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When did I get old? Ageism at its best.

(83 Posts)
Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:44:47

After visiting my GP I feel i have aged overnight. Post menopause symptoms are greeted with: these things happen at your age and the latest bowel problem was pronounced as: ladies of your age get..... I want treatment not a declaration of knackerdom and put in the done box. I am only 57. Feeling slightly miffed to say the least. And there I was thinking I looked and feel quite good...... for my age! Anyone else on the receiving end of rude tactless and ageist comments?

blueberry1 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:41:29

At 62,I often feel at least 10 years older due to disability problems.So I was delighted yesterday when a health specialist that I see regularly but who is leaving the department wished me well and said he could never believe that I was "that old" because I didn't look it!

Horatia Wed 18-Oct-17 10:33:51

I don't think people want reminding of their age because older people are often treated as second class citizens. Why some believe they shouldn't be allowed to vote as they might show experience and wisdom they don't recognise.

KatyK Wed 18-Oct-17 10:31:58

A neighbour of mine, who was 90 at the time, was miffed that her GP referred to her as elderly smile She's still going strong at 93. 57 is young, Daisydoo - well it is compared to me anyway!

pewsey Wed 18-Oct-17 10:26:54

I had the same response......in the end I started to educate myself re alternative health.....constipation..easily remedied by increasing my intake of water.....8 glasses. Through day the day...not tea, coffee or alcohol...water. As well as the teas etc etc. aches and pains.....cut out everything which has flour in it...not easy but is possible and stopped eating sweet things apart from fresh fruit.......result? No more pain, Bowles moved every day....brain fog disappeared, much more energy...feel so much better. And no pills, potions or chemicals taken into my body.

DaisyL Wed 18-Oct-17 10:17:03

My mother used to say that once you get to a certain age you should start adding on years, so that people tell you how wonderful you are for your age. I'm only 73 but sometimes quite tempted to tell people I'm 80 to see there reaction. Of course the worry would be if there wasn't one!

Legs55 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:16:07

I am 62, lots of health problems but have never felt "dismissed" due to my age, I know I need to lose weight, no I don't need GP to lecture me.

As my DM is nearly 89, apart from not being able to walk far, less energy & slowly failing eyesight she's no major health problems. Hope I follow in her footsteps, she takes no prisonersgrin

Kim19 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:14:50

I have absolutely no problem with 'being' old - quite amazed and delighted I've survived this long - my problem is with 'feeling' old. My head tends to disassociate me with elderly when it comes up in either an article or conversation. This is not an escape (my exterior fools no one!) but rather a default. Try not to say this in company because, to a man(!!), everyone assumes I'm trying to deny the ageing process. I ask you, short of surgical intervention (much too cowardly) or clever make-up (beyond my budget) why would I even attempt to look younger. I guess my generally happy heart and avoiding mirrors keeps me feeling 'young'. At the end of the day, does it really matter?

Niobe Wed 18-Oct-17 10:07:59

I am often told that I look young for my age but I always remind myself that all my innards are 65 years old and are now showing some signs of my age.

hereshoping Wed 18-Oct-17 10:07:45

I had my first baby at 32 and was described on my medical notes as an elderly primate.

Mads Wed 18-Oct-17 10:06:40

Think your doctor needs re educating on how to be more tactful with people. You are a 'Spring chicken' wish I was that age again. I would not accept the comment re bowel problems. There is also plenty of help out there for ladies of a certain age, This was my best read when I had problems.
Natural Solutions to Menopause Paperback
by Marilyn Glenville (Author)

mags1234 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:06:12

Most frustrating. I get it’s ur age 68 all the time, but mental illnesses are worse, no matter what physical non related illness I go with they say it’s just the way you’re feeling! I now go to one dr for physical problems only and one other one for mental health issues. Frustrating, condescending!

dragonfly46 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:05:56

I doctor takes more notice of our symptoms because of the age we are - over 70 as more things are potentially serious. She was also very supportive over my stress relating to caring for two elderly parents.

