To let them know, or not.

Difficult question. I discovered a lump and didn't say anything to my four children, in fact they still don't know anything about it as it was proven to be harmless. It was a very worrying time for me and I'm sure I will get told off if they ever find out but it did save them a lot of worry at the time. In hindsight though, had wish I had shared with somebody

I think I'd let them know as they obviously care about about you and would like to know what's happening.

I would tell them you are going for the colonoscopy. Being a caring son means you want to support your parent as much as they have supported you. On the previous occasion they managed to find out anyway - what is to say that would not happen on this occasion too.

As he said - they are adults - approach it that this is a diagnostic test and you are not worried at present.

How would you feel if your son was ill and he did not let you know - I think I would be quite hurt. Love is about protecting people, but also sharing the uncertainties or bad times.

Thank you for all of the responses you've sent regarding telling adult children, in this case mine, about an upcoming colonoscopy. I appreciate and respect all of your opinions and good wishes. I heard from the hospital today that I'll now be having it in two weeks not six as originally thought so I'll 'play it be ear' until nearer the time. Even though opinions have been varied it has been really helpful just to put it down on 'paper'
so thanks again. Kiwi.

My sympathy to you but I feel very strongly that if it were me as difficult as it is I would tell them. Yes they will worry if you tell them but if you don't tell them and there does turn out to be a problem then they are likely to feel very hurt at being excluded and not having time to at least prepare for the possibility of a problem.

Hello kiwibird - Last year DH was in a similar situation, and did the same as you did -but his DS guessed something was up and was very upset that we hadn't told him ( It was only for tests), so now we tell him what he needs to know.This actually stops him worrying as he knows we will be honest with him should the need arise.

Why wouldn't you share this with your sons? Do you trust them to deal with the information in an appropriate way?

I had a Colonoscopy last year and I told my children beforehand in fact my middle son took me to the unit and collected me afterwards. I know my children would have been cross if I hadn't told them I was going for the procedure. I had some little polyps removed that were benign and will be followed up every few years.

I have also had a colonoscopy some years ago.

Although they gave me some sedation, I found the procedure very uncomfortable and certainly wasn't out for the count like you stated, Inishowen..
I don't want another one.

Didn't feel the need to tell adult children, but of course, would have had they found something serious.

Kiwibird, coincidentally, the Gransnet quote of the day included in the daily email they send out could be relative to your post. The attached is todays's quote.

Tell them. No need to make a big deal of it. And by the way, if you haven't had one before, they are fine if you take the meds but you must have someone to collect you. The preparation day is worse, having to drink the horrible gunk and staying next to a loo!

My daughter would be cross if I kept things like that to myself. We share stuff like that; I never feel the need to protect her from being worried, nor she me. Its different for everyone though. Good luck with the procedure.

I've had the same experience (colonoscopy) and didn't say anything to my offspring until I'd got the results. It's true that they're 'big' boys; one lives abroad and the other a fair distance away; both with busy lives and responsible jobs. I saw little point in causing unnecessary distress. And I had the procedure on December 23rd, so Christmas was another consideration!
I hope all goes well for you. BTW I had sedation which worked really well.

* to me* stupid predictive text!

My thought are that of course they are concerned for you and may feel they you should tell them, however it's your call and you should do what ever feels right for you. After all, do our children always share their health issues with us? I think not.

I had this opeocedure recently and although i was worried they onky found diverticulosis. I didnt tell my sons and daughters till afterwards, but in your case i would as they have asked tou to. I would word it as flutterBY (is that right?) suggests. Incidentally tge orocedure was fine , i was sedated Nd dont remember much about it. Ihad a prunt out of the results. The worst bit was taking the drink beforehand to clear the bowel ie it gave me diarrhoea for some hours! But recovered quicky afterwards.

Please don't worry. My OH had a bad result on his bowel screening test. Instead of repeating it they gave him an appointment for a colonoscopy - for four days later. Messenger was at the door 8:30 next morning with the kit to clear out the bowel. We expected the worst - why else would it be treated with such urgency?
It wasn't a pleasant experience but he got the all clear immediately.
In your case I would wait for the result before worrying anyone. It is just a test.
Good luck.

In the past I've had olonoscopies, seigmoidoscopies etc. They are more or less standard tests. My first one showed I.b.s. Only and maybe a polyp can't remember. My last one confirmed I had prolapse of bowel but as yet not bad enough for op.
Personally I told family I was having tests for diagnosis but told them a couple of days before I had actual scopes done then I told results. So they didn't have to wait and worry. I assured them it could reveal minor issues too, not just major ones. I told results as soon as I got them

Keep it Simple - let them know now! As you said with your regular communication it is really easy. They want to know what is happening and will want to call you when you have had the test and get the results - that's what being a family means!

Kiwibird - I think you've made the right decision, to tell your sons near the time. My DC did know I was having one, my DD has a medical friend who was able pass on explanations and reassurance. DS on the other hand, I suspect, felt helpless and worried about me. I wouldn't tell one of mine and not the other but I don't think telling DS more than a day or two in advance helped him or me!
I had gas and air and found the procedure much less uncomfortable than I expected. After tea and biccies I was fine to go home. I think I had a taxi
but may have used public transport. Also I was, later, happy to get a negative result. I still sometimes get the groin pain which was being investigated but now at least I know what it's not!
Hope you also have a straightforward colonoscopy and a negative result. ?

On the subject of having sedation for the procedure I agree it is a good idea but you do need someone to take you home and be with you overnight. The lady on the next trolley to me lived alone and could not have the sedation as I had had.So if you are alone perhaps ask a friend to collect and stay with you.

Yes I waited till diagnosis till told (adult kids )
I had cancer x ( Am fine now )

Tell them - no question. Do it today!

Actually, it is completely up to you, Kiwibird, how much you choose to tell your sons, if at all. They may be adults but this is your body and nobody has the right to "reprimand" you if you want to keep things that are happening to your body, private.
I'd probably tell them after the tests if it was necessary to do so but I wouldn't worry anybody with worries about cancer until I needed to. When I got a lump, I discussed it with my husband but didn't say anything to any of my kids, adults or minors, until afterwards when I got the all clear. I was worried enough for all of them!

Some of the answers here surprise me. My children are adults and have children of their own, (obviously since I am on Gransnet)
I have told my daughter of the medical procedures I am having to have currently. She doesn't live near me, but would come if she were needed. So a bit of warning that these things are happening is appreciated.
They have their own lives but I am a part of that too.