When did I get old? Ageism at its best.

Esspee So was I. I lived in a new town and most off the women at the ante natal clinic were under 20. When the midwife described me as an elderly primagravida, I turned to her and said 'I thought I would grow up before I had children'. Her reply was 'I wish more of them would do that'.

DDiL had first child at 38 and an elderly prima gravida was a women over 40.

Hereshoping, please tell me you were an elderly primagravid! I was labelled as such at the ripe old age of 28 - almost normal these days but old in the 1970's.
Mads, the natural solution to menopause is oestrogen replacement (HRT). I was working today with a 20something young lady. During our afternoon break she almost nodded off a few times. Tomorrow she will be knackered, me? I am doing the same job yet again, and looking forward to it. I'm 68.
Saw a new doctor last visit. He started by asking me what age I was. I said "I can't see the relevance of that question". Needless to say I am not going to accept an appointment with him in the future.

I was told a couple of years ago, when I complained to my doctor of back pain 'oh Lorraine, at our age you have to expect a few aches and pains'. I was 59 at the time. Another doctor is now referring me to a specialist physiotherapist to see if I need an X-ray/MR Scan.

Went to a different GP and this time got a referral for a colonoscopy and no mention of my age. Thank you to all those who gave advice. I feel far happier now I have been taken seriously by a GP and getting things looked at.

There was no actual mention of a lack of offered treatment in the OP. It was implied but not stated. I don't think we have all the necessary information because the OP just fired off a rant about ageism.

I've known doctors say similar things about age-related health problems (for young children, for teenagers, for women during their fertile years, and for post-menopausal women) and then explain what treatment is available and/or what one can do to help oneself. They are giving information both when they comment on age-relatedness and when they explain treatment (if there is any).

If the OP was actually "fobbed off" with what she calls an ageist comment then she should be complaining to the practice and higher rather than on Gransnet. Well... maybe as well as on Gransnet.

But until she states categorically that she was offered no help whatsoever (advice counts just as much as a prescription), then I don't accept that the doc was necessarily being ageist.

Saggi I do not think anyone doesn't accept the natural ageing process, nor the need for self care, but that isn't the complaint. It is having health problems fobbed off because of one's age and not treated that is so ageist.

Take a 3 year old to the surgery with an ear infection and have it fobbed of as 'to be expected at the child's age' and not be offered treatment would be considered outrageous.
The reaction should be similar if an older persons ills are similarly dismissed

Its one thing to accept what your age is, its another thing if your age is used as an excuse not to treat or refer.

Baggs.... I'm with you on this.... At a certain age 'stuff happens'... it's just like a toddler falling and scraping hands and knees all the time....it's what they do but they grow out of it. We grow into difficulties. It is often age related and why that upsets anyone to be told so is lost on me. I am 68 , walk at least 3 miles a day and swim 3 times a week! If you don't want 'stuff' to happen... try and help yourselves a little. I also had two strokes... one at 35 and the other at 47. And also a couple of TIA's. If I'd been told THEY were age related I might've pulled a face!! I'm fitter now than I've been most of my adult life. Perhaps I had all my bad luck early!!

..........and I was an elderly multiple at 36!

See another GP.

I took my dh with me on my last visit for moral support. I have an underactive thyroid and all the issues that come with it. My GP said we are living longer and that’s the problem, people are dying from the Hiroshima bomb, people are shooting each other in America and 1 in 3 of us will get cancer.
We are still trying to work out what any of that has to to with my medical condition.
This is the same gp who has been treating me for depression for 11 years. Maybe he wanted me to go home and reduce the population.... looking for a new doctor.....

Maybe your GP was trying to say he did not want to give you any treatment/meds as this was normal for your age bracket. Personally I avoid meds where possible. You feel different at different ages.

My own GP said with a flourish when I started early menopause "Yes, it's all drying up" Thanks a bunch.

I was told when I had just miscarried at four+ months "you're nearly thirty, better tell your husband to get his finger out"
The nurse apologized for him after he had gone.
Still in shock and it being the 70's I never had the nerve to
comment on his rudeness and lack of empathy.

I'm not too bothered about it but when I went for a check-up at the dermatologists I asked him to particularly check 2 moles I had just discovered. He looked a little sheepish as he said that some might say they were just a symptom of my age. I was most taken aback as they were on the underside of my breasts and those boobs are 14 years younger than the rest of me!

Should have been primigravida ,first time mum!

What concerns me with us “ golden girls” is that most of us don’t want to be going to the Dr every month with various ailments. We all know that we are now going to get issues of one kind or another, but how many times do you read or hear, if only it had been diagnosed earlier so .... Unless we are able to pay for private annual scans it’s all a bit hit and miss. It’s hard not to use Dr Google and self diagnose !

I must be lucky - not one of the GPs in our practice has mentioned my age in connection with any of the ailments I present. Nor has any of the consultants at the local hospital whom I have to see from time to time. And nobody suggested, when I had a nasty fall that it might be age-related. I'll be 77 next month.

On the subject of GPs, I live in a rural practice with 5 doctors and we have gone from being able to get an appointment in 2-3 days to 2-3 weeks. This happened very abruptly about 3 months ago. Does anyone else have to wait so long - only to be told its their age ...

When I last went to my dentist he told me that my teeth were showing signs of wear - I did remind him that I was 61 and had had my teeth for 50+ years, ate a healthy diet of raw veg, fruit, nuts and the like and really - what did he expect! He laughed. I am sure he meant well bless him.

Some GP's are the pits! I haven't experienced it myself yet but my father was always being fobbed off by his GP - to the point that he wasn't asked to sit down even to explain his symptoms. He was more or less told he couldn't expect anything else at his age which was only 72 at time. He got upset, I got furious and wrote a letter of complaint! I mentioned Care Commissions Council - now am not an expert and didn't even really know what this was but next thing we were called to a meeting at the Surgery where the GP and several other health professionals were there. Result: Dad got amazing treatment and was never fobbed off as an 'age' thing again.

I am now having similar problems with my mum who was mortified when we had to go for this meeting with dad so she won't allow me to complain. BUT I do feel if it is justified we should complain, no matter what age.

Beautiful poem Ethelwulf. Will frame it and hang it on my kitchen wall.

ethelwulf, I love your poem!

I visited the doctor to ask about my menopause symptoms he said "In your natural state you would have had 17 pregnancies and be dead by now"

I was once told by a pharmacist whose advice I sought for natural help with menopause symptoms, that it was going to be downhill all they way from now on! I did ask him if he'd already reached the bottom of the hill himself and maybe I'd catch up with him one day. Horrid little man.

When I was in my late 40’s I suffered from a severe bout of depression. As I was recovering I decided to apply for university. I asked my (rather young) psychologist if he thought it was a good idea. His reply was that at my age it didn’t really matter, it wasn’t as if I would ever use it! I felt about 100 lol! Still I went on to do a degree and graduated in 2010.