I realise this may sound a bit pathetic

Go for it gal! I have found old school friends on Facebook and although I have never met any of them in person, it's nice to see how their lives have panned out. None of them have suggested we meet up so they obviously have no desire to see me either! That's fine by me!

Be brave and make that contact. The worst that can happen is she won't respond. People are so stubborn when it comes to petty arguments or differences of opinion and maybe you both wish it didn't happen but don't want to look weak by making the first move. Yet making the first move shows such strength of character. And tell her that you can't even remember why you parted ways. Maybe she can't, either. As a practising counsellor, I have seen this scenario so many times and making the first move is worth a shot.

It'll be nice to hear how it goes for you.

Denise.

Through social media mostly (Friends Reunited and Facebook) I have got in touch with old school/uni friends , old boyfriends, and a cousin, who I haven't seen for 43 years. I have no ulterior motive, eg rekindling an old flame, as I'm happily married and have 3 married children and also lovely grandchildren. I also had no expectations of any of the contacts becoming close friends. I have had mixed results, but in particular I am delighted that my cousin is very pleased to have the contact with me, and we are getting on really well, exchanging news about family and hobbies. Meeting up with her would be great one day. Only one former boyfriend has maintained contact, and he is happy to swap news about his family etc. Some of my girlfriends have kept in touch, some are not interested, and that doesn't bother me. I think, overall, getting back in touch has been good for me, helped me to see that "where I am" is fine, and has reinforced my general happiness. So I'd say 'go for it', you have nothing to lose

I managed to find my best friend only last week after a 20 year search! She said she was happy to hear from me and sent me her phone numbers...so she must want hear from me! So give it a go...nothing to lose. On the subject of old boyfriends....I met up with some Friends Reunited folks a few years ago and one of the men in the group confessed his love for me from age 13 to 20 years old. I never knew!....the silly thing is I quite fancied him for the same period of time but he never let me know. However, he hadn't worn very well over the years so I think I had a lucky escape!

jennymolly I know that your post wasn't really to do with the original post but she has had so much good advice now that she doesn't really need any more, but you need hugs and sympathy.
How dare people decide things for you. If your horrible brother and sister knew that you couldn't afford the holiday...why didn't they perhaps pay for you. You have been so ill as well. I am afraid that your sister sounds a real meany. She has so much and yet she couldn't spare you a bit of the affection she and her twin have?
Unfortunately people within a family can be so different as I know to my own cost.
I really don't know how you can contact your Cruella again without getting another smack in the face. You could leave the door open a crack and just say that you are sorry about the way things turned out( which you are) and say that your door is always open and you love her ( if it's true)
Anyway, here is a imaginary bunch of flowers, a gin and ton, and lots of hugs, as you deserve them. You could always make a doll and stick a few pins in it. Lol

I had a school friend for ten years until she left to go to finishing school and after a year or so we lost touch. We met again by chance when we were in our late thirties and then exchanged Xmas cards, occasional phone calls and met a few times for lunch. I encouraged her to go to a school reunion but she didn't enjoy it. She complained about some of the other old girls being rude to her.

Last year I didn't hear from her at Xmas so I tried to call her twice but she clearly didn't want to speak and so I emailled her but she hasn't replied. I suspect this may be because she has "come down in the world" after a very priviledged childhood. I always tried to take an interest in her life, but I have to accept this relationship has run its course. I could contact her sister to check she is OK, but she may regard that as an intrusion. I can't decide.

I, not o

I sat by someone I wrongly thought of as my best friend in junior school. She dropped me like a stone at secondary school (we were in different but equal forms) and her best friend there bullied me for the whole time we were at the school. I guess I just wasn’t her kind of person. She turned up at the same college as me a year after o started. We never spoke.
Meeting her a few times with other friends about ten years ago we chatted quite amiably of this and that! Odd.

I always kept in touch with my best friend from school anyway even though we live far apart now and hardly meet but would love to be in touch with others from my school. I did put feelers out to some on Friends Reunited but, unfortunately, they never replied.
On the other hand, an old 'friend' whom I used to play with occasionally near by where I lived for a time as a child keeps trying to contact me through various social media. She gushingly writes how desperate she is to rekindle the friendship. She used to bully me so I ignore her requests. She's obviously forgotten her past behaviour!!!

I agree w judypark. You will both have changed and your history together is just that. But no harm in having a go, just be prepared to be disappointed.

One old school friend of mine contacted me after we lost touch for 20 years, and we resumed our friendship and are in regular contact, meet ups etc
Another friend did the same after about 15 years, but meeting with her a couple of times I soon realised that we actually didn’t have much in common anymore to sustain a friendship, so I didn’t pursue it any further.

I've just done this and contacted a friend from nearly 40 years ago. We lost touch when I committed the cardinal sin of going out with a chap that she'd been seeing and was still keen on. They'd only gone out for a couple of weeks and I did ask if she minded. She said no but of course she minded very much and she didn't want to hang out afterwards. He and I didn't last much longer than she had but the damage was done.
I've recently found her on FB so messaged her and we had an online chat and are meeting for coffee in a couple of weeks. She still lives locally so I really hope we get on as I was so fond of her back then.

I contacted an old school friend through FB , I was a bit nervous about sending a friend request but she answered straight away and sent me a message. We now meet up every few months as we live some distance apart. We have loads of interests in common and it is great to have a lunch and a chat and go to a gallery or exhibition together. Through her I’ve also met up with another old school friend who actually lives quite near me and we regularly meet up for lunch. You can’t have too many friends , so go for it!

