Fear of Aging

It’s all we can do synonymous, I hold you in my prayers and thoughts x

I would check out of you have a D3 deficiency. For months all I thought of was death to the extent where I became quite paranoid about dying. The optimistic me had gone. A blood test showed I was fine except for a lack of sun and vitamin D3. Taking one tablet a day for a few months has changed my life around, no more morbid thoughts.

You might get some hints from this Poem. Because I am quite pedestrian when I get down about not looking like I use to, or see my fat ankles under my skirt as I walk by a shop window and wonder who that woman is, I think this poem. There are some benefits in getting older, cling to those. There ain't much we can do about it so go with doing the best we can and making the most of what we have.
I hope you enjoy the poem.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Acknowledgement:
© Jenny Joseph, SELECTED POEMS, Bloodaxe 1992.
Reproduced with permission of Johnson & Alcock Ltd.

(Update: I am so sad to report that Jenny passed away on January 8, 2018 at age 85. What a wonderful gift she has left us!)

Love that poem, it always makes me smile.

Hi Synonymous,

Me too! Unfortunately I can only manage small rebellions my self. Although I have started to be less diplomatic and a little more forthright with people as I age. Maybe that's so I won't become invisible.
I saw in a post that you are confined to your bed. I wish you well and hope your managing to wear some purple and red!

Hi Ally! Oh yes, I can be quite outrageous if I try and just love to have a good giggle. DH came home yesterday so I am a very happy bunny although he goes back again for the next op in two weeks time. I so hope that will be the last one and he will be on the up after all that. Very kind of you to notice and send a nice message.

Excellent!

You sound strong. Best wishes to DH with the op and recovery.

Take care!

My father's godmother is 100 years old. She still drives and takes all of her friends to their appointments. She lives in a lodge, but only because she's a widow and was living on a somewhat isolated farm. 20 years ago my dad said she should bottle her energy and sell it. My kid has a great great grandmother (you read that correctly; her maternal grandfather's grandmother) who is ~106 years old and still very active. My own great-grandfather refused to visit the seniors center because he said it was for "old guys". He referred to it as the Drop Dead Center. He was in his 80s at the time.

Healthy aging is becoming more and more common as it's being recognized that frailty, immobility, and dementia are not part of normal aging. At the very least, healthy diet and exercise can do a lot to keep people healthy into advanced age. You can also check with your provider to see what they recommend.

Your genetics sound good agnurse. Whilst we can do much to live healthy lives, there is a lot to be said for the X factor.

I imagine that also the sheer luck of the draw for instance where we are born and to whom we are born determine or did in the past the type of work we would be engage in. All sorts of factors come into play in the game of life.

I do agree though that if all the other factors are good, and you do have a positive outlook and determination it must help.

Illness however cannot always be avoided no matter what you do. How do we account for babies and children with cancer for instance.

Sadly, dementia's are on the increase, and if not part of normal ageing then what is causing them? There are over 100 types of dementia, some are vascular so I suppose we could blame life style for that, but what about Alzheimers, which I suspect is genetic. How do we stop alzheimer's and the other types of dementia's? Just how much are they linked to life style choices? I really don't think that they all can be life style related can they?

It would be interesting to know of all the types of dementia's which are considered genetic and which are life style related that would be interesting research to help us all, if in fact life style is a factor. Although I doubt the powers that be would tell us this, because it would scare people who had family with dementia's that come under the genetic category wouldn't it.

There is another factor to consider that of environment, for instance pollution, air quality, contamination from places like Sellafield there is evidence of cluster carcinoma in children and young adults in some area of Cumbria. Contamination of rivers and the seaside what effect do they have on long term health of swimmers.

What is in our food, preservatives, e numbers, transfats, sugar or sugar substitutes. Nothing is what is seems to be anymore. Beef, pork, lamb, chicken all pumped full of drugs, such as growth hormones, antibiotics, steroids. We then consume these in our food. Farmed Salmon is dyed and full of fish lice which has to be chemically removed before going on sale, due to the conditions in which they are reared. I could go on and on.

