Daughter asked by boyfriend if she wants a threesome

Messages do pop up (Skype or FB and even e-mails) which you can read as they scroll up the screen - if you are using someone else's pc it's difficult to avoid reading them. That said I agree that really at 19 her sex life is her own affair and you shouldn't interfere. Her boyfriend could indeed have been joking or may be part of an earlier conversation taken out of context so best not to let on that you've seen his message.

I would be worried if it were my 19 year old daughter.

The daughter in question is 19.

I have raised 2 daughters and I did all the wrong things read their diaries stalked them on Facebook.
But to this day they don’t know...I realise it’s an invasion of privacy but at 16 yrs of age girl is vulnerable as a mother I needed to know.
So I gave each of them a very hard talking to about sex. That it’s great with the right guy who loves and respects you but there are the ones who are emotional bullies. They’re the ones even at my age who still snigger in a corner and say to their mates “I used to do her”
I told my daughters “ Don’t be haunted by grubby men like this”Then the talk about safe sex and condoms etc. I just brought up the subject of v disease and how syphilis can send you mad. Also the hard talk about drugs. I took them to a methodone clinic for an afternoon we just sat and watched people come and go when they were 15.
Both of these strategies worked no drugs no sleeping around with unsavoury guys They are both now married and have thanked me for being so tough. It’s important for young women to know they have the power to tell men and their friends to sit on it and spin if pressured to have sex or do drugs.
I am a mother first

The fact that the OP states that she has "access" to her daughter's messages sounds as if she is seeking them out rather than they are just randomly pop up on the screen.

Blooming cheek, reading her messages. Leave her private life alone!

The private lives of adults are nobody's business except their own, especially when it comes to sex.
Time to let go Vik65. Or are you planning to supervise her life forever?
I'm afraid I'd be moving well away if I were your daughter.

Lynnebo I'd agree, she probably saw the first couple of lines but even so, the post isn't there to be opened and read . Vik65 says that her daughter doesn't know that her mother is reading the posts. Having access to someone's private messages can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. My suggestion would be "get your own laptop and give this one back ".

Depends on the computer - on ours a message comes up showing the sender and a couple of lines of the message in a box on the screen you are working on.

All you see on a laptop is the title of the message. Honestly, it's time to stop opening her messages and reading them. At 19 she is a grown woman, not a child to be monitored by her mother. Her sex life should be her own private business. I'm sure she doesn't let you use her laptop so you can read her private mail.

I wonder if she knows you see her messages and it was sent on purpose to shock you??

What would be your personal preference regarding threesomes? A full blooded menage a trois marriage would tend to be more complicated than a twosome marriage. Brief encounters less difficult and could be staged managed before the event.

Messages have to be opened, though?

Mis adventure yes she is a very young 19 and this is her first boyfriend for a long time (the last one she was 15) and no bluebelle I haven't seen her reply, I want snooping, I was using her laptop with her permission and message popped up

Vik65 If you have seen the message then you will also have seen her reply?? I was married at 19 and got up (or down) to all sorts though no threesomes. I would have been furious and mortified if my parents stuck their noses into my sex life, just as I had no interest in theirs. Even thinking or wondering about it seems somehow Incestuous. Likewise, I had no interest in what my DDs did, or didn't do with their boyfriends, although our family are very open and would tell me if they had problems.

Stop looking at your adult daughters PRIVATE.messages Vik and then you won’t need to worry so much ignorance can be bliss at times Do you not feel guilty for intruding into her private life
Most of us have no idea what sex loves our children lead after 18 at latest ( and that’s how it should be) we bring our children up to know right from wrong and how to keep themselves safe and how to say no if they don’t want something after that we have little or no control. Sit back and trust her if you ve been a decent Mum she will talk to you if she’s worried about something
It’s just NOT Your business any longer

Do you think your daughter is particularly vulnerable?
Is she a young 19?

Not a spoof just a worried mum

I didn’t mean that Oops I meant the whole thread or rather two threads may be a spoof to get us talking Its been done before many times

FHS this might be an in joke between your DD and her boyfriend! And nothing to do with what you are thinking. Yet another reason why you shouldn’t snoop.
She’s 19 !

Beat me too it BlueBelle

Or is it a joke

or are you a father?

Luckygirl

Well, you can't ask her if she is ready for something like a threesome because then you would have to confess you have access to her phone and nose at read all her messages.

Tough being a mother, isn't it!

Don't try to discuss this. Don't interfere. Don't access her messages.
If by any remote possibility she wants to discuss it with you she'll tell you.