nananorfolk Wed 18-Oct-17 10:01:53

When having a scan of my lower regions after experiencing some pain, I was told by the (middle-aged FEMALE) scanperson that my ovaries were "withered". Wow!! I was walking on air after that comment, as you can imagine. As always I thought of some suitably cutting response after I arrived home.

loopyloo Wed 18-Oct-17 09:56:18

Think we should fight it and aim to look as glamorous and smart as we can. Hence I need to lose 2 stone.
I do find though that people don't notice me if I am in a queue or a crowd of people.
I am a quiet introvert but don't like being completely disregarded.

Granfran Wed 18-Oct-17 09:55:06

The point is none of us need reminding how old we are ~ we have a birth certificate that tells us and a quick check in the mirror confirms it. Mostly we wouldn’t want to be 20 again unless we knew what we know now. But we are all different ~ grateful to be here but different and doing the best we can. Have to admit I never went back to the chiropodist who told me my feet were not bad for “a woman my age” fifteen years ago ?

Pamaga Wed 18-Oct-17 09:48:07

The nurse at our medical group told me that 70 was the new 50 so cheered me up somewhat!

Anya Wed 18-Oct-17 08:31:39

Not good (as Trump would say) when GPS can’t be bothered to look beyond the age of a patient and therefore miss symptoms of actual disease.

However I’m all for GPS being a bit more honest and telling patients, as an example, they are too fat and risk developing type 2 diabetes if they don’t change their eating habits.

Barmyoldbat Wed 18-Oct-17 08:22:11

Monica I am with you on this. My OH nearly died at 59 because the dr kept telling him it was his age. In the end when a young new dr thought no, this is not quite right and low and behold he had a kidney problem that usually younger people get (a famous rugby player had it and died, can't remember his name) and was rushed into hospital for a 4 week stay and it was even touch and go for a kidney transplant. so no I would not take the statement it's your age about a bowel problem

Errycarr Tue 17-Oct-17 21:10:20

When I was diagnosed with diabetes 2, all I was told by my GP was that it was my own fault. So be it, but would have been better for me if I felt I'd had some support. Oh well..... if you've got a supportive GP then be very grateful.

Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:32:16

Yes Monica it is the dismissal that irks... because of my age. It shouldn't matter how old anyone is, all concerns should be taken seriously regardless of age.

M0nica Tue 17-Oct-17 18:56:22

I have no issues with getting old. I have issues with medical experts who use it as an excuse for not investigating and treating eminently treatable complaints.

When DH developed the first signs of diabetes, in particular falling asleep a lot, even at work, the GP dismissed it as being due to him still commuting up to London most days for work at his age (he was 58). When he saw another GP in the practice, on the recommendation of a friend. He was tested and diagnosed with diabetes within minutes of telling the GP his problems.

Baggs Tue 17-Oct-17 17:50:07

My point is really that it's not ageist to say what is true about human aging. That's all the GP mentioned in the OP was doing. Of course it won't apply in exactly the same way to everyone.

I think people too often call stuff ageist that isn't.

It's not nice to feel one has been put in a box but it's possible one's feelings are mistaken. A generalisation is a generalisation is a generalisation. Big deal, not. Shrug, move on, and act as young as you like Daisydoo smile

paddyann Tue 17-Oct-17 17:25:22

I have no intention of "growing up" any more than i have ,I'll stay as young as possible for as long as possible .

Daisydoo2 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:17:53

Quite right Baggs, I have issues with getting older and will fight it as childishly and disgracefully as I can. x

Greyduster Tue 17-Oct-17 16:07:44

Last year I ruptured the ligaments in my knee while out walking on the moors. I went to get it Xrayed and the doctor told me “the joint is in great shape for someone of your age”. I told him that it was a pity, then, that the rest of me was completely knackered! I’m 71 and have had more than a few age related difficulties in the past couple of years but I still think I’m pretty good for my age - pity I don't look as good as I feel!