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Do you believe in bad luck and how to change it

(42 Posts)
mumski Fri 17-Nov-17 13:38:23

I feel a bit vulnerable asking the question but do you believe in bad luck and if so how it can be "turned around"? We've ha such an appalling 18 months with the deaths of parents, serious illness of my partner (we were told twice he would die but thank goodness he has just come home from hospital) . Loss of earning and all saving gone. My daughter also very poorly and then lost her drivers licence this week... it just goes on and on. Someone remarked yesterday "Whoever is writing the script for your life at the moment should be sacked!!"
I am generally an upbeat person and try and see the good in most people and situations, but lately I've been thinking is there any end to all this bad luck or what ever you want to call it and what could I do to change what's happening to us.?

MissAdventure Fri 17-Nov-17 13:45:43

I think the only thing you can change is your reaction to these things. It sounds cheesy, 'New age' etc, and a few years back I wouldn't have considered it, but its really all you can do.
Twice your partner has cheated death, etc. Worth a try, maybe? Anyway, hope things do start to get better for you. smile

Anniebach Fri 17-Nov-17 13:49:25

Most go through troubled periods, try to think of good periods in your life , there will be many x

humptydumpty Fri 17-Nov-17 14:06:22

Spounds as if the only way is up - good luck

M0nica Fri 17-Nov-17 17:09:59

I do not believe in 'luck'. I think in life events are entirely random. That means at times they cluster. The times we notice and remember are the times when everything goes wrong as they are in your life at present and I do have every sympathy for you with all the problems you are having at present. The times when good events cluster we notice less.

I still remember very clearly a year when disaster got us in a corner and hammered blows on us. but several good things happened that we didn't notice at the time and laid the foundations for future good events.

My sympathy is with you mumski at times like this life feels like a black hole that will never lighten. All I can offer is flowers.

BlueBelle Fri 17-Nov-17 17:15:38

Sorry for how it’s going Mumski I too don’t believe in good or bad luck it’s just random and yes it very often happens in clusters (usually the bad ) and I agree with MissAdventure it’s how you deal with it, damned hard when it all comes piling in and in answer to your last question no you can’t change it
Hopefully some good times are on the horizon xx

Nelliemoser Fri 17-Nov-17 17:54:29

I do not believe in luck.
I just know that life can gett shitty at times.

Iam64 Fri 17-Nov-17 17:59:46

I agree with MissA, all we can change about life events is the way we respond to them. The power of positively re-framing life events can become a helpful habit. I accept some may see it as the Pollyanna gene escaping again. Your partner survived against the odds, I know you will have celebrated that but when you find yourself ruminating on all the difficult and painful events this past year, try and set the positives on top. I speak from experience, rather than from a life that's had no ups, downs or disasters.

Day6 Fri 17-Nov-17 19:12:41

Mumski, I am so sorry life has been so difficult for you.

Sadly I think many of us can recall times where one bad thing followed another. Life isn't fair and never has been.

It seems to me that some people lived fairly charmed lives. Many a time I have wondered 'Why me?" when life never runs smoothly or kindly.

Now, I cherish the smooth patches of life. They tend to be rare in my case but I am grateful for the peace that comes eventually (usually long after) after pain. Events scar us and change us and sometimes strengthen us but we can do nothing to swerve the slings and arrows of life unfortunately. There is nothing we can do except hold on if we possibly can. I know that can be terribly hard to do too.

The light at the end of the tunnel can be a long time coming. sad

Iam64 Fri 17-Nov-17 19:18:17

Day 6 - flowers you summarise it so well.

loopyloo Fri 17-Nov-17 19:28:06

Perhaps you can see if you can improve your situation at the moment. If your DH is home now are there any benefits you can apply for ? Or might it be possible to get a part time job? Any little thing you can do to make life better is worth thinking about. Finding cheap ways to get pleasure out of life is helpful. I find even going out for a walk helps.
Hoping things improve for you.

Morgana Fri 17-Nov-17 20:56:57

I think lots of us have had a difficult year, but then life can't be all singing and dancing can it? My mum had quite a difficult life but we were always told to -'count our blessings'. Hard at times I know. Hope good things are on their way for you.

paddyann Sat 18-Nov-17 00:45:55

my husband says everyone gets the same amount of good and bad luck ,its just distributed differently.We've had periods of time where we've felt we had someone else's share .So I know how it feels.Just try to stay away from negativity and try to see a positive behind everything "bad" that happens ...its not easy but there is usually something good to come from most situations .Theres a New Year around the corner ,look at it as a fresh start .When we had our worst spell I did a Firewalk ...sounds daft but it felt as if I had taken back control by walking over hot coals and it helped me to get back on track

Willow500 Sat 18-Nov-17 07:39:07

I don't believe in luck either - it's just life - some is good and some is bad and we have to live each day as best we can. We too have been through some dark days - my MIL told me 'one day this will all pass'. She was referring not just to her own terminal illness but also all the other struggles we were having at the time. I hope things improve for you over the coming months flowers

NanKate Sat 18-Nov-17 07:52:29

mumski on reading through GN I realise we all have major ups and downs in our lives. I agree it is nothing to do with luck just life.

