Do you believe in bad luck and how to change it

When I complain to my DH about all the bad stuff that's happened in our family and to me he says 'luck of the draw - what's the point of complaining'. He's had cancer and gruelling treatment and I never once heard him complain. The problem is when you get trouble after trouble it can knock your confidence and you find it hard to keep bouncing back. I also get slightly bitter Nonnie when I see (sometimes not very nice) people sailing through it all.

I have recently been thinking about karma and the saying that what goes around comes around so what did I do that was so £&%$^ awful in my younger years?

Yes, I have a wonderful close family and 2 amazing DiLs but other parts of my life are beyond reason. The only reason I am still living is because I couldn't put my family through what I am going through with the loss of my son and the bitterness of his wife. Luck, bad luck, who knows but I do know that some very selfish people, completely lacking in empathy never seem to have anything bad happen to them. Bitter me? You bet i am

It's true some people seem to sail through life others seem to get nothing but problem after problem that's just how it is .try to look at the positives like your oh coming home hope you get several positives in a cluster now.

Some people bring ‘bad luck’ on themselves by sheer stupidity. But events like you, and others, mention mumski are just the sad events that can happen to any of us.

mumski - you may find it helpful to go to see a counsellor or therapist (possibly through your GP). Talking things through with a professional can be very helpful. If you don't fancy that, or it's not possible for any reason, you might set aside 5 - 10 minutes a day to sit quietly and meditate. This is NOT anything complicated, or necessarily religious or spiritual - just time to relax your mind, &, after a few sessions, start to introduce some positive messages to yourself - 'I hope for', 'I deserve good things', 'I will be happy again'. Hope this helps. Very best wishes to you & your family.

Bless you, you really have been through the mill haven't you!
My life has been pretty dreadful over the last decade, and if our lives are planned by some cosmic force, I think it's about time he went for retraining! But, I try and be positive, it could most certainly have been a while lot worse, and for that I'm grateful. One step at a time, one day at a time, one minute at a time if needs be. You can't change the past, but you can change how the past governs how you face the future, and a lot of your future is in how you look at things. No more woe is me......and I'm not accusing you of that. But much more of there is the future.......bring it on! I always think that my next life will be bloody fantastic to make up for a lot of crap in this one. May I wish you the same for yours.

So sorry you are having such a rotten time Mumski. I believe we all have a period when we are engulfed by awfulness and unfortunately you are experiencing yours now. It WILL get better, it really will, I'm afraid you just have to grit your teeth and press on, don't look over your shoulder for something else creeping up on you, just forward and you will get there. On a lighter note, when things went wrong, my grandmother used to bake a cake in an eggshell. She said fairies would never stay in a house where there was such meanness. Did it work? Well, she thought so! Best wishes xx

Mumski, you have had an awful year but things will change. 3 years ago I had a terrible time and then last year when things were looking up I lost the 3 closest people who had known me most of my life. But this year has been much happier. So make the most of your husband's recovery. Money isn't everything but things are bound to look up. So keep your chin up and be positive

I know some will disagree but these times when you can't cope but you must - this is what religion is for. Helps to feel you are part of something bigger than just you. And to know that things do change. X (Smile and Hug)

I went thro some bad times and was convinced that even the light at the end of the tunnel was another train coming to squash me ! Even now when everything is fine, I sometimes feel it’s a lull before a storm, however, I have trained my thought process now to just enjoy peace and happiness. Life is a roller coaster as they say ? and when it rains we have to learn to dance in it ! One of my birthday cards said, when life gives you lemons, stick a gin in it !!

My FiL used to say "life is not a bowl of cherries", we all experience ups & downs in life, being a Pesimist or an Optimist reflects on the way you deal with the bad times & the good. I'm an Optimist, always look on the bright side, my attitude is to look for a solution when things are bad, I realise not every-one can do this. to cheer you up mumski

* Mumski - Mean not Humpty - Doh!!!!

Agree Mumski, death and illness are all part of life. Not many people escape bad episodes in their lives. When it all comes at once, its hard to swallow.

I always tried to think 'there are people worse off than me'! However, after meeting a guy who had a really bad accident and was left quadriplegic, doubly incontinent, on so much medication he needed round the clock care and whose wife left him because she couldn't cope, hearing HIM say "there are people worse off than me!" made me wonder.....just WHO is it that can say "there is no-one worse off than me?" I took a leaf out of his book and look for positives.

