Is this acceptable in the 21st century

We don't get to watch any TV in my 'temporary abode' - my SIL doesn't approve of TV. Once we tried to watch a film so quietly I couldn't really hear it - he texted downstairs to DD to say turn the TV down, it was disturbing his reading - we gave up. Not everyone lives in happy circumstances. I would not tolerate this kind of behaviour but for some reason DD is prepared to.

GrandmaM I tend to moan a lot if DH is watching something I don't like with too much unnecessary violence.
I hope I'm not controlling and don’t think I am because it makes no difference. He carries on and watches it.
I watch my own stuff on the computer upstairs or play Bridge on my lap top and ignore him.

Have recently started watching Only Connect as DD will be appearing on it soon! Once DH retired we came to an agreement that he would watch all his sport (anything with a ball that moves) in silence and I listen to the radio or CDs and this has worked for us. He alway said the commentators annoyed him anyway. Most evenings we manage to share some screen time.

She is enabling him. It isn't too late to merely tell him that she is going to watch it and he doesn't have to stay in the room.

Believe it or not, there are women who enjoy being controlled.

May I speak up for one of those whose lives are controlled? We're not naturally compliant; we long to rebel, but you soon learn to be quiet when all you get is a mouthful of abuse if you express a preference or an opinion. When leaving isn't an option, it's all you can do not to scream.

Oh this has made me count my blessings! XDP never once in 8 years “let” me choose the tv programme, and yes he would have objected to the Royal Wedding. Now he’s an X I can watch what I like and yes I did enjoy the wedding, watched it all, on my Tod, with a cake and wine (to toast the happy couple you understand). I wondered why I enjoyed it quite so much!

My husband didn’t want to watch the royal wedding, but myself, my mother, and my daughter all wanted to watch, and even my four year old granddaughter wanted to watch. We all watched it together, drinking a little something that was fizzy, and eating scones and jam and cream. DH did something else, not sure what, the garden or washed the cars, or something. He then played football with four year old grandson who was interested at first but became bored with the wedding. Surely that’s how it should be, everyone doing what they enjoy.
Incidentally DH loves quiz programs and sport, I don’t stop him from watching them, as he doesn’t stop me from watching One Born Every Minute, or other programmes I like, and we both watch some programmes together.
And we only moan to each other occasionally about the other’s choice of programme .

After years of moaning about trashy Eurovision Somg contest, my husband suddenly decided he liked it and a wanted to watch and it’s all because my grown daughter is obsessed with it ( does all the parties etc) and it’s fashionable to do it. So this is one programme that I can’t abide and refuse to watch in between all the sci fi programmes I feel I’m made to have on all the time. Anyone these days can record and watch them when their partner is not there. He chose not to.

I would have been the same, with shock written all over my face! There really is no need for that, is there? As others have said - get two televisions or record the programmes and watch whilst he is at work (or out of the house if retired)

I hate TV, in general, and can count on the fingers of one hand the things I watch, but DH and DS are avids. I tend to go to bed early, but unless it's something we all want to watch, they record my programmes to watch when they aren't around. That said, I can't believe that there are still such controlling people around in this day and age.

Thank you b1zzle for your post. It's not easy when in that situation. My late OH always had control of the remote so I used to watch TV on my tablet in another room. He still complained!

Thank goodness for my iPad! My husband used to have sport of any description on the tv at all times which meant i couldn’t watch my favourite soaps, quizzes etc. I started to watch my programmes on my iPad with earphones on an blocked out his programmes and comments. He didn’t like being ignored and would say, “you can have your programmes on the tv if you want “. I, of course said ”no Thankyou” as I couldn’t stand his huffing and puffing and sighing!

I have a friend whose husband always worked away from home sometimes for months at a time. She, my friend loved all the soaps but wasn't allowed to watch them when he was home. Now he is retired I wasn't surprised when she told me last week she hasn't seen a soap for years. He watches sport from all over the world All day.

I live alone so watch what I want. When I go to my daughters it's a free for all, often losing out to Paw Patrol, (6yr old) or Flash, (11 yr old) or Sky Sport, (SIL).
When GC stays it's more regulated but I'll often find something else to do or retire to my room so 16yr GS can watch Eastenders or Wrestling.
Being stubborn and a rebel by nature, I don't like or let any one dictate to me, certainly not over important issues.
That is not to say I'm insensitive to those who are trapped, I had an abusive father. My best friend of 35 years and two of her daughters are survivors of controlling, abusive partners. (Thinking about it, I know of another 5 or 6 survivors). It is very difficult to walk away, even with a support system in place.

When we got our first tv in the 50's my dad (a lovely man) seemed to think he had to control it. It was be switched on for the news, then he would turn it off. Reluctantly he let my gran watch Corrie when it began. We could watch Dads Army, The Black and White Minstrels, Billy Cotton Band Show, Old Time Music Hall. Basically it had to be clean entertainment. I remember begging to see Dr. Kildare and being refused!

We have several tvs (not boasting, we run a b&b) so can often choose where and which to watch. We take it in turns quite amicably to watch the 'main' tv or to watch in another room. Counting my blessings, having read some posts. B1zz!e sorry to hear your situation.

This shocked me. I do find it odd that she told you. Maybe she presumes it is normal. ...

A friend who passed 3 years ago had a husband who watched every football game, all day if it was on. Non negotiable. She had a video machine in a back room where she watched her small collection of vhs films.

b1zzle I believe you...commiserations..

I am ‘allowed’ to watch some programmes that he doesnt like, he just talks incessantly throughout the whole programme, and then tells me I’m not listening to him - never thought of it as controlling but it does annoy the hell out of me !!

Old Meg. Why should a person be 'assumed' elderly if under another's control.?

Oh gosh, this is so scary! I feel like I’ve stepped into the twilight zone.
The thought that in 2018, people are still living in selfish or controlling situations where they are not “allowed” to do what they want in their own homes is so awful.
Neither my husband or myself watch much TV as we have so many other things we want to do. However, if either of us fancied watching something, the thought that there would have to be even a discussion about it fills me with horror.
I’m so sorry to hear that some people find themselves in this situation. I really couldn’t live my life in any way other than as an equal partnership but I understand some situations are not cut and dried.

I was very surprised recently when a woman in her early sixties, whom I considered outgoing and independent, said quite placidly that her husband couldn't stand 'Strictly' but that he 'let' her watch it in the bedroom, which was cold in winter because he turned the heating off.

My controlling (ex) husband was the reason I was unable to watch Charles and Diana. I tried to but the venom go too much. Wills and Kate I was unable to watch for an entirely different non bullying reason. so it was with great relish and joy that I sat in my armchair with a small bottle of Prosecco and lots of foodie goodies and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Without interruption!