Since mid summer our family has had the most awful time, there is hardly a day when I haven’t had tears which have got me precisely nowhere.

I have learned to appreciate the odd laugh and ligthning of my mood. I have turned back to prayer which has helped me, but I realise it is not for everyone. I have learned to appreciate my lovely friends and those virtual ones on GN. All in all it is a bl**dy struggle but my family will smile once more, one day.

I do sincerely hope life turns round for you too mumski.

lemongrove Sat 18-Nov-17 10:17:39

Good posts from others so not much to add mumski except that all troubles come to an end at some time.
Random good luck and bad luck, are just that, random.
We can’t prevent events, but can try and have strength to deal with them.flowers

AllTheLs Sat 18-Nov-17 10:18:27

It happened to me - I thought I was the only person in the world going through so many shitty things, one after the other, seemingly never ending. Then I got cancer. It was a relief - I thought the 'bad luck fairy' had finally overdone things, that I would die and she wouldn't be able to torment me any more. As soon as I got cancer, ironically, things started to get better. This is me writing 9 years on - I will never forget that things got so bad, cancer was seen as a way out of it all. Hope things start getting better for you, too.

W11girl Sat 18-Nov-17 10:53:08

Go forward, don't dwell on it. You can't change what has already happened.
When things go wrong, I do my best to think about it differently. Having a rough time myself at the moment, one thing after another, so I understand your fears, but I try and see these things as temporary challenges to be overcome and think of positive ways to deal with them, rather than let them get on top of me. I also find writing down one column of the positives and one of the negatives usually lifts my spirits and gives me direction, as the positives more often than not outweigh the negatives. If there are more negatives, I tackle them to become positives. I don't believe in the "luck" thing, its about our own or somebody else's actions that create our circumstances.

minxie Sat 18-Nov-17 10:55:46

It’s just life and it’s your turn, we all seem to go through bad times and you just have to ride it through and eventually you will come out the other side

Diddy1 Sat 18-Nov-17 11:21:04

Not sure about bad or good luck, its life, at present we are having a "not so good time", but it will change I know, and things will be brighter.

Musicelf Sat 18-Nov-17 11:27:59

One of the most frequent moans by ex-pupils used to be "It's not fair!" I had to tell them that often, no, life isn't fair and we just have to go with it. Easier said than done when everything keeps hitting you time after time. I've had years like that, mumski and the thing that keeps us going is the mantra I've always used: "This day (month/year), like all days, will pass."

It seems as if some people have luck and others don't, but it's just the way life hits us in different ways, and we have to go with the flow, knowing that eventually things will change.

Ramblingrose22 Sat 18-Nov-17 11:47:15

musmski - I agree with others here that there is no such thing as good or bad luck.
I expect even those who appear to have "good luck" have also been through "diffiult" periods when things have gone wrong. It's just that you haven't got to hear about them.
When one thing after another goes wrong it is bound to make you feel vulnerable when they occur one after another over a period of time.
At such times, I have found it helpful to visualise the globe turning on its axis and saying to myself "While the Earth is turning, nothing is permanent. The good things are out there waiting to happen." I have also found the song "You'll Never Walk Alone" very comforting as well.
I hope this helps.

Saggi Sat 18-Nov-17 12:02:37

I’m with you MOnica.No such thing as luck good or bad. Right or wrong place in the right or wrong time is all there us. Parents dying isn’t bad luck , it’s a fact if life.Your daughter losing licence ( you don’t say for what offence/ illness) but obviously thought necessary by authorities.Your husband is recovered that could be construed as ‘good luck’ by you couldn’t it? I hope your daughter also recovers and regains her license soon. Things will hopefully turn around for you soon...but luck won’t have anything to do with it. Be brave.🌹flowers

Sheilasue Sat 18-Nov-17 12:49:07

No loosing your parents if it’s in old age is part and parcel of life.
I don’t know if it is bad luck. I know when my son died having been murdered I felt I must have done something terrible in my life but you think like that because your in a state of mind not thinking straight and it’s like a trauma.
What’s happened to you is that your going through a tough time but it will get better and you will look back and think how did we make it through that but honestly you will. In the meantime just be a family and be there for one another.

humptydumpty Sat 18-Nov-17 13:06:25

Mumski it's hard at times but I do find comfort in difficult times in the thought "this too shall pass".