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Has anyone experienced this?

(47 Posts)
MrsAJ Tue 17-Jul-18 16:05:33

I am paternal grandma to an almost 3 year old little boy. Sometimes when he is with me he'll moan that he wants nanny (mum's mum) . I usually just distract him. We do lots of fun things together and he sleeps overnight at my house at least once a week with no problems. Today when I went to collect him from nursery, I was hurt and embarrassed when he said "I want nanny" when he saw me. I gave him a hug and said that today he was going to do fun things with grandma. He's been fine since. Am I being over-sensitive. Has anyone else experienced this?

aggie Tue 17-Jul-18 16:11:57

Oh yes , they know how to play one off the other at that age . It is just part of the wee one trying to find their place in the world . I remember calling at the other Granys house with a message and my beloved grandson refused to even look at me sad , then he was at mine next week and was as sunny as ever , seems I had strayed out of my defined territory , you did good hugging him

lemongrove Tue 17-Jul-18 16:18:25

No, but plenty of ‘I want Mummy’ from small DGD, especially when not getting her own way, or on picking up from nursery.Perhaps MrsA your DGD sees more of the other Grandma? The maternal Grandma often plays second fiddle, it’s just one of those things, but generally speaking,
In a few years time you won’t notice.In fact, I always preferred my paternal Grandparents, simply because they had the time and inclination to let me chat while they listened.

Oopsadaisy53 Tue 17-Jul-18 16:22:43

Yes you are being over sensitive, he’s 3 !

I expect if the other Nanny had turned up he’d have wanted you, as you said he had a great time with you.

He was probably just over tired.

Nannarose Tue 17-Jul-18 16:27:20

Oh yes, sometimes it's 'wanting nanny' because she has chocolate biscuits (or a dog to play with, whatever) and you don't. Or sometimes it's 'I'm confused, I thought it was nanny collecting me today'. Sometimes a different colour coat or bag will confuse.

And of course, sometimes it's plain confusion as any reception teacher who is frequently called'mummy' will tell you!

Our little one, same age, asks for 'my potatoes', meaning sweet potato wedges (brother doesn't like them). Then when they are on his plate, he says 'I don't like those'. So I put an ordinary potato wedge next to it, he sees the difference and says 'these are mine they're yum'. But it seems he can't see what they are until he compares them.

Always worth remembering that young children may appear to have good language skills, but don't always quite know how to express themselves! I too think you did absolutely the right thing.

Actually one of my favourite family anecdotes about kids getting different grandmas straight in their mind is about one grandma calling on the other whilst the GC (about 8 I think) was there, and was offered a cup of tea. The GC said 'I wouldn't bother, here you have to wash your hands and sit at the table'!!!!

MrsAJ Tue 17-Jul-18 17:45:07

Thank you for your replies, I knew I was being over-sensitive. I worry so much more about being a good grandparent than I ever did about being a good parent! I just got on with that, life was too busy. Luckily they turned out ok!

Luckygirl Tue 17-Jul-18 18:03:39

Let it wash by you!

SpanielNanny Tue 17-Jul-18 18:09:28

I act a sort of surrogate nanny to two young girls next door. Last summer, the then 3 year old spent a whole afternoon stomping round, sulking and crying saying she wanted daddy. Daddy arrived home from work, and she couldn’t have been less interested, barely gave him a second look and actually asked if she could stay with me! Small children are fickle creatures, don’t take it to heart flowers

BBbevan Tue 17-Jul-18 18:16:51

My GD once told me Nana was kind and I ( Grandma) was bossy.
I was mortified at the time. I know now that Nana never said no to her or her sister, whereas I expected good table manners, proper bed time, etc

Bluegal Tue 17-Jul-18 18:41:00

Another vote for - don’t take it to heart. Just say something like “well you’ve got me today”. Don’t let your GS see it bothers you (kids can be so cruel lol).

Two of my GS’s get alternative pick up from school by me and their Nana. When it’s my turn they run out hugging me and telling me all about their day! When it’s Nana’s turn I am still there picking up their cousins. You would think they didn’t even know me!!! I don’t even get an hello 🤣. Actually I do know she is a lot softer than me but doesn’t bother me what they think do or say. My house my rules 😂

OldMeg Tue 17-Jul-18 18:56:27

Yes, it’s nothing to worry about. Children are like that.