I hope it all turns around for the better for you Humpty - am sure it will.

Greengage ,that is so true. When I was working as a nurse I used to go to work feeling fed up about something, but then realised it was nothing to what some people were facing.

How many times have I said "No one ever said life was going to be easy, and by golly, sometimes it isn't". But I have also found that however bad one's own situation, you can always find someone who is having it tougher.

I agree with others that there is really no such thing as bad luck, its just that randomly distributed bad things sometimes happen all at once.

We've had several premature deaths amongst our friends and family in recent times, very sad but all you can really do is to deal with your grief and appreciate that at least you're still around.

And there is always the idea that in ten years time you may well find that the problems you have now will be behind you and forgotten.

I believe that quite a lot of feeling low has to do with optimism and pessimist: I tend to think that if things are very bad they can only get better - others seem to wonder what will go wrong next. If you give up when bad things happen then other problems tend to pile on top of them. If you deal with your problems as they come along it is easier to keep them in proportion. I do appreciate that for people with severe financial problems this would sound trite, as it is so hard to find solutions - please forgive me if this is your position.

I don't believe in luck- good or bad; things just happen. If people are older they are likely to die sooner. If people are ill it can be because of various factors including those which are self inflicted. If people lose their driving licence maybe through bad driving practices then that is not bad luck, it's the law. If it's because of a medical condition then it's to ensure safety on the road for all users and so on.

Sometimes people's attitude to life can lead them more down the path of thinking everything that happens to them is bad luck but the reverse, of course, is also true.

Mumski it's hard at times but I do find comfort in difficult times in the thought "this too shall pass".

No loosing your parents if it’s in old age is part and parcel of life.
I don’t know if it is bad luck. I know when my son died having been murdered I felt I must have done something terrible in my life but you think like that because your in a state of mind not thinking straight and it’s like a trauma.
What’s happened to you is that your going through a tough time but it will get better and you will look back and think how did we make it through that but honestly you will. In the meantime just be a family and be there for one another.

I’m with you MOnica.No such thing as luck good or bad. Right or wrong place in the right or wrong time is all there us. Parents dying isn’t bad luck , it’s a fact if life.Your daughter losing licence ( you don’t say for what offence/ illness) but obviously thought necessary by authorities.Your husband is recovered that could be construed as ‘good luck’ by you couldn’t it? I hope your daughter also recovers and regains her license soon. Things will hopefully turn around for you soon...but luck won’t have anything to do with it. Be brave.?flowers

musmski - I agree with others here that there is no such thing as good or bad luck.
I expect even those who appear to have "good luck" have also been through "diffiult" periods when things have gone wrong. It's just that you haven't got to hear about them.
When one thing after another goes wrong it is bound to make you feel vulnerable when they occur one after another over a period of time.
At such times, I have found it helpful to visualise the globe turning on its axis and saying to myself "While the Earth is turning, nothing is permanent. The good things are out there waiting to happen." I have also found the song "You'll Never Walk Alone" very comforting as well.
I hope this helps.

One of the most frequent moans by ex-pupils used to be "It's not fair!" I had to tell them that often, no, life isn't fair and we just have to go with it. Easier said than done when everything keeps hitting you time after time. I've had years like that, mumski and the thing that keeps us going is the mantra I've always used: "This day (month/year), like all days, will pass."

It seems as if some people have luck and others don't, but it's just the way life hits us in different ways, and we have to go with the flow, knowing that eventually things will change.

Not sure about bad or good luck, its life, at present we are having a "not so good time", but it will change I know, and things will be brighter.

It’s just life and it’s your turn, we all seem to go through bad times and you just have to ride it through and eventually you will come out the other side

Go forward, don't dwell on it. You can't change what has already happened.
When things go wrong, I do my best to think about it differently. Having a rough time myself at the moment, one thing after another, so I understand your fears, but I try and see these things as temporary challenges to be overcome and think of positive ways to deal with them, rather than let them get on top of me. I also find writing down one column of the positives and one of the negatives usually lifts my spirits and gives me direction, as the positives more often than not outweigh the negatives. If there are more negatives, I tackle them to become positives. I don't believe in the "luck" thing, its about our own or somebody else's actions that create our circumstances.