Death of other granny

Thank you all for the advice - I really appreciate it. I shall go round in a couple of days with flowers and a card .. and a huge hug for my daughter-in-law. Bluegal, I have been overthinking .. have a marked tendency to do that !!! Will now concentrate on son, daughter-in-law and granddaughters. Thanks again.

Please don't wait for a couple of days before contacting your DiL. Let her know you are thinking of her and want to help. Can I also say that having worked with primary age children for 30 years (and I still am) children are definitely NOT resilient. They need lots of love, patience and honest explanation relative to their level of understanding. It can take up to 2 years for children to show signs of bereavement. They will need you around at this sad time.

Go and see her! (The idea of sending flowers or a letter, is kind and thoughtful - but for a neighbour or distant friend, not for a family member.) You say you love your DIL, so just go!

Even if you've had problems in the past, put them aside and give her a cuddle - she'll need it at this difficult time. (And, of course, offers of help.)

Sometimes, we don't do the right thing at the right time, and live to always regret it.

Don't let that happen to you! Do your best, as you would for any of your children, and let her know that you are there for her. (And for your son, and the grandchildren.) You won't go far wrong!

Good luck.

I think I'd appreciate contact quite soon after it happened if it was me.

Anyway I came on here to recommend a picture book for children about death and dying. I used to sell children's books and this one is excellent. ..Always and Forever by Debi Gliori.

Fox dies. His friends go through all the stages of grief ....not eating, not wanting to go out. Squirrel comes round and talks about him and all the things he liked. Then they make a special area in the garden to remember him.

" He will be in our hearts forever "

I only suggested sending flowers and a note because, from the OP, it sounded as if the relationship is a rather distant one.

I agree - go round asap with flowers and a hug and offers of whatever help is needed.

Hi. Sorry for your family's loss. My daughters (aged 14and 10) experienced bereavement for the first time recently when we list my husband's best friend to cancer. They have each reacted very differently. Both have needed time to cry, talk and have cuddles. The younger one said she didn't want her dad to see her upset because he was already so sad. The older one wanted to talk about death/end of life, afterlife - not easy but I think better out than in. I just wanted to say to you to be there/be present or for your g/c. You can help them to grieve and to understand that griefsuggestioba is normal and hard. Also, it might be hard for your DiL/son to know what help to ask for - maybe you could make specific suggestions e.g. Have the children over forctea after school, have everyone over for lunch at the weekend.... Hope this helps.

Sorry for all the typos.