I have never thought of this...

My MiL had to go into a nursing home for her last few years and we had to clear her house within a limited time as it was council property. She was allowed to take a very small amount of her "treasures" with her and we had to then clear her property. My late FiL was a bit of a squirrel...of sentimental things really... and it felt quite sad to have to dispose of things they had loved and cherished. After sorting out the things we kept, and others given to family members, I rang a large local charity shop of which my MiL had regularly supported and asked them if they would like to have the opportunity to have the contents of my MiLs house. A time was arranged for someone to come and look, and they agreed to take everything apart from one bed which they took to the tip for us. All other furniture met with the required fire safety regulations and was in good condition. They even took the washing machine (twin tub) as could raise money from scrap value, and an electric cooker(one ring broken) as they had their own electrician who did repairs and tested to required standards. We helped their cause and they helped us in disposing of a lot of stuff.

I read somewhere recently that we "should live to live and not live to die" as we get older. That said, however, I am decluttering a little, as and when the mood takes me (via Ebay, charity shops and the tip) but am keeping what I want to keep for as long as I want to keep it!

I also remember the saying "one man's trash is another man's treasure".

Dove, you speak of respect and say you don't interfere with your children's lives and they don't interfere with yours but to leave the burden of throwing your hoarded belongings will very much affect your children's lives.

My husband had to deal with all of his parent's belongings on his own and it was a hard physical and emotional task. Not only that, but when these immense tasks are under time pressure and decisions about what to keep and what to let go have to be made quickly some precious things can be lost in the melee.

It is kinder to make a collection now of things which your children will treasure as family objects and mementoes and to begin to offload that which you no longer use.

This is very much horses for courses management. While it cannot be right to interfere with any relative's life style there is one very serious point - fire.

The more flammable stuff that is kept the greater the danger. A common sense approach to fire risks can bring about a change.

I believe one of the hardest things we have to deal with in our life, it has been for me, is the responsibility of clearing out the possessions of deceased loved ones.
I am not referring to 'clutter' although what we see as 'clutter' was part of someone's life and who am to judge.

I was a bit of a hoarder... I bought a book by Marie Kondo that really helped me. She said to pick up everything and hold it. If it gave you joy keep it....If it didn't get rid of it. I would recommend her book. It was difficult to do though...separating myself mentally from 'stuff'. I had newspapers from royal weddings etc....I burnt the lot....hahaha The feeling of 'release' was amazing.

Missed out the I.

My Dad organised everything before he died. He gave away lots of stuff and got various envelopes for paperwork, sorted and labelled it so my brother, sister and I could easily get it done. The only thing I wish he hadn’t done was throw away old photos. I would have loved to have had those - but then I’m a hoarder!

Have just spent the last 8 weeks clutter clearing as I feel it’s unfair to burden your family withe dross. Having said that the items I keep are photos now in archive safe albums with written info on the who what why & where at least our family can now relate to the photos also other memorabilia like newspapers with events during the last 50yrs, old sewing patterns, letters from family members which make fascinating reading, amazing what you read from the recent past that comes round again, we don’t seem to learn from history although it can be biased. All labelled so they can make a choice “ chuck it or keep it” I won’t be here to worry about it, job done.

We don't live anywhere near our DC so it would be very difficult for them to do any mammoth sorting and clearing and so we need to keep everything as simple as possible for them when we are gone as well as for ourselves as we become older.
DDIL has asked us to photograph items which have come down through the family and write down information about each item and any family stories connected with them so that they are not forgotten. I am just really pleased that there are not so very many!
We fairly recently downsized and also decluttered to a certain extent but then became blogged down with the drawers of 'bits and bobs' we were left with. We have recently started again and as someone else has said earlier up thread if we hold it and it neither gives us joy or we know the D.C. will not want it then it is going out. Every time we see the DC we are offering them things we think might be useful to them and if they are not interested then we channel to the BHF charity shop or similar.
We are not planning on checking out just yet but after the crash which so nearly killed DH we were suddenly brought up short with the shock and realisation that you can never tell what is round the corner. Well we knew that anyway but it suddenly became very personal! When we first saw our new (to us) home it was very clearly an executors' sale and was stuffed to the gunwales. It took their family a very long time to clear and at the time we declared it to be a terrible warning to us not to let it get into the same situation! It is very hard to keep on top of things though.

I have given my DD a note with my more valuable possessions listed and to whom I want them to go. I have tried to point out my more valuable bits and pieces, but I think most things will go to a professional house clearer. It's sad really as I value and look after my things?

