Bluebelle
We're not very well off, certainly not in comparison to some posters on here!
However, I believe that money should be spread around, and that's one of the reasons why I tip and give out 'Xmas boxes'!
The waiter who was so ill mannered and surly was in at least his late thirties, old enough to be far more professional in his dealings with customers!
You may think I was mean leaving the note for him, but he spoiled what should have been a wonderful meal, so personally I think he got away lightly! I left the note on the table for him, I could have complained to the manager, which would have been a lot worse for him!
The meal in question was to celebrate our 30th Anniversary, and his attitude put a dampener on the whole evening.
His tip would have been £9-00 because the bill was for almost £90-00, so 10%!
We've only spent that sort of cash on a meal twice in our lives, the other occasion being at the Rainbow Rooms at the Rockefeller Centre. The bill there was obscene, and I break into a cold sweat every time I think of it! That was strictly a one-off, the food was wonderful and the view amazing, but I don't think we'll be eating there ever again!
The £80-00 given at Xmas to Postman, Window Cleaner and Binmen is put in a tub in the kitchen in dribs and drabs through the year, then changed into notes just before it's needed.
Whenever any of our family have been in Hospital, we take in cakes/biscuits/chocolates for the ward staff to have at tea breaks. I don't consider that to be a 'tip', it's a Thank You!
In fact my DM's 83rd Birthday party was held in her room on the Haematology ward, where she died 13 days later of Leukaemia. All the staff were invited, from cleaners to consultants, there were sandwiches, pork pies, crisps, cake, lots of soft drinks and even jelly and ice cream. She wasn't in a private room because we paid, the ward has private rooms for their very seriously ill patients, and those rooms have their own fridges with tiny freezer boxes. The fridges are bought with donations from patients and their families, not NHS funds. So my DM had a lovely time on what we all knew would be her last birthday, and the staff got a treat too. The staff on that ward are amazing, I'm not made of the strong stuff that they are!
You commented that binmen seem to get a fairly good wage for doing a horrible job. In this borough, their salary is between £13000 & £22000, I wouldn't call that a good salary for what they do!
You compared the horrible aspect of a bin man's job to that of a Nurse cleaning up a drunk's vomit, or a Police Officer finding a stabbed body. There are awful aspects to all three jobs (my DF was a Police Officer, so I know), but the financial arrangements are very different.
A Registered Nurse's salary is usually between £22000 & £37000, avaraging out at £31000.
Police Officers earn between £21000 & £39000 with an average of £30000.
My DH's closest frind is a newly retired Fireman. Okay, his salary was good, but just how many of us would be prepared to do that job!
I hope this makes it plain why I didn't leave a tip for the surly waiter and why I do 'Xmas boxes'?