I think what I am saying here is that it is not as simple as life style choices, there are factors beyond our control that damage us. It is not as easy as saying life style choices prolong or reduce our lives or good genetics means we live longer and poor genetics means we don't. it is much more complex than that.

All things in moderation I suppose would be a good philosophy. However, let's not 'blame' people who get ill without considering all of the factors of modern day living and the damage on our health through no fault of ours. As long as we do the best we can to stay healthy, then all other factors are beyond our control.

Stay well everyone! Read the labels, and buy your meat, fish and poultry from anywhere but a supermarket.Read the labels on the cans before you buy and don't eat transfats.

Anything over seventy is a bonus, how true.
What good advice, enjoyed reading all the positive thoughts, thank you.

Anniebach, you are in my thoughts, know how difficult it must be for you and yet you are always so positive.

Over many years working in aged care, attending many conferences, reading countless academic papers and studies I came to the conclusion that our longevity is basically made up of three components- our inherited genetic makeup, environmental influences such as lifestyle, pollution, or being an unlucky generation involved in wars and conflicts and the big unknown, luck. How much weight you give to each factor is open to much discussion.

How these play out is our own life story. You can be fortunate and have wonderful family longevity genes, live a healthy life but be badly injured or die in a car crash by just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Every sunrise is a precious gift.

I have severe ME/CFS and Addisons disease. It's very easy to die with Addisons - and a lot of the younger girls on the Addies forum go around scared stiff to do anything and are neurotic as hell. I find when you get older, you go the opposite way - you appreciate and enjoy every single day! Don't get me wrong though - I do have really hellish days, mainly with the ME, but I nap through them and bide my time until I feel better. Life is for living and it's too short to waste with worry xxx

I think there is a saying "do not be afraid of growing old, it is a privilege denied to many"...

Fumanchu

I ams so sorry to hear you have Addisons, my son has a brain tumour and after a debunking craniotomy in 2011, he was put on to enormous amounts of steroids, anti epileptics etc, etc.

Two years ago although not feeling well at all, he thought he would try to get back to teaching, he was going to school, getting home straight into bed spending all weekend in bed and his emotions were all over the place. After collapsing, he was diagnosed with grade 1 Addisons, the whole endocrine system is not working.

Although he is on all the replacement hormones, growth, adrenalin and hydracortisol and testosterone. The combination of medication is still not right and he probably gets three to four hours a day when he can function a little, nothing that resembles normal living at all.

Any sort of stress either physical of even dealing with making or going to a Hospital appointment is a major issue, bringing on the sweating and the other effects.

Sorry to hijack this thread, but I could not miss the opportunity to communicate with fumanchu about this.

It is the most horrible progressive illness, and for my son on top of the side effects of the brain tumour which although benign is still there and in an area of the brain where we perceive the world around us, so not a good place, if indeed any problem in the brain can be regarded as better than another, it can't.

He is only 49 and his life has been a medical rollercoaster for the last ten years. So when I think about ageing, I pray that he will get as far as me. That would be such a blessing.

Alltgran1 so sorry to hear about your son. It makes me realise too how fortunate I have been. I do wish him well. and it is very hard for you too. As for the post- growing old is not for the fainthearted. We must try to keep smiling through our aches and pains which are many. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Nothing we can do about it except try to cherish every moment. The one good thing about growing older is we appreciate everything so much more.

Allygran dementia is not on the increase. In fact the incidence of dementia is decreasing thanks to the overall increase in levels of education and the increased good health of older people.

In every age group the numbers getting or likely to get dementia are falling. However as life expectancy increases, the total numbers of those with dementia will increase.

Recent developments in research into this disease, both early diagnosis, even before visible signs are present and the development of drugs to help alleviate the symptoms, make me confident that 10 years for now more and more people will be able to live independently with the disease before they need any form of care.

Sorry, Allygran just seen the post about your son. Nothing one say to someone in your position can be anything other than banal.

I think we need all to remember that for all the changes in life we an make or medicine can improve. There will always be that bolt from the blue that takes someone down without explanation or warning and your DS is a living example of this.