An upset grandson

Maybe danae feels she has read a representative range of GN opinions on her situation and that will do her.

And doesn't feel inclined to respond to further niggly comments, nellie.

She does not say that the child regarded her as main carer IngeJones - just that he sees her as main stability.
A wake up call for the parents that they need to provide more stability.
The holiday will be a time to change the stability to the place that it ought to come from.

I totally disagree Baggs bedwetting and clinginess in a 9 Year old who has previously been dry is definirely showing a very unhappy and stressed out child It would be very different if the child has never been dry at night

It is fine to say the parents need to step up but they obviously haven't in the last 8 years so why would they now They obviously see their (not so wanted child) as passed over to Danae and not their problem BUT without Danae telling us more about his life when he is with his parents it's hard to know Is he treated badly by the step parents? is he abused? is he bullied ? is he left out and lonely? or is he just spoilt by nanny and granddad? Is there anyone to keep an eye on him while they are away? How are the parents going to physically manage if they can't now ?
If Danae and her husband are his primary carers then I think if it was me I would have had the holiday in his school holiday and taken him with me If however he is well looked after but just not as comfortable as when he's with Danae then he will have to learn to accept it
I m wondering how much Danae will enjoy this holiday worrying about him left behind

bedwetting and clinginess in a 9 Year old who has previously been dry is definirely showing a very unhappy and stressed out child It would be very different if the child has never been dry at night

Unhappy and stressed out, perhaps. But not necessarily for the reasons assumed. Seriously, I speak from experience.

I mean the experience of dealing with a child who had been dry at night for years and then wasn't for years.

There were no assumptions about causes by the medical professionals involved.

Oh, and the bed-wetting wasn't a big deal for the child. Other things were.

But you can't expect every bed wetting child is the same as your experience Baggs Every child is different, yours didn't mind, most would, yours wasn't caused by a particular reason but you can't judge this on your own experience alone .....it's a huge coincidence for the bedwetting and clinginess to begin at the same time as the child is given the news of the holiday and Danae obviously thinks it's connected or else she wouldn't have mentioned it

I don't expect anything but I do wonder. The scenario given sounds fairly complicated and may be the cause of the child's stress and the bed-wetting. But there may be other causes too. That's all I'm saying.

That's why I carefully used the phrase "not necessarily".

I thought all sorts of things were connected which turned out not to be.

Just saying.

Some things I've tried are hide things around the child's home so you can direct him to them when you write. Leave your favorite blanket with him for "safe keeping" so he has something to curl up with at night and think of you. Put some of you perfume on the blanket-to bring you closer. Plan something fun for when you return so you can talk about it when you Skype. Like decorating for Christmas-tell him to look for favorites as he walks by the shops and tell him what you are finding on your travels. Do you collect anything together? Small metal birds? Those walking toys that are very inexpensive? Leave him a really good book-hidden of course-and take a copy with you. Read together when you Skype. Have a secret saying and then learn to say it backwards together. Name your car-mine is the happy car-he will talk about it forever. Get him to name it. Buy him an inexpensive tackle box-the kind people take fishing that has tons of little compartments-fill them with office supplies like rubber bands, paper clips, marbles, and little things from your home he likes. Also, write him a little book with good sayings that remind you of him-I love doing your homework and think every afternoon of us together again doing homework. When I brush my teeth in the morning I think of us looking out in the morning watching birds-I love the blue ones. You get the idea. You are leaving part of yourself with him so he knows you are coming back. Sorry this is so long. It will be hard but you both will get through it and be so glad to see each other again!

I would not necessarily put the bed wetting down to you going away. Has he been checked out by a doctor, via a urine test, to see if there is an infection there? Easily picked up at school etc. My GS started to wet the bed at about the same age and it turned out to be Type 1 diabetes. Sorry to sound the alarm on this but it needs to be checked out by a medic.