But MIL was not in delivery room so HOW

The original thread for this was on Mumsnet.

The mother had to have an emergency c-section. The MIL was a doctor in the same hospital and used her work-access pass to let herself in to the operation theatre recovery area where visitors are not allowed and grabbed the baby without being invited by the parents. The original OP was also very distressed that because it was a secure/non-visitor area - the medical staff revealed the OP's private medical history that OP would not have wanted her MIL to know.

I think the MIL really overstepped and is lucky not to be facing disciplinary action for gatecrashing her DIL's private medical procedure

Cold, yes mil very much overstepped. She will wonder why she got co. We know why.

The MIL behaved appallingly both personally and professionally. If that had happened to me, I would have taken a long time to forgive both her and my husband. That sort of breach of trust is bound to sour the relationship and quite understandably so. How long before the MIL is posting about how she has been cut out of their lives? I’m shocked at the number of you who think the DIL was being precious.

Another case of a grandmother overstepping the mark and putting herself and what she wants ahead of any sensitivity and care for her DiL.

Ooh the entitled young mums on the other place must be loving this! Practically stratospheric on their high horses and glowing like the Reddibrek kid with righteous indignation!

The MiL is the mother's MiL but the father's mother and the baby's grandmother. She didn't sneak in to visit the baby. The father had asked for her support after a traumatic delivery. I would have come running (!) if one of my sons had asked me for support. As it was, I saw and cuddled each of my GC on Day 1. Many years later, I can confidently say that this didn't affect family bonding one iota.

"grabbed" the baby? Really? GRABBED? And a doctor to boot?

Oh come on! Get real.

If she was there to support him why the hell didn't she cuddle the son who had asked for her support and leave the baby alone? It wasn't her baby and she went in without the parent's knowledge she wasn't being supportive she was being intrusive.

I read this on Mumsnet.

The father rang his mom to rant and vent. Didn't ask for her come to the hospital. She turned un invited, with her ID and let herself into the ward and held the baby without letting anyone know she turned up.

The new mom had a traumatic birth which ended in c-section. MIL also invited herself into room (without anyone knowing) and overheard all of the new moms personal medical information which was on par with STI/Abortion.

The MIL over stepped the mark massivley. She WASN'T invited. She invited herself. Took her ID to let her self in, she knew what she was doing even though she knew her son and DILs wishes! Horrible.

I saw and cuddled both my dgc on day 1 - after their parents and had my daughter had any preferences I woul£ hav3 honoured them regardless of what I might have thought. And this MIL according to the information we have did abuse her professional position

* MB* I think your comments are really unkind

"Entitled young mums"? What on earth does that mean? It's hardly entitled for the newly delivered mother to want to be the first family member who holds the new baby.

If you can't be entitled when you've just had a human cut out of you I don't know when you can be tbh.
She was still being stitched up in theatre when MIL snuck him.

The Entitled mother was still in Recovery after being cut open and stitched up after a traumatic labour and birth. To then find out when shes most vulnerable, MIL has snuck in, uninvited and held her baby. The baby she has just had removed from her.
And then have personal medical information discussed in the recovery room that she has once again invited herself in and heard some very personal info about her DIL.

She over stepped the mark not only as a MIL but professionally too. She abused her position and if the hospital find out she could loose her job! If her son invited her she would of had no use for her key card.

MaryEliza I think stirring up all this anti MIL feeling is what is unkind. For goodness sake why can’t people see that a family is made up of more than 2 generations and a loving grandmother is someone to cherish. We are unlikely to know the circumstances of the occurrence, (“Sneaking in” and “grabbing”? )but sensationalising it and demonising the grandmother (first grandchild?) is not the way to nurture happy families. I would never have dreamt of being so on my dignity when our babies were new and the pleasure both DDs took in seeing their father with their precious babes was a joy to us all. DD3 cradled her new nephew for the best part of his first day in this world so that his exhausted parents could try to nap - admittedly with their blessing.I have lovely pics of these but mindful of the unwanted publicity some threads get on FB or Twitter, you will have to take my word for it.
It is not the “first cuddle”which is at issue for me, but the atttitude that somehow this proud grandmother has behaved like Maleficent at Sleeping Beauty’s christening!

"entitled" really? Shocked by the lack of compassion by other GPs on here.

The original thread was because the young mum was very traumatised 6 weeks later. She had had a long and traumatic labour that ended in an emergency c-section. She just wanted the wider family to give her until the next day. MIL was not invited either by her or her DH but arrived, abused her professional position and then invited other family members without the parents' permission. The DIL was struggling to come to terms with a traumatic birth and her MIL had made the situation a lot worse for her.

I would like to see the responses here if a DIL had abused their professional position as a hcp and invited themselves to someone's surgical procedure and thereby accessed confidential medical information.

Two good posts Violet you are absolutely right.

MawBroon - seriously? You see no problem with illegally accessing someones surgery and accessing confidential medical information? You see someone being upset about that "being on their dignity" - that is a big wow.

The DIL was not in a ward or a delivery room - she was in post-surgical recovery where the public do not have access. I am really shocked that you think this is OK

I hate the phrase ‘proud grandmother’ I never felt proud when my dgc were born - what was there to be proud of? I was immensely grateful that everything had gone well. This DIL had every right to decide what she wanted to happen - it’s absolutely not for the MIL to decide she can do what she wants. Had she behaved like a responsible doctor and MIL all she should have cared about was what DIL wanted initially and then afterwards could have offered wise counsel and support which would probably have been gratefully received.

But she wasn't a loving grandmother, was she? She was selfish and thought only of herself.

I was as excited as anyone about my grandchildren's arrival but I absolutely know where the boundaries lie and fully acknowledge that they are not my babies.

'For goodness sake why can’t people see that a family is made up of more than 2 generations and a loving grandmother is someone to cherish. '

Not when the new mom is still having her c section stitched up no. The only person who has priority when they are in theatre, is the person in theatre. Not the loving grandmother who has yes, snuck in and abused her position, uninvited and disregarded her DILs and Sons wishes and wants. The loving grandmothers feelings doesn't trump theirs.

Oh calm down violetfloss!
I had 4 babies by C section and have never once used language like “had them cut out of me”!
No doubt MN will be resounding with anti-MIL-tirades for days to come. Leave them to it.

Cold if the new Mum was being stitched up after surgery GA. or was it an epidural she was NOT in the recovery room.

What a load of self righteous twaddle, I am with you on this MawBroon and yes, bet Mumsnet is seething gleefully.
MIL practically means ‘witch’ on there.?

MawBroon then of course that makes it a lot worse then if the MIL was so selfish to gatecrash an operating theatre. If the DIL chose to report her (which she wasn't going to) the MIL would be losing her job as hospitals take it very seriously when unauthorised people access medical records or procedures. So MIL should be doing some serious grovelling

If the shoe fits. MIL did act "Maleficent at Sleeping Beauty’s christening!"

I, for one, would not allow her near anew baby. Such a grabby attitude.