BlueBelle Tue 17-Jul-18 19:01:06

They often want mum if they re with Dad or Dad if they re with Mum
Don’t worry it a phase

Kateykrunch Tue 17-Jul-18 19:54:11

These posts reminded me of this song that my Mum used to sing to my kids:-
Dont push yer Granny off the bus
Dont push yer Granny off the bus
You can push your other Nanny cos shes your Daddies Mammy but dont push your Granny off the bus
Or words to that effect! Lol

Bluegal Tue 17-Jul-18 20:51:37

That’s brought back childhood memories katey sung in a Scottish way “oh ye cannae push yer grannies off a bus” to the tune of “she’ll be coming round the mountain” I think 🤔


stella1949 Tue 17-Jul-18 21:40:41

He probably says "I want Grandma" when he is with his nanny. Don't worry about it.

muffinthemoo Tue 17-Jul-18 21:45:09

Oh ye cannae shove yer granny aff the bus...

Nannarose Tue 17-Jul-18 22:00:59

The wonderful Singing Kettle ensemble. You need to fast forward a couple of minutes to get to the song:

Also worth looking for their version of 10 in a bed - this entertained my children and grandchildren for ages!

Nannarose Wed 18-Jul-18 12:42:47

Just popping back to add that 3 is a good age for the parents to get some sort of calendar or board, put where child can easily see it, and write what is happening on it. (or print up sheets from computer or use calendar on a screen). Use symbols (can be bought or made) and ask the child to tell you what is happening today.
So there could be a symbol for 'nursery day' and one for whoever is picking up. At breakfast / just before leaving, the parent can say "who is picking you up today?" and the child can see the symbol for "grandmaAJ". Won't work instantly or always, but is useful.
Can also be used as reminders for what kit or book etc. is needed as child gets to school age, and encourages self-reliance.

Shortlegs Thu 19-Jul-18 10:17:24

"Am I being over sensitive?"..........Yes.

Edithb Thu 19-Jul-18 10:48:13

My four year old granddaughter was on FaceTime with her nanny, mother’s mum, and pushed me, telling me to go away. Other times she will say she doesn’t want us to go. She sees much more of other grandmother as they go on holiday with her family. I try not to let it affect me and just carry on as normal. No point tryig to compete when you’re on a losing wicket!!

rockgran Thu 19-Jul-18 11:37:15

I remember my grandson at that age crying when he saw us arrive as he was expecting the other grandparents. Turns out he really just wanted their dog!

NonnaW Thu 19-Jul-18 11:39:49

My 3 yr old DGS, whilst waiting outside a shop in the car with his grandad, suggested they just drove home and left me there! When we got home, he tried to shut the gate on me and told me I should stay outside. All done with a smile, and just laughed off by me. I can only think it was prompted by me telling him whilst out that he could have some cake or a ‘special’ drink but not both!

sarahellenwhitney Thu 19-Jul-18 11:43:18

My little brood had nanny's M and H. They' rang rings' around nanny M.
No guessing who was' bestest!!! nanny.

sarahellenwhitney Thu 19-Jul-18 11:45:05

Sorry 'ran rings'

GabriellaG Thu 19-Jul-18 11:50:00

hmm I wouldn't over-exert myself to be as seemingly popular as 'granny'. Children have a subtle way of playing one off against the other, no matter how young they are.
I bet his parents don't do half the things you dream up to keep him amused. Let him have a cardboard box and crayons and leave him too it. Chat as you go about your household business, you are not an entertainer and it's not a competition between GPs.
I despair of parents whose own parents vie to do the most interesting things with the GC.
They can safely sit back knowing that Jack and Jill will be having the time of their lives.
Gawd help them when tbey grow up expecting to be entertained by others. Maybe that's why so many don't thank their GPs for birthday/Christmas and other treats. They know that they will still keep coming so as not to be outdone by the other GPs who may well be doing it for the same reasons.