Grandsons first birthday present rejected

I take your point about phonics, but by the time this DGC is ready for phonics, he is likely to have grown out of a walker!

Thanks Ethel, I forgot the flippin' phonics!!

We've set a limit for each DGS for Christmas and birthdays, and check with the DC as to what we should get. This year we'd seen Magformers at a children's festival, so suggested we bought a few sets of them, and they were delighted with that - they'll last for years, don't take up space, and can be added to. If there's nothing needed they get the cash to pay for something later in the year or put in the savings accounts. There's nothing new in this, as my parents and in-laws used to do the same for our children back in the day.

We do have a lot of the DC's old toys here, a full bookcase of books, and treasures that I've found at charity shops, so there's always plenty for the DGC to play with when they come here. Sometimes the DGS "borrow" something for a week or so - I've noticed the parents are always glad to give them back!

Don't whatever you do get into a competition with the other grandparents - thereby lies madness.

Have you asked your son why he feels your proposed gift is inappropriate? Is it the expense? Is he worried that you are spending more than you can afford? You say they live in a smallish house. As others have mentioned, space might be an issue. Our own son urges us not to get large toys, even though they have a reasonably sized house. If we buy large toys, they are kept at our house (though I appreciate that if you don't live fairly near to the family the child wouldn't have regular access to the toy so that wouldn't be a practical solution).

I would be surprised if your son was deliberately meaning to scupper your plans or be unkind.

Count yourself lucky - when I first saw your post I thought that your gift had literally been rejected and sent back! Ask them what they want you to get with your toy voucher. I couldn't give my GS a first Christmas present or first Birthday present as his mother refuses us any contact so as I said, count yourself lucky.

jackiesue
Your thoughts are exactly how I feel.
My husband and I smile and keep the decorum whilst making sure our own hard won lives stay intact.

These issues are common it seems. I have learnt to do what THEY want and smile sweetly through it all. Then get on with my own life. I was recently told not to ask to go along to things they are doing with my grandson, to wait and be asked and stop making them feel pressured. Since then I've not asked anything and have been asked to nothing. New parents today think they know it all, they'll all come looking for help and support soon enough, just smile sweetly and keep your dignity and sanity.

jamilia, Mawbroon, re the G for Giraffe as children are taught to read in school using phonics it is better and less confusing for them if an alphabet set is phonetic eg G for Goat, Gate or Ghost rather than Giraffe which is not spelt as it sounds. Hope I've explained that properly! Apologies if someone has already replied.

Give your son money to buy what he wants for his child.

If I want to buy a 'big' toy for my grandkids, I do it on the understanding it can be kept at mine so it is there for when they play. I usually get them a little toy to take home.

Why don’t you give him the toy voucher, then the parents can choose what they think is best for for their child.
I would be offended, they are just being practical.

Well said Faye - will be memorising your words of wisdom for my upcoming first grandchild. Thankyou

Try not to feel that you are bei g unfairly treated. I buy some bigger toys form my 4 GC and keep them at My house. I am sure I have more toys at my house. I get great pleasure from seeing my grandchildren
playing in my house and I can play with them as well.
That way I get more pleasure from the toys which are at my house with my grandchildren.
My.GC get a lot of toys from all the family members and I only give them small toys they are allowed to have in their house.
Best Wishes
Joseph Grennell

Whatever you do try not to get into tug-of-war situations . Being competitive with the other grandparents spells trouble and puts the young parents in an awkward position. Someone here suggested getting a paddling pool for the summer. I think that would be a good idea.

Gosh, so many rules!

Maybe I am missing something here but to be honest I get fun from buying anything for my DGC that gives them pleasure or helps make mum and dads parenting journey easier, I honestly don’t care if my DGC are aware of whether it’s from me or not or what others have bought for them or not as long as it helps them to have a great childhood. I know that I love them and they love me so that’s enough of a pay back ?

I always just asked my daughter to get the children's presents, and gave her the money.

Did the "g for giraffe" mystery ever get solved?
What are we meant to be taking a stand against?

I wud be Xtremely pleesed to no wot it is abowt.

Could you say you understand about space being needed and will keep it at yours for him to have when he visits and as soon as the walker is not needed maybe he could have it at home? Did I see it beeped a lot......?

DGGD, just 1, has been playing this weekend with some of my presents. As several other posters have pointed out, lovely toys in excellent condition are available at a charity shop near you! I also bring out toys her DM enjoyed playing with , a Boots 'Hiking Heidi' cloth doll and an Early Learning baby doll have both lasted 20 years and several GC so far.

Maybe give them the toy voucher, so they can buy something for him at a later date?

Jalima - I don't think the newborn would care about G for Giraffe! An older child would begin to understand that English is a far from phonetic language. Welsh, on the other hand ...
Time those who are inflicting digraphs on infants remembered that reading is about enjoying books. Jumping giraffes and sainted ceilings, whatever next?!

Well you can’t spell giraffe with a j can you? Whatever is the world coming too?
We will be spelling xylophone with a z next.

I’m no help on the present front, but Jalima and Maw - if a child is learning to read phonetically, then sounding out a letter G as /g/ (sort of like guh, if you say it out loud), can be confusing, as the word giraffe is sounded out with a J /j/ sound instead.

Think of the g in garden as opposed to the g in germ!

Oh Dear. I can remember this situation myself, and it is hurtful. If you go ahead and get the gift there could be resentment every time they look at it. So gift voucher may be the way to go to keep the peace. Disappointing, but blessed are the peacemakers!