Really upset about this

What a shame serkeen. I was over hydrated after my knee replacement due to intravenous fluids. Once that was explained I understood and reduced my fluid intake but I felt very thirsty. Maybe your DH does too? Maybe he's feeling awkward and took it out on you.
Have a day off visiting as you'll need a rest. It'll give him time to think. Go back in on Thursday and take some sort of refreshing sweets which could help keep him feeling less thirsty. I bet the ward staff will now be told to keep an eye on his fluid intake.
Now try to relax and have a calm evening and a good nights sleep!

but like I was saying Now I'm not sure whether to apologise to DH for getting upset with him or give him space and am confused as to whether I was right or wrong to get upset/loose my temper somewhat

yes they are giving him Furosemide. he asks the nurses for water and they just bring it to him! even though I have asked them not to do that.

When I was on restricted fluids I was brought a different coloured jug containing only the amount of water I was allowed. This made it clear to all staff whatever their shift that I shouldn't be allowed more.

Can't even spell Furosamide either

Sorry, ipaditis.I meant to write "if he was retaining fluid" etc

The amount a patient drinks is under the control of the nursing staff, surely. If they only bring him for instance, 2 jugs of water per day that is all he can have . That is between the doctors and the ward staff. I am puzzled as to why your DH should be "blamed"
If he I saw retaining too much fluid, then presumably they are prescribing diuretics (usually but not exclusively Furomaside)
TBH I think you need a clearer explanation.

I need your help again

I spoke with the doctor today, my husband was out of ear shot and the doctor told me that my husband was taking far too much fluids(the doctors are giving medication to reduce fluids in his body side effect of heart operation) nearly double the amount that he should be drinking and what he has been asked to drink and there is only so much that medicine can do.

You might imagine that this information given to me by his Doctor, made me quite upset at my husband, feeling that he should at least stick to the doctors guidelines so that progress can be made because after nearly 10 weeks in hospital we all really want it to be over.

I felt quite upset that my husband was being so irresponsible and I did get a bit upset with my him and admit I said a couple of things out of frustration.

He then asked me to go home and to go back at the end of the week (I usually visit him everyday)

Now I'm not sure whether to apologise or give him space and am confused as to whether I was right or wrong to get upset/loose my temper somewhat

Yes that makes sense devongirl because you are so right the ward rounds are a 30 second rush job.

serkeen I haven't read all this thread, but I feel the most important thing to do is ask to talk to the consultant overseeing his treatment. On a day-to-day basis the medical staff will be changing (shift patterns etc.) but the consultant will have an overview plus access to all his notes.

I say this because this is what happened when my mother was admitted to hospital after a hip fracture, the consultant had everything relating to her health. Don't be fobbed off - this is your right - and make an appointment rather than a 30-second chat during weard rounds.

Well I don't blame her Jane10 there is a lot of that going on.

I guess they try their best, for some reason I have to say I expected better more professional sensible people to be handling stuff.

You are right Jalima, and i do understand the need for humour in such a job but in the right place. Most hospital staff i have come across tend to forget where they are and that a patient has a right to confidentiality, i dont for a minute think it is done out of spite they just forget their surroundings.

That is different though grannypiper and, sadly, many of us have stories like this which are upsetting and should be reported immediately.

However, this was not a case of disgraceful neglect, more a case of humour which should not have been used within earshot of a patient or patient's relative. Wrong time, wrong place near a distressed relative.

I do hope your husband is well looked after and recovers well, Serkeen, that is what matters.

Disgraceful behaviour by "professionals" who should know better. I had to complain when my DH had a hip replacement, they staff were bone idle and spent their time in the ward dispensary gossiping through the night and ignoring buzzers. My DH had to get out of bed hours after is op to find a nurse to help a very elderly gentleman who had collapsed during the night and was lying on the floor vomiting, the buzzer had been ignored and the shouts of the other patients in the room, even then they took time to get off their backsides. Lookingg at photos and discussing their social lives seems to have been top priority. After i complained the Matron was fantastic and for the next few days i never saw a single member of the ward staff on their phones and the buzzers were answered straight away.
Serkeen dont let it go

I agree with paddyann
Sometimes people in stressful jobs use black humour as a way to keep themselves sane, quite honestly. It is very unfortunate that they did this in your hearing, that was wrong.

