What is the right thing to do

I would definitely say bye bye. We try and keep it quick and easy for our granddaughter both when her mum drops her off here to go to work and when we go over there. She understands that bye bye and see you later means she will see us or her mum and dad soon. Going without saying goodbye is not giving your grandson a chance to deal with his temporary feeling of abandonment and the chance to realise you will be back. I would say don't make an issue of it. I cringe when I see people clutching their children or grandchildren to them saying Oh nana is going to miss you so much. Not necessary and much more confusing for the child.

Instead of saying "Goodbye" which sounds very final we always used to say "See you later" This worked well as they knew we were going to be seeing them again

Definately always say goodbye despite the tears. This was the advice we always gave to parents when I used to work in a playgroup.
My grandsons are now 10 and 9. We live 300 miles apart to when I see them it is for at least a week at a time. If they are there when I leave they still both cry. If they have to go to school they say goodbye and put on a brave face although you can see the lips wobble.

Please never sneak away. Think how you would feel if someone you had just been having coffee with in the kitchen suddenly disappeared. You'd be frantic with worry and scared stiff ! Good suggestions above for helping him cope.

I'm another one who says 'Goodbye' despite the tears. I always leave kisses in the palms of their hands which they put under their pillows and keep safe until I see them again.

A kiss and a cuddle and encourage him to say bye-bye. He will soon realise that you always do come back.

Tell him goodbye and that you will be coming again soon, even say when.

My "littlies" used to get upset when I left after visits so I started giving them a big cuddle then opened their hand, put a kiss in it and quickly closed their fingers. I told them that was for them to keep and use when they wanted until we saw each other again. That worked a treat and they still, even though they are all now teenagers, want a big hug and blow a kiss as they leave.

I too have been tempted in the past to slip away or wished my D would do that when Im babysitting but really it is counterproductive for all the reasons others give. I now always say goodbye and they do get over it surprisingly quickly especially if reassured they'll see you again soon.

I tell the GC I have to go home to feed the dog, they understand that, and then I can ring and tell them when I am home, and tell them what Ernie ate. I take instructions from them, how many biscuits will he get etc They like to feel they are 'in charge' of the leaving.

If you have no pets, you can have plants to water or even a phantom old lady who needds some help........make a story of it.

really!

My GS used to cry buckets when we went to pick him up from his mum's, then cry when he had to leave us. It was always the same. He grew out of it and forgave us for taking him away and for leaving him.
Don't worry - it is horrible at the time, but it realy does go away...

A thoughtful decision Serkeen Don’t expect miracles though, it will take time.

Ok guys thank you, I will try the leaving something behind thing and will bite the bullet and take your overwhelming advice to say goodbye, otherwise what would have been the point of asking for advice.

I will let you know how things go with it all.

Thank you for your time, really appreciate it x

I experienced this with GD1 when she was barely able to talk, she fell asleep at my house and DS carried her into the car, she woke up at home and she was inconsolable. DS rang me and asked me to speak to her because he assumed she had missed her cuddle bye,bye. She could only say grandma and could not tell them what it was that had upset her. The same GD asks if she can stay and send the rest of the family home.

I would never slip away without saying ‘goodbye ‘. How worrying that is. Imagine your DH or whoever you live with just suddenly disappearing. As an adult we can understand but probably not a two year old
I have had this with my DGC and have sometimes left something of mine and told them that I’ll be back to collect it on ... whenever.

My DIL usually picks up my DGD, but the other night my son came to get her. When he started to put on her coat, she started to crying, saying: " Don't want to see mummy!. Want to stay with gran" . My other children and partners had all popped in, so she was having a great time and was obviously enjoying all the attention. . She was two minutes in the car, when the crying stopped!
I thing " Lemongrove's* idea is a good one, disappearing without a word may cause even more anxiety.

I would say bye bye and see you 'whenever it is' too - it's a good idea about leaving something behind for him to look after for you. Children often cry inconsolably and you feel terrible but then it is forgotten five minutes later. Your DIL will probably be ready with something to distract him as soon as you've gone home.

Say goodbye - he needs to be able to trust those who love him, and know that, even if they have something to say he will not like, they will not be underhand with him.

Good advice. I like lemongrass’s idea. Tell him he’s looking after it for when you return.

I can only agree with others serkeen. I’m afraid you risk your grandson not trusting you if you sneak out. He may only be two but he will understand that you leave and he’s sad but you do come back. I know it’s hard to leave an upset child but it will help him in later life. Why not leave something of yours as lemongrove suggests, it could well help. .

Goodbye should most definitely be said, with a cheery “ see you tomorrow/ on Wednesday/ next week, etc, followed by a swift retreat with no further discussion.
They will soon learn that you speak the truth.
Sneaking away leads to more clingyness.

My grand daughter cries too when I leave their house, and when she leaves mine she sometime cries and sometimes she says she doesn't want to go. I would never not say goodbye to her though, I always give her a big hug and say I'll see you very soon.

Just doing a vanishing act may upset him even more.

I agree that you should always say goodbye, and then say that you will see him again soon.I used to have this problem and found that leaving my slippers and a scarf there helped.
DGS was about 2.He used to walk about in my slippers! It reassured him that I would be back again.