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Ask a gran


(71 Posts)
Christine5 Wed 13-Sep-17 13:43:18

Sorry if there is a thread already on this. I'm new to the site and there are so many topics! I'm having my one year old grandson to stay overnight. First time he will have been away from mum (who still breastfeeds him back to sleep throughout the night)
Any advice / experience would be most welcome.

aggie Wed 13-Sep-17 13:47:15

Will he take a bottle of expressed milk ? Maybe his own bedclothes would sooth him too

LadyGracie Wed 13-Sep-17 13:48:05

I'll watch this thread with interest, I'll be having my granddaughter for a night in December at 11 months, not still being breastfed, but first night away from parents.

Nanabilly Wed 13-Sep-17 14:31:53

I have had my grandson overnight on a Wednesday since he was 9 months old though not breast red and he has always slept through. I have been pretty lucky with him to be honest as only the odd broken night for a nightmare or if he is ill . We have a great time and it's the highlight of my week.

trisher Wed 13-Sep-17 15:31:28

Has he got a comfort-toy/blanket if so ask mum to keep it close to her skin for a day and bring it with him when he comes. If not ask her to do the same with a cover/Terry cloth -something you can fold over the top of the mattress where he is sleeping. If he wakes and needs feeding tuck it in close to you as he gets his bottle (it would help if mum tries to give him expressed milk before you have him). The smell is supposed to comfort and remind him of mum. Get a good night's sleep before he comes and don't arrange too much for when he goes!

Starlady Thu 14-Sep-17 02:54:27

No way would I take a baby overnight who doesn't sleep through, unless it were an emergency! I can't deal with that at my age (70). But perhaps you're younger or more energetic than me.

That being said, the expressed milk should help if he's used to being breastfed at night. What does the mum suggest?

Serkeen Thu 14-Sep-17 05:56:13

I do not understand how you can be asked to do this if the baby is still so young.

I personally feel that our generation are far too soft, can you imagine going to your Mother and asking her to babysit and have overnight a baby that is still waking in the night!

I wholeheartedly think that this generation of Mum's EXPECT us grandmums to babysit, and have our homes full of highchairs and bombarded with toys. If I had said to my Mother that I was going t buy a highchair and a baby cot to go in her house she would have looked at me as if I were mad--Yes I have a highchair and baby bed and a ton of toys at my house ..

I just would not have expected anyone to take care of my children. I think Nan's should have the privilege of choosing when they are able to do the odd bit of babysitting and not be told when, ok if something important comes up but other than that I feel it should be up to the Nan when she babysits.

Maybe I am the only Nan that feels this way .. ..

Serkeen Thu 14-Sep-17 05:59:50

PS would just like to add that although I were not a single Mum I did have to bring my children up alone, with no help what so ever from Husband or family so I feel as if I have done my bit when it comes to bringing up children

Serkeen Thu 14-Sep-17 06:03:52

Now having said all of the above, I babysit on a regular basis and have committed myself to picking up DGD from school every day til she gets a fulltime place.. smile

BlueBelle Thu 14-Sep-17 06:46:33

I have babysat overnight when they were babies and I used to do exactly what I did with my own when they woke (wether it fitted in with the parents regime or not) and that was a bottle, cuddle or rock back to sleep however I ve never overnighted a breastfed baby

I don't see why Nans should only babysit when they choose Serkeen surely it's about helping and need doesn't always know time limits When I went into hospital to have my second my mum and dad looked after my first (Who was still waking in the night) for a few days and when I had my third my mum travelled about 200 miles to be with my other two and nothing in the original post suggests the poster has been TOLD to babysit but presumably asked
Through no fault of their own my youngest daughter and son in law had a belated honeymoon when their little one was 15 months old I flew to Europe to have ten days sole charge in their house She became poorly with an ear infection and we had a few funny old nights I put a mattress down by her bed so I wasn't in and out all night but as soon as she was better we had lots of fun I felt that was a total privilege and my daughter knew I would looked after her with my life
Now they are all grown or growing up I miss those baby days enormously

grannyactivist Thu 14-Sep-17 08:57:09

Christine5 - I often had my grandchildren to stay over from a very young age (still do in fact) and followed a tip I used to give to new adopters, which was to use the same washing detergent/softener as the foster carers had used _ also lay them on or near a T-shirt that mum had worn. Smells are hugely important to babies.