I find that moving house is a great way to de-clutter. The only thing that annoys me is finding a place to keep the boxes and inner packaging in which bigger appliances arrive. By that I mean vacuum, upright steamer, stand mixer, food processor, large fan etc. which might get damaged unless securely packed with attachments when moving (or when children divide the spoils)
I'm currently tripping over two very large boxes from my new mixer and processor.

Side note: if you are thinking of geeting rid of crafting stuff, there are lotsof places that will take it.

There are groups on facebook etc that specifically take half finished stitching/quilting projects or restore old projects. They will also return the finished/restored project to relatives if requested as a lot of these things have sentimental value.

But please don't bin your or a relative's hard work!!!

(Especially old quilts or part finished quilt tops. Please not the quilts!!!)

What a lovely idea.

I have been thinking of moving but the thought of clearing things out puts me off. I did make a start today though 1 bag to the charity shop. Its a start. I am looking at over 55's bungalows. Seen one this am, unfortunately, there were three footballs in the garden as it backs onto a large house plus a trampoline against the rear fence.

I believe there is another one coming up for sale soon, so I shall hang on.

I do wonder if hoarding is left over from the war. My mother in law stored about 72 bags of sugar and 40 boxes of tea for years almost until she died.

My dear late mother took the step of destroying old photographs, letters etc. when she was in her eighties - things she felt would be of no interest, and she was right. The only thing I regret is that she also got rid of the large old photograph album which I had loved looking through as a child. But she did retain all the family photos. For myself, an inveterate hoarder, I am determined not to leave loads of junk for my DDs to trawl through and then feel guilty about throwing it away, so I have started a big de-cluttering exercise. But it's hard...

I have had to downsize from a 3 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom flat and had a big declutter to do so. Limited storage in the flat so even though I had taken loads of stuff to the charity shop and tip , I still had 4 smallish boxes of very sentimental stuff to keep. My daughters friends husband put made to measure shelves high up in the hall cupboard so these can be stored and I made sure I only have what I need with regards to China, glass, bedding etc. DD1 remarked recently that she was grateful that it would only be s small job to sort everything when I pop off . This was said quite fervently after she recently helped her SIL to clear her mothers house after she died.

I haven’t read every post but I’m also beginning to thin out all my stuff at the moment. I am very conscious of the objects my family loved so it’s been a really tricky journey.
I’ve got boxes and boxes of stuff from my parents’s home, from my aunt and other relatives and these contain the items they once found precious. I’m finding it hugely difficult. Some things I really don’t like, some are damaged beyond use (but were loved so much in their day) and some were “make do and mend” type items - such as home made leather gloves cut out ready and just waiting for sewing!

My new plan is to take photos of everything. I’m writing a little note which is in the photo saying ‘Dad’s favourite mug” or “made by Eve during the 2nd world war”. I’m hoping some of these may be of interest to my family in future but meanwhile it’s helping me part with these “treasures”.
As they’ve mostly been living in packing cases for 20 years I won’t actually miss them but until now, parting with them has been just too painful.
This new scheme is really helpful and I’d recommend it to others.

One poster raises the issue of fire risk. I saw a tv prog about the London Fire Brigade & was surprised at the high percentage of fires caused by hoarding. One other thing to consider would be if the property is owned by the boarder or not. As others have mentioned, you usually have a very short time to clear out a rented place. I am a chucker-outer myself. Though know to tread carefully with others' belongings.

Think I just went slightly off topic.
I would never ask anyone to thin out their belongings unless it was genuinely dangerous.

I kept mementos all through their childhood and hope they will smile when they sort it out. Having read all these posts I will try and sort stuff out gradually as I might not be able to when I feel my time is coming. I have a box of family odds and ends and have done lots of family history research and dont want it to go to waste, so in my Will I have asked them not to throw it away (they are not interested in it at the moment, but wait till they are parents!) but put it in the loft for future generations.

PS
Have labelled all the stuff in the box, especially the old photos so hopefully it wont be a load of meaningless junk!

Marydoll, if you read my post properly you will see that I differentiate between being surrounded by things that your relative loves and being a hoarder, if it’s the former then the relative should be left alone to enjoy their ‘stuff’, if they are a hoarder then it’s even more cruel to badger them, as we all know hoarding is a mental illness.
BTW I have been in this position, if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have commented on this post.

I would like to declutter a lot of my stuff but I worry that the things I think worth keeping will not be the things my DC will want and that I might throw out something they would treasure. But before I start I need them to take THEIR stuff out of the spare room and the loft to THEIR homes!