I hope no-one ever eavesdrops in an operating theatre.

I do hope someone dealt with the boil and I am sure they would have done so in a professional manner.

So frustrating for you. I remember being furious when MiLs consultants reassured us that she would only be discharged after careful planning and discussion with us then, with no warning, just discharged her. They'd given up on her treatment and just seemed to want rid of her. I expect there was pressure for beds but he shouldn't have made promises that he must have known couldn't be kept. MiL was very distressed and saw herself as chucked out.

Spoke to the Doctor that came around today and I asked what's the plan. He said that they are battling the fluids that my husband has due to the heart operation.

Doc says once the fluids are controlled they will then check his heart to ensure its fine.

He would not and I presume could not commit to a discharge plan as yet

But still all a bit hazy, its not what they are saying, more they way in which they are saying it, in terms of discharge, we have been told Thursday for sure for discharge and now today, although nothing has changed medically, Thursday is a maybe, the whole thing is driving me quite crazy and our stress levels are at an all time high!

Thank you for your support, its priceless to me right now.

Unforgivable infantile behaviour by alledged 'professionals'.

And for goodness sake - they've surely come across much, much worse conditions than a mere boil on someone's bottom.

But, you know what they say - what goes around comes around......they'll get their comeuppance I expect.

The issue with the boil is distressing but not life threatening while the 'bug' situation might be, especially if the medics are not saying what it is. My DH had an operation a few years ago and, afterwards, contracted a nameless 'bug' which we later found was MRSA. This infection threatened his life and he had six months' worth of intravenous treatement in and out of hospital before it was brought under control. The first step to recovery was being fully informed about what he had contracted and how it was going to be treated. I should insist on being fully informed about your H's condition and make a formal complaint about the way the boil was made a subject of derision instead of compassion.

Good luck serkeen we're all behind you. Let us know how it goes.

Thank you. I am today going to be at the hospital when the Doctors do their rounds.

I will as advised ask relevant questions, what's the plan, when will my husband be discharged.

I will then if not happy, email the CEO as I think that was really good advice.

I can not thank you enough. Your help means so much right now.

Go to the top and complain VERY loudly. It's disgraceful that staff didn't want to deal with the boil, that's what they are there for after all. I would also ask why you keep getting contradictory information. My experience is that the more noise you make, the more likely you are to get action whether information or treatment. Good luck, we're rooting for you!!

Dear Serkeen, I'm so sorry you're both going through such a horrid time.

My heart really goes out to you.

I've had to become an advocate for my father and mother on different occasions when they were in hospital, and I always found it difficult to know when to insist the staff listen to me. In fact I was told repeatedly that they were not obliged to talk to me about my parents respective illnesses as it was a breach of confidentiality!

The only way I finally managed to get some help from the nurses when my mother was in hospital, was when she started pulling her drips out in order to go home.

I suggested if they informed me of the different aspects of her treatment and illness I might be able to help them keep her comfortable and in hospital, as she was determined to get out by hook or by crook!

I heard staff talking about me and how I was 'one of the difficult ones' and more!

It was a very stressful time, and the worry can make you dither and mistrust your own judgement cant it?!

I don't want to sound biased as we did find some dedicated professional and caring people in the NHS,
but when it goes wrong the results can be catastrophic.

From what I've read most people with more knowledge than I, have given you some brilliant advice, I'm glad to say.

I hope it helps.

Please let us know how you get on soon!

Sending you both best wishes

You have to fight now to get what you want. Our N.H.S. is being reduced staff overworked many underpaid.

I agree with Paddyann. You want it on someone's file, some misplaced black humour? They saved your husband, who clearly was very ill if he was in hospital that long. How many heart specialists do we have in NHS, that we can waste some?