Luckygirl Thu 14-Sep-17 09:00:12

Another ploy is to have them over for the day, with Mum there, and put them in your cot to sleep for their nap so they have a taster of the venue!

ninathenana Thu 14-Sep-17 12:27:45

Perhaps my 1st GS was just a very contented baby but we had him over night and sometimes several days/nights in a row from about the same age (various reasons) and the only thing needed for him to settle at ours was a favourite cuddly toy.
I agree with Bluebelle we do what we can to help. At this time D was living hour and a half drive away and couldn't drive then so I had to pick up and deliver him.
I once had to dash and collect him from the child minder as he was ill and D at work. The flippin child minder complained to D about the time it took for me to get there !!
She moved him after that smile
Oh BTW she didn't buy the cot, highchair and stroller I kept at my house I did.

Nanny27 Thu 14-Sep-17 12:43:07

Smiling at your comment ninathenana. I have looked after all 7 of my grandchildren regularly over the past 8 years and not once has anyone offered to buy me a pushchair, high chair, cot, toys etc. It's cost me a small fortune and considering I took early retirement to help look after them money is not as abundant as it once was.

jusnoneed Thu 14-Sep-17 12:45:13

I had my eldest GD to stay for a couple days at a time from about a month old, my inlaws did the same with my eldest son (GD's dad). It proved valuable when I had to be in hospital when he was small, he was quite happy staying at his Nans.
I never had the chance to do the same with second son (different in laws) and he was a nightmare to have stay anywhere without us for the first few years.
Expressed milk, nice cuddle with a familiar blanket and he should settle, hopefully he may sleep through, at a year old you would hope he would.

TwiceAsNice Thu 14-Sep-17 12:56:16

I would be worried about having a breast fed baby overnight unless it was a dire emergency and there was no option. Happy to do it when completely weaned. I agree that modern mums expect overnight care as a given. None of mine stayed overnight until they were around 4 and one of them refused to do it then.

Norah Thu 14-Sep-17 14:24:12

My DDs and now my DGDs give me something they have slept with or worn to wrap the baby. A shirt, towel, baby blanket, any will do. My first DD is 54, been babies in cots here for a long time, most younger than a year. Relax and enjoy.

ginny Thu 14-Sep-17 14:25:17

I've never been told or expected to babysit. I have been asked and gratefully thanked.
Love having little ones to stay. We have taken our eldest DGS away on holiday every year for last 10 years and hope to do the same with our little DGS.
Don't tar all modern mums with the same brush.

grannyactivist Thu 14-Sep-17 15:37:55

I have a travel cot, a wooden cot, a pushchair, a highchair and lots of baby toys - and all of them were bought by my daughter to make my life easier when I was helping her out with babycare. She's now expecting baby number three, but has moved some distance away and is anticipating how much more difficult life will be without having me close at hand. With the new baby I shall have to work harder at re-creating the closeness I have with my daughter's older two, having been around from when they were born.

ginny Thu 14-Sep-17 16:38:32

Christine5, the idea of having something that smells of Mum is a good one or maybe he has a special cuddly or blanket. Not sure about the feeding at night but I'm sure you will sort something. Enjoy your time with him. It's true they grow so quickly.

maryhoffman37 Thu 14-Sep-17 17:46:25

I have babysat for my two London grandchildren from the age when they woke once or twice in the night and sometimes said I'd do a "night shift" just to give my daughter and son-in-law a break when they were far too tired to go out. It's disruptive but only one night. I couldn't do it every day the way we had to when raising our three. It brings you closer to the babies so I hope you have a lovely sleepover.

milkflake Thu 14-Sep-17 18:14:57

I thought it was a privilege to have my baby GS to stay overnight. A baby grows up so quickly and these first few months are precious and I felt so lucky to have him stay over. It wasn't every week he stayed but he came one day a week every week. Having them so close builds a bond that lasts.
My Mum had my children to stay and they were all very close to her and my father.
It's hard work but an overnight stay once in a while is good unless you have to go to work the next day!
Breast milk in a bottle , things the baby is used to, like his blanket and lots of love and cuddles he will be fine.

IngeJones Fri 15-Sep-17 09:51:45

Christine, just plan to have a whole day of rest and an early night when he's gone smile It could be grim, but the parents will be grateful anyway. Or we could both be pleasantly surprised when it all goes off smoothly and joyfully.

MummyT Fri 15-Sep-17 09:59:59

We have had our two grandchildren overnight from very young and have loved it and my husband too. Expressed milk sounds a must in your case. Keep baby in your room of course and everything to hand and all will be fine. Our granddaughter is 3 now and our grandson 9 months and we all look forward to our 'sleepovers'. They don't happen often but are precious times and bonding times and of course you can catch up on sleep after. Enjoy!!

Ufton123 Fri 15-Sep-17 10:01:27

Sixteen years ago I had my 10 month old Grandson for 10 days (in his own home) while my son and his wife had a late honeymoon. It was sad one night when he realised mummy wasn't there and we sat and cried together for a while, but that was it And I have to say he and I have always had a very close relationship. Would do it all again!