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Charlie Gard

(742 Posts)
devongirl Sun 09-Jul-17 18:18:35

My heart absolutely bleeds for his parents, but I can't help thinking it's time to let him die in peace..

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 10:52:39

Eglantine, with respect I will talk about any subject I choose, within the rules of the forum . Yes I have visited that hospital several times.

Many have posted here about this hospital, will you question them all to find out if they have - even visited there ?

paddyann Fri 28-Jul-17 11:03:34

can I just say that there are doctors who only see patients/conditions and not PEOPLE .I know because I've encountered a few.When my baby girl was dying I was told by the doctor to "go home and forget her and try again" the "next baby will be healthy ...an athlete or a ballerina" I remember the exact words as if it was yesterday ,Heartless,he didn't see a much wanted child on life support , or that it was a second loss for us ,he was ready to move on to his next patient .There are still doctors/nurses with that attitude around today ...

wildswan16 Fri 28-Jul-17 11:08:43

Whether we like it or not, the picture these parents are painting of the dedicated, world first-class paediatricians and medical staff we are fortunate to have at GOSH is not what I want to see. They are grieving, yes, but they have appear to have totally lost their way and their reasoning. Charlie is in the best possible place and I cannot understand why they don't disappear from public view and stay a little while with their son and say their goodbyes.

Nothing would have been different whenever it was or was not done. They need to accept that. The US doctor had nothing to offer and only gave them false messages.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 11:16:07

Paddyann, how cruel, I send you hugs . When mine died I was told - well you have two , seems I wasn't suppose to love the two who died .

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 11:17:47

Stay away from public view? What a cruel thing to say, do they have leprosy?

Gagagran Fri 28-Jul-17 11:20:12

I have not seen any mention of letting baby Charlie go home after he has died in a refrigerated cuddle cot. There was a press report not long ago about them and one bereaved Mum had her baby with her for 16 days after death.

Surely some compassionate person could suggest this to Connie who just wants her baby home to say her goodbyes in privacy. Chris too.

Desdemona Fri 28-Jul-17 11:23:54

The cuddle cot idea is an excellent one. Maybe it has been suggested to them, lets hope so.

Eglantine19 Fri 28-Jul-17 11:32:10

Annie, knowing the provision that GOSH makes for the death of a child and the support that they give to family members I was surprised that you said it would take place with uncaring staff in a bustling hospital. As I said that has not been my experience. It sounded more like somebody venting an uninformed opinion. But if you have had the experience of a death at GOSH of course you are entitled to tell us about it

sunseeker Fri 28-Jul-17 12:08:41

Not having had children I can't begin to comprehend the distress of little Charlie's parents. I have been touched by the posts from those of you who lost children - my condolences to you all, I can't imagine the pain you must suffer. My hope is that Charlie slips away peacefully surrounded by his loving parents and grandparents.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:15:27

Eglantine , please do not post untruths , I said a bustling hospital, no mention of uncaring staff, apology please

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:17:36

And Elegran, my cousin did work there for years, now her daughter is a doctor there

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:28:28

Sunseeker, thank you, there are several posters who have buried their babies, difficult to explain not only the grief but the 'what if' and the empty arms Paddyann spoke so movingly of. When you have carried the child for nine months it is your child, the love so strong you would do anything to try to save the tiny treasure . Both Paddyann and I have defended these parents because we know their distress, fear, a few other posters have defended them too but more have critcise them.

I hope Charlie's last moments will be in the arms of his parents and peaceful

devongirl Fri 28-Jul-17 12:32:24

Completely agree, Annie, and so sorry for your losses.

I think posters are really intending only to defend GOSH, who have had a lot of bashing over the last weeks.

Eglantine19 Fri 28-Jul-17 12:37:56

You said a peaceful hospice with deeply caring people over a bustling hospital implying the hospital would not have deeply caring people. Perhaps you didn't mean that? I think there is also a love so strong that lets them go.

Elegran Fri 28-Jul-17 12:49:17

Not relevant, Annie but I think your spell-checker typed Elegran instead of Eglantine.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 13:05:20

No Elegran, you accused me of saying uncaring people, I did not, yes hospices have deeply caring people, fact, how do you claim this means I said hospitals do not have deeply caring people ?

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 13:06:22

So sorry Elegran, I thought it was not a post I expected from you , I am sorry

norose4 Fri 28-Jul-17 13:14:56

Why oh why are we even giving opinions on a situation we know virtually nothing about in terms of the full details of dear little Charlie's conditions. We should by all means being offering support & understanding to all parties concerned, neither the parents or GOSH should be vilified by us or by any one else. Some commentators on here speak as if they have access to all the details, & decision making of this very sad case, let's show some respect and stop posting as if we do . ?

nightowl Fri 28-Jul-17 13:42:01

Actually norose4 I have to say I agree with you. I hope I haven't posted as if I know all the details but if I have I'm sorry. My only thought has truly been for Charlie and his parents.

devongirl Fri 28-Jul-17 13:45:10

Yes, I think all we all want now is peace for the parents and a peaceful end for Charlie.

Gagagran Fri 28-Jul-17 14:05:20

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/02/grieving-couple-use-cuddlecot-spend-16-days-caring-baby-died/

This is a link to the piece I read.

Surely this might help Charlie's parents fulfil their wish to take him home. I hope someone has suggested it to them.

Ana Fri 28-Jul-17 14:13:06

But the parents want to be with Charlie during his final days, not after he's gone. I don't think the idea would appeal to them, but I may be wrong.

merlotgran Fri 28-Jul-17 14:31:33

Sorry but I can't think of anything worse. The poor parents have been in anguish over their baby's terminal illness for almost a year. Why would they want to take his dead body home?

Gagagran Fri 28-Jul-17 14:34:35

Because those who have done so have found it gives them precious time with their baby so they can say goodbye in their own way. I don't know if they would want to do this. It's just something that has helped some people who have lost their baby.

paddyann Fri 28-Jul-17 15:02:53

merlotgran it wasn't SO long ago we used to take our dead home.at least here we did,they lay in a bedroom or front room and had visitors and family round them who sat with them day and night.Its not a new thing though the cuddlecots are ,they are used in SCBU when parents dont want to take a baby home but want some extra time with them and paole do say it makes a huge difference