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Does anyone else find this a bit creepy?

(52 Posts)
bytheway Fri 23-Jun-17 19:16:05

I went to a children's birthday party a couple of months ago. In attendance was a family friend, lets call him Dave (aged 45) and his girlfriend (Natasha)of only 4 months, and Dave's mother.

Both Dave and Natasha have grown up children.

Throughout the party Natasha kept refering to Dave's Mother as 'Mum' and Dave's mother kept refering to Natasha's children as her own grandchildren and saying how she was excited at the forthcoming birth of her second great grandchild (Natasha's grandchild).(you still with me?)

Now I know its not uncommon for people to refer to step grandchildren as just grandchildren and for people to refer to their MIL's and FIL's as 'Mum and Dad' but after only 4 months....seriously?

I found it quite unnerving for some reason. Probably because i am an Introvert and not a people person.

I will leave this post by stating that i heard this week that Dave and Natasha have split up.....

valeriej43 Sun 25-Jun-17 11:26:24

I could never call anyone but my own mother mum,nd both my mils wanted to be called by their surname, should say ex mils now
My own sons and daughters partners call me by my first name
My second mil would not even acknowledge my 2 children to her son as her grand children,only the ones by his first wife

Marianne1953 Sun 25-Jun-17 11:33:23

Yes it is odd. My Daughter & her husband split up and within a moth her ex had found another woman and about a month after that her son was informing my 3 year Grandson that he was his brother, he was very confused by this and asked me if that was the case. I asked him if he wanted to be called his brother and he said no , he wanted to be called his friend. They are still together and I'm presume they are now regarded as step brothers.

ninathenana Sun 25-Jun-17 11:35:27

Poor you valerie that is very unfriendly having to call your ex MiLs " Mrs. Bloggs" or whatever.
As for your second MiL and your children that's mad. They're her son's children, I wonder how your ex felt.

Musicelf Sun 25-Jun-17 11:36:53

My husband had a traumatic childhood, and lost contact with his parents. When we met, aged 50, he avoided calling my mother anything at all, but when we decided to get married, he asked mum if he could call her "Mum" to make up for the one he'd lost. He's called her that ever since, and it doesn't seem creepy. Mum called her in-laws Mum and Dad too, as she was a German immigrant with no family of her own in the country.

Diddy1 Sun 25-Jun-17 11:40:39

Not creepy, and maybe not unusual these days, sorry it didnt last, thereby no problem!

Cobweb01 Sun 25-Jun-17 11:41:38

My stepdaughter calls me by my name but her children call me Grandma (their choice and I am fine with it). My daughter has just become engaged and her lovely man has not called me mum yet and I am not bothered either way, however if they had just started dating I would not be happy if he or anyone else simply started calling me "mum".

annodomini Sun 25-Jun-17 12:22:56

My sons still call me Mum so that won't ever change. The GC just call me Granny or Gran. However, DS1's three children call him by his name and their mum by hers.

luluaugust Sun 25-Jun-17 12:53:22

My Dil and Sils call me by my first name, they all have their own mums anyway. Its not creepy just the way some things in modern life have to be instant, bit surprised at her mum after knowing them such a short time.

Teddy123 Sun 25-Jun-17 12:56:44

Not especially creepy .... I called my MIL 'mum' from about week 2 just because everyone did. To her family I called her 'your mum'. They all knew I had my own MUM .....
It was no big deal and I wasn't thinking of the future since it was early days. No big deal!

Jennylynn Sun 25-Jun-17 13:57:01

It's what you feel comfortable with. Since living with my partner his 5 children have had 15 children between them and all of them refer to me as either, granny, nan, nana and what really upsets me, is when the ex wife refers to me by my name when she is talking to the grandchildren, especially as her husband is referred to as grandad and not by his name! I also feel comfortable calling my partners mum 'mum'. But, I don't like it when one of my stepsons calls me Mum, work that one out??

wilygran Sun 25-Jun-17 14:01:41

Families! You have to laugh! My first MIL always resented my ex's next wife, who persisted in calling her "Mum" from day one! I swear it was a case of the second wife marking her territory, as MIL and I had only ever used first names!

radicalnan Sun 25-Jun-17 14:29:30

I think it over optimistic to involve the children in very new relationships because it is confusing for them when things don't work out.