I would contact her. My husband contacted long list uni friends and it's been a great success. We all met up and the wives get on really well. We gave gad somelong weekends away as a group of eight, and are all going away together at New Year. Don't pass up the opportunity, it could open doors to new friendships!

Jennymolly I have just read your post and really do feel for you. I too have a brother and sister who refuse to have any contact with me and they have done so for almost 20 years now. They are both younger than me, my brother is 5.5 years younger and my sister is 13 years younger and I was very protective of them when they were younger as we grew up in a volatile environment and were often physically abused. I had a second brother who was 22 months younger than me and died suddenly some 11 years ago when he was 50. Even the loss of our brother and both of our parents has not lead to any contact from my brother and sister despite my efforts. I kept trying to maintain contact for more than 15 years and realised that it was having a detrimental effect on my health and regrettably decided that I had to stop trying for the sake of my sanity, my health and my own family.

I think that I agree with persistentdonor in that you must try not to agonise too much about the situation. Maybe maintain contact through birthday and Christmas cards? Look after yourself.

Go for it! As the others say the worst that can happen is that she doesn't reply, or that she does, but you later decide you have nothing in common anymore.

I recently decided not to go to a school reunion feeling the journey would be too expensive and that as I had only been at that school for three years the others probably had forgotten me 50 years later.

But I have been pleasantly surprised by how many of my old classmates do remember me and have e-mailed since the first group mail went out.

Like so many others I would urge to make contact with your old friend. I have done so (mostly with school friends). and I have not regretted doing so even though one or two have not responded. That is their choice and I respect that, but I was pleased that I had tried to renew our association. For the most part the contact has been so rewarding for all of us involved in reconnecting.

Bluebelle, I think you'll find all squids are pretty damp! As for the OP, I agree with everyone who says go for it. Good luck!

I've been going to my school reunions every 5 years since 1997 (40-year anniversary intake) and each time I'd see a girl who terrified me when we were all there together. She and I were never friends, she was with the cool, confident crowd and I was keen on hiding in corners and not being noticed. But she always seemed quite pleased to see me, and after this year's reunion when we'd had such a good chat, I decided to contact her. We've now had two really super get-togethers where we've talked for hours, and have come to the conclusion that we've missed 60 years of friendship just because my surname began with a "D" and hers with a "W" - the school put us into classrooms according to the alphabet in our first year. But, better late than never and we plan to meet regularly from now on.

I got in touch with an old friend who I hadn't seen since the seventies. I hoped we could catch up by email but she asked for my phone number straight away. She then started phoning, and just droning on and on, all about her family and her daughter's horrid mother in law. She had zero interest in me. In fact I didn't even get to tell her I had two grown up children. To my shame I didn't reply when she sent me a bunch of photos, and she stopped phoning. Just saying .... people change.

I too contacted old friends via f/b and friends reunited. So glad I did even though we had lost contact for over 50 years. Might not have as much in common as all though years ago, but lovely to see how they have got on and to see their families etc.

Your friend will probably be delighted to hear from you. I had two dear friends from childhood and kept in touch until we moved away too far to visit. I trained as a teacher and started a new career at the age of forty which took up most of my time, along with grandchildren and caring for my mother. Since I retired 12 years ago I kept thinking I should contact them but it was on the back burner until three years ago when I started to search for them both on the Internet. I was devastated to find out that the youngest of the three of us passed away six years ago. My other friend was not on Facebook and was ex directory but I found her address from 192.com and just sent her a card with my contact details saying I would be pleased to hear from her if she wanted to contact me. As soon as she received the card she phoned me and I arranged to visit her as she was housebound and in very poor health. I visited her regularly and we spent many happy hours together reminiscing, never at any time was there any awkwardness just pleasure in each other’s company once again. Her health deteriorated over the past few months and my visits were to hospital rather than her house. Sadly she passed away at the age of 73 and yesterday I attended her funeral to say a final goodbye. My only regret is that I didn’t act soon enough to reunite with our. other friend.

Go for it Petitpois! I was in a similar situation few years ago. Now we are in contact. Not the same as it was before but it's ok. Also have re-connected with long lost childhood friends on Facebook. Its nice. Good luck.

Jennymolly you must be hurt beyond measure I imagine, as I have a similar relationship with my siblings, but it is your own life that you must bend to make you happy, and people who don't want to fit with you are not worth agonising over.

I have a brother and sister 1 year younger than me. I was 70 last summer and they were 70 this summer. My brother lives in Canada and sister lives 200 miles away from me. I'm in remission from bowel and liver cancer and doing well altho my initial prognosis was not good. My sister last rang me in Jan (when I was quite low)saying our brother was possibly coming over to celebrate their birthday. I was overjoyed and said we could have a proper joint celebration. She said she'd ring me each fortnight. That was the last I heard from her. In May I tried to get in touch but no reply. I then saw on my brothers FB page that that the four were on holiday in Croatia. I hadn't even known that brother was this side of the Atlantic. On their return they didn't contact me or reply to my posts. Sisters daughter then sent an invite for two weeks time which we couldnt attend. I sent cards and presents and then my sister rang (first time since Jan) to thank me for her present. I asked her why I hadn't been kept in the loop abt the arrangements and when my brother was in the country and she got very defensive and said she hadnt told me abt the holiday as I couldn't have afforded it. I said it wasn't abt the holiday but the fact that they kept everything from me and consequently my brother had no time to see me. She then said that I was just his sister and she was his twin which was more important. She then said she was getting very angry with me and hung up. That was June and despite me leaving messages on her phone and emails she hasn't replied. I hate bad feeling. Should I just leave it?