Fear of Aging

It's been a hell of a winter, for both weather and viruses.

Things will get better I am sure; we all just have to hang on in there.

I think it will take quite a while to shake off the after effects of flu, and the weather hasn't helped much yet. Some nice summer weather will make the whole world look different.

Flu can be very debilitating and can leave you feeling depressed afterwards.
Perhaps you'll be able to get out in the promised sunshine and get some vitamin D this weekend Mancunianma.

As far as I remember, your neutrophils increase if you have a bacterial infection but you use them up if you have a viral infection (I think that's the right way round), so your immune system may be quite low at the moment.

I think you are so lucky to be 71.

The Biblical reference to our allotted span was three score years and ten. Not everyone makes it to 70. Anything beyond that is a bonus, but some folk have ten, twenty or thirty years of bonus. I have really appreciated life much more since I turned 70!

The warm weather is on its way. Book an appointment to have a new hair style, paint your toe nails in 5 different colours, plan to cook some of your favourite meals, put clean sheets on the bed, take yourself out for tea and cakes, buy some new clothes....in other words, make a list of things you could treat yourself to and then go and DO IT???☀️??

I think it all depends on your health. As a carer of 22 years, I've seen it all... from aged 6 to 103. From terminally ill to just being lonely.

I'm 59 and try not to think very far ahead, but to just enjoy life for the moment - my loving husband and sons, my delightful grandchildren, my cats, friends, etc. Luckily, I am still fit and well, but nobody knows what's "just around the corner", so I think it best to try to make the most of time NOW.

I’m 66, mostly retired except for a bit of casual work doing Invigilation, and am just happy to be over the hill rather than under it ! I have lost friends along the way and when something lovely happens with the one of my grandchildren, I always think of friends who are not around to witness joy with their families. Have made my bucket list for my “ autumnal years” and am having immense fun working my way through it .... travelling, white water rafting, parascending etc none of us know what life has in store, so we just have to grab everything while we still can. Have fun !

Get some tats, and/or piercings and kick up your heels!
(Says she whose every day is a struggle against arthritis). Do all the things you wished you had the courage when younger, and don’t give a hoot about what people think.

You say that you are suffering from depression and I would guess that this is colouring your whole view of life. It’s difficult to look forward with any positivity when all you want to do is pull the duvet over your head and let life happen. I really hope you get the help you need whether it’s medication or counselling. Good luck ?

Putting it bluntly. Visiting any. cemetery will put that Into perspective as it’s full of young people who would love to trade with you

Be glad your alive at 71! Millions don't make it to your age. I know of 3 people who have died in the last few years who were much younger. My hairdresser was 47 and dropped dead in her salon. Another old friend from years ago died in her sleep at the age of 49. Recently my husband unexpectedly passed away at the the of 60. I think that sums it up.

These posts are so cheering! I suppose it's all to do with how we look at things. I am generally a pessimist but it helps to read more cheerful peoples views.

Oh that meaningless old saying that ageing's better than the alternative! I'm not scared of being dead, which is simply ceasing to exist, but what am scared of is the process, which is why I'm an enthusiastic supporter of Assisted Dying. If you're old but still having fun and contributing to the world, age doesn't matter. If you're doubly incontinent and losing your marbles, then death should be offered as a treatment, as it would be to an animal in a similar state.

There is much good advice here, Mancunianma. I felt very much like you at the beginning of last year. But at the time had a disabled husband who had begun to have frequent falls. The car on which we relied packed up and I was forced into getting another one. I tried to do what my mother used to say “count your blessings”! I made myself keep up with friends and family and kept going as a school Governor. My husband tried to keep independent, we got a stair lift, Zimmer frames and when Spring came he used his mobility scooter. Things felt better. I think it’s best to try to take a day at a time, put in the odd treat - coffee and cake - a new blouse/whatever. By the way I’m 88, my DH has just passed away, strangely I don’t feel as depressed as last year, he’s at peace and I’ve got a lovely family. I hope you can find a good place to be and look forward to some happy years.

fear can be debilitating. for me the answer is to look at the "worst case scenario", then make a plan for it, then i know i'm ready for "if and when", which means I can forget about it and get on with the fun things.
eg, i have recurring bouts of a long-standing illness. so i have a box packed with everything i need when the "attack" occurs: instant food, long life juice, loo rolls, emergency antiobotics - anything it'd be a disaster to have just run out of, plus a few treats for when i'm able, like books to read, etc. if you face your fear and prepare for it, then you can really take all the good advice on here and get back to enjoying your life.
ps: after any illness you need to treat yourself to a few favourite things to cheer yourself up.

