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When did I get old? Ageism at its best.

(82 Posts)
Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:44:47

After visiting my GP I feel i have aged overnight. Post menopause symptoms are greeted with: these things happen at your age and the latest bowel problem was pronounced as: ladies of your age get..... I want treatment not a declaration of knackerdom and put in the done box. I am only 57. Feeling slightly miffed to say the least. And there I was thinking I looked and feel quite good...... for my age! Anyone else on the receiving end of rude tactless and ageist comments?

emmasnan Tue 17-Oct-17 15:05:24

I was once told I had good gums for my age!

Nonnie Tue 17-Oct-17 15:09:50

NO! My GP treats me as a whole person and never makes me feel any age at all. He listens, is very understanding about my current lack of coping mechanism and when I was not sure about meds to help simply told me he was over ruling me. He did that out of good motivation because I needed to be told!

Nonnie Tue 17-Oct-17 15:12:27

Should have said I am considerably older than you!!

Lynnebo Tue 17-Oct-17 15:16:31

My best friends husband warned me about opportunist thieves preying on elderly ladies the other night. I am 59, he is 58...... ( and I might add not as good a shape as I am!!)
My reply was not very ladylike!

BlueBelle Tue 17-Oct-17 15:42:13

Duplicate thread

Baggs Tue 17-Oct-17 15:49:33

Why are people so hung up on being regarded as old? Why do people over-react when, say, a GP tells them something that is true about their age-group?

Physical aging happens. It happens at slightly different rates to different individuals but it happens to everyone. Certain health issues get more common because of aging.

If you (anyone) have a problem with accepting this fact cheerfully then in my view you haven't "grown up" quite as much as you've aged.

Greyduster Tue 17-Oct-17 16:07:44

Last year I ruptured the ligaments in my knee while out walking on the moors. I went to get it Xrayed and the doctor told me “the joint is in great shape for someone of your age”. I told him that it was a pity, then, that the rest of me was completely knackered! I’m 71 and have had more than a few age related difficulties in the past couple of years but I still think I’m pretty good for my age - pity I don't look as good as I feel!

Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:17:53

Quite right Baggs, I have issues with getting older and will fight it as childishly and disgracefully as I can. x

paddyann Tue 17-Oct-17 17:25:22

I have no intention of "growing up" any more than i have ,I'll stay as young as possible for as long as possible .

Baggs Tue 17-Oct-17 17:50:07

My point is really that it's not ageist to say what is true about human aging. That's all the GP mentioned in the OP was doing. Of course it won't apply in exactly the same way to everyone.

I think people too often call stuff ageist that isn't.

It's not nice to feel one has been put in a box but it's possible one's feelings are mistaken. A generalisation is a generalisation is a generalisation. Big deal, not. Shrug, move on, and act as young as you like Daisydoo smile

M0nica Tue 17-Oct-17 18:56:22

I have no issues with getting old. I have issues with medical experts who use it as an excuse for not investigating and treating eminently treatable complaints.

When DH developed the first signs of diabetes, in particular falling asleep a lot, even at work, the GP dismissed it as being due to him still commuting up to London most days for work at his age (he was 58). When he saw another GP in the practice, on the recommendation of a friend. He was tested and diagnosed with diabetes within minutes of telling the GP his problems.

Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:32:16

Yes Monica it is the dismissal that irks... because of my age. It shouldn't matter how old anyone is, all concerns should be taken seriously regardless of age.

Errycarr Tue 17-Oct-17 21:10:20

When I was diagnosed with diabetes 2, all I was told by my GP was that it was my own fault. So be it, but would have been better for me if I felt I'd had some support. Oh well..... if you've got a supportive GP then be very grateful.

Barmyoldbat Wed 18-Oct-17 08:22:11

Monica I am with you on this. My OH nearly died at 59 because the dr kept telling him it was his age. In the end when a young new dr thought no, this is not quite right and low and behold he had a kidney problem that usually younger people get (a famous rugby player had it and died, can't remember his name) and was rushed into hospital for a 4 week stay and it was even touch and go for a kidney transplant. so no I would not take the statement it's your age about a bowel problem

Anya Wed 18-Oct-17 08:31:39

Not good (as Trump would say) when GPS can’t be bothered to look beyond the age of a patient and therefore miss symptoms of actual disease.

However I’m all for GPS being a bit more honest and telling patients, as an example, they are too fat and risk developing type 2 diabetes if they don’t change their eating habits.

Pamaga Wed 18-Oct-17 09:48:07

The nurse at our medical group told me that 70 was the new 50 so cheered me up somewhat!

Granfran Wed 18-Oct-17 09:55:06

The point is none of us need reminding how old we are ~ we have a birth certificate that tells us and a quick check in the mirror confirms it. Mostly we wouldn’t want to be 20 again unless we knew what we know now. But we are all different ~ grateful to be here but different and doing the best we can. Have to admit I never went back to the chiropodist who told me my feet were not bad for “a woman my age” fifteen years ago 👣

loopyloo Wed 18-Oct-17 09:56:18

Think we should fight it and aim to look as glamorous and smart as we can. Hence I need to lose 2 stone.
I do find though that people don't notice me if I am in a queue or a crowd of people.
I am a quiet introvert but don't like being completely disregarded.

nananorfolk Wed 18-Oct-17 10:01:53

When having a scan of my lower regions after experiencing some pain, I was told by the (middle-aged FEMALE) scanperson that my ovaries were "withered". Wow!! I was walking on air after that comment, as you can imagine. As always I thought of some suitably cutting response after I arrived home.

dragonfly46 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:05:56

I doctor takes more notice of our symptoms because of the age we are - over 70 as more things are potentially serious. She was also very supportive over my stress relating to caring for two elderly parents.

mags1234 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:06:12

Most frustrating. I get it’s ur age 68 all the time, but mental illnesses are worse, no matter what physical non related illness I go with they say it’s just the way you’re feeling! I now go to one dr for physical problems only and one other one for mental health issues. Frustrating, condescending!

Mads Wed 18-Oct-17 10:06:40

Think your doctor needs re educating on how to be more tactful with people. You are a 'Spring chicken' wish I was that age again. I would not accept the comment re bowel problems. There is also plenty of help out there for ladies of a certain age, This was my best read when I had problems.
Natural Solutions to Menopause Paperback
by Marilyn Glenville (Author)

hereshoping Wed 18-Oct-17 10:07:45

I had my first baby at 32 and was described on my medical notes as an elderly primate.

Niobe Wed 18-Oct-17 10:07:59

I am often told that I look young for my age but I always remind myself that all my innards are 65 years old and are now showing some signs of my age.