My youngest son calls me Rommell which I think covers our relationship quite well, my daughter calls me Goat......a rose by any other name.

HellsBells Sun 25-Jun-17 14:36:20

I get called Marmee, Mother, Hels, Hells Bells, Mummy, Nana (as in banana)and Helen by my children and their partners -I answer to all of them. We have 6 children (two adopted)- 16 grandchildren and another on the way - some are steps but I count them all as my grandchildren and treat them equally -I have been asked how many of them are actually your own! People are funny they are all ours and their children

Legs55 Sun 25-Jun-17 14:45:26

My DD calls me Mum, my DM is Granny to both my DD & DGS. My DD's OH often calls me "Mother" which I don't mind & I'm Nan or Nanny to my gorgeous DGSsmile

I have always called in-laws by their first name.

Sheilasue Sun 25-Jun-17 15:37:08

Yep each to their own

JanaNana Sun 25-Jun-17 17:21:06

Not creepy...more over optimistic so early on. My son's wife and daughter"s husband both use my first name which I think I prefer.

stillaliveandkicking Sun 25-Jun-17 17:24:26

Too much too soon.

It takes time to "blend" a family.

hildajenniJ Sun 25-Jun-17 18:11:34

I'm only Mum to my children, and Granny to my grandchildren. My SiL calls me by my name which is fine by me. I couldn't bring myself to call my MiL Mum or even use her name. She never asked me to do either, plus I was slightly intimidated by her. She was Grandma to my children, so that is how I referred to her.

Day6 Sun 25-Jun-17 18:24:57

I called my MIL 'Mum', but only after my own dear Mum had died. She was like a Mum to me - very caring and concerned. Back then, (in the '70s, '80s, '90s ) I couldn't have called her by her first name. Didn't seem right somehow. However my sons in law refer to me by my name and I am fine with that.

moobox Sun 25-Jun-17 18:43:27

Between them my DS and DD reside with my 2 grandchildren, my 3 step grandchildren and my step step grandchild, who isn't actually related to my SIL, never mind me. They can either fit in with my DGD and my DGS (once he can talk) and call me grandparenty names or call me by my name. I a past caring!

Magrithea Sun 25-Jun-17 19:14:18

It's up to them but I always called my MiL by her Christian name as my DH did my parents. My Mum does refer to my brother's step-daughter's children as her grandchildren and upset my daughter by referring to her (step-daughter's) child as her (my mum's - keep up!) great grandchild. this particular person caused a lot of trouble in our family when she was younger and I was also annoyed rather than upset that my mum called her children her great grandchildren but if it makes Mum happy then....

maddy629 Sun 25-Jun-17 22:39:46

I always referred to my in laws as mum and dad, I don't find anything creepy about it. My daughter in law and son in law both call me by my Christian name, that's fine too.

Aslemma Sun 25-Jun-17 23:14:31

My eldest son's wife has always called me Mum, as has my daughter's husband. My second son's ex wife also called me Mum but his present partner calls me by my Christian name, which is understandable given they are both older. My youngest son's wife also uses my Christian name, but I think that is at least partly due to not having a good relationship with her own mother.

Phoebes Mon 26-Jun-17 12:46:19

My son-in-law calls me Mum as he has lost his own mum and has had two step-mothers since his parents split up. I think I provide a bit of stability!

Royandsyl Mon 26-Jun-17 18:32:39

Nothing creepy about it at all. I always called my mother-in-law and father-in-law mum and dad. I loved them to bits. I was married for 50 years and they were around us for many many years. I miss them terribly. Everybody is different.