I never worried about getting old...then suddenly found it had happened! I am still puzzled how it can be so difficult to bend down and then get up again, and how quickly I get tired
I do now admire my mother and mother-in-law, who both remained active well into their nineties. I think their secret must have been their deprived childhoods.

One advantage - to me anyway - is that I no longer give a toss what anyone else thinks.

Will just mention vitamin D - as mentioned elsewhere I've been taking a fairly high dose since feeling very tired/run down and then wiped out with a horrible bug a few weeks ago. Was the same at the end of last winter - April both times, so can't help putting 2 and 2 together.
Do feel a lot better since starting vit D3 - since we eat a good diet I had rarely bothered with vitamins before.

There is a great deal of wise thoughts and good advice from other posters. However I do wonder if the really fundamental question is the existential issue of facing of our own mortality and the recognition that no matter how terrific we are and what we do our time in this life is limited. I am conscious at times of feeling envious of youth. I consider myself to have been very blessed in life and dearly love my family and my life but find this all ending hard to face.
I am greedy for life and all the things I will miss - the future selves of my beloved children and grandchildren. New knowledge and discoveries, natural beauty and so much more. However I do try take the view that ageing is a privilege denied to many and that it sure beats the alternative.

I agree with “lovebooks”.....it is so different when you are healthy.....I have had problems since I was 47.....and three years ago I started with chronic burning pain , which is central pain, and there is NO treatment or chance of a cure....so yes I could be much worse off but living in continuous chronic pain that means every step I take agony isn’t much fun.

Mancunianma, as soon as you’ve recovered physically, things will seem better, especially on a beautiful Spring day. I agree with all Elegran has said. I would also add that it’s not too late to find some new passion which you can really enjoy and look forward to. Perhaps you could challenge yourself, I try hard to do something outside my comfort zone (however small) on a regular basis.

We are so lucky to be alive, so many of our contemporaries aren’t. I’m 70 this year and am hoping that I will continue to be fit, but you never know, so make the best of each & every day. Good luck on the road to recovery.

I know not everyone is in exactly the same situation as regards health and work and caring responsibilities, but there are benefits for many of us to getting older.
No one expects you to be up at six and racing off to work, juggling the housework, shopping and childcare any more (apologies to those grans racing off to do childminding or still in full time work).

On a sunny day we can choose to sit in the sun or go for a walk, instead of being in an office/factory all day.
We can read a book or watch TV or go on Gransnet without feeling guilty.

On a sunny day like today, I will do a bit of Tai Chi in the garden, hang the washing out, walk round the garden, watch the birds nesting, do some French lessons online, go to the Garden Centre and hopefully buy a new rose and text my daughters.

Cataracts mean I can’t read as much as I used to, and I’m not so keen on long walks (a gentle stroll is more my style now). Childminding once or twice a week is a joy. Meeting friends for coffee/lunch is a pleasure that I didn’t have time for when I was younger. You also have more time for looking after yourself, gentle exercise, preparing healthy meals etc. I know major health problems for me or my husband might be just around the corner, but still plenty to enjoy at the moment. Think positive.

Eat sensibly
Keep fit
Stay interested in everything

Maybe it's the physical decline you're scared of, Mamcunianma?
With any luck that will only gradually happen, so you hardly notice (until you take stock in 10 year's time.)
Adele wrote:
" and look forward to. Perhaps you could challenge yourself, I try hard to do something outside my comfort zone (however small) on a regular basis. "
I try to do that - especially something to look forward to, because I tend to look back rather than forward.

Take care honey. It is difficult recovering from an illness at any time of life especially if you are alone. You will be alright, just take baby steps to getting better. A little bit each day of exercise, stretching and if you can have a laugh now and again. Maybe something on TV that you like, or a book to lift your spirits. I fell over and broke two ribs about seven weeks ago, what a journey it has been. I had to relearn how to breath deeply eventually and even how to get my confidence back walking. It took a few weeks but with practice I am now striding along the footpath each day feeling heaps better. I even go to the gym and do gentle walking on the treadmill and some light weight lifting. You don't have to go to the gym, just move your body as best you can, baby steps. Good luck, you will be ok. cheers.

I work on the basis that today I'm the youngest I'll ever be!