too. Please don't worry about the procedure, I found the preparation was the most difficult part, didn't have sedation and in fact none was offered. Wishing you a positive outcome.

I am sorry, but I really cannot see what right our children have to tell us how to live our lives and who we choose to share personal medical information with! Maybe its just me, but I have always found it extremely difficult to share such facts, and much prefer to treat them on a "need to know" basis, but we are all different and i would want to know if my son had any medical condition causing him concern. Maybe that is a bit selfish of me, but I have never found it easy to cause my nearest and dearest any unnecessary worry or stress.

my first reaction was don't tell them until you know whats what as with them living in other countries they will be on edge and worryingly and unable to be there to help ...however I remember when I had some tests ( not for anything suspicious) recently I did tell all my kids even the ones living away so my first instincts were wrong and yes youd better warn them BUT don't mention the word cancer just that you're having some minor tests that are going hand in hand with getting older and nothing to worry about

I would have been very upset if my parents had not told me about any upcoming procedure.

I have had 3 colonoscopies now - part of an ongoing monitoring process that started as taking part in a clinical trial. I haven't gone out of my way to tell my sons who live away from home but neither have I hidden it. When asked "how are you" I have mentioned it in passing. My daughter who lives at home of course knows all about it.
The chances are they will find nodules in the colon but 50% of over 70s have these and it's not a problem.
As your sons were upset that you didn't tell them last time, I agree with flutERBY123, tell them but don't make a meal of it.

I think you should tell them in as matter of fact way you can. Our children need to know about any problems we have as we age but we don't have to give them all the details. Many problems come down through the family & assists diagnosis if/when other members show similar problems.
I have had a number of colonoscopies & I think the procedure depends a lot on the skill of the team & the patient feeling confident with the team & their ability to make you relax.