Behaviour of dgd

etheltbags1 Don't despair too much!

I found this site in first place because I was concerned about my then 4 year old's behaviour. He sounded very much like your GD and like yours, MY daughter was demented! I had brought up six children and non of them were like him so even I hadn't experienced it before. I got similar responses from everywhere i.e. parents fault, don't do enough, bored, you should do this, that the other. Fact is non of it worked with my GS.

I agree, a lot of it has to do with overly bright kids being bored and I think the people who think the solution is an easy one have possibly never had a child who is so wilful? Sometimes it just isn't possible to devote all your time and attention to the one unruly child.

Children DO have to accept certain boundaries and rules no matter what age (for safety issues if not out of respect).

Although I was upset for my daughter which is what I think you are feeling? I found I had to step back a little and resist the urge to 'take over' I found inspiration in a strange place and pointed my daughter in that direction (I won't say where because it is advertising and it is quite controversial way of rearing children) BUT ....found that it helped and with consistency and coupled with finding external activities (such as Taekwando) plus starting school full time, things improved considerably.

He is now quite a delight and a very very intelligent boy. His teachers love him and well....I am such a proud Grandma.

So please do not think you have a grandaughter from hell and things will never change. Lots and lots of people would be able to empathise with you in this.

typo in there! '
family with cousins or friends with children'

I prefer 5* hotels to caravans or tents, but it just wasn't possible when the DC were younger - and they would probably have hated that anyway.

Does she have any cousins or do they have family friends with children similar ages? Some of my family have found it's better to go on holiday and meet up with family or friends cousins so that the only child has someone to play with.

You see Ethel I might have this quite wrong but it sounds as if your daughter has worked her butt off and wants a perfect little family holiday a magazine cover cottage in lovely surroundings mum and dad holding hands while child skips off making daisy chains .... but forget it
‘They don’t like a noisy holiday camp’ ! Really I can count on a hundred hands the things I haven’t liked or wanted to do when entertaining my kids There are plenty of quieter camp sites around that still have kids amenities Bringing up children is a huge sacrifice and I just think that you are all expecting way too much from this little lively bundle and she’s kicking out She’s not a Victorian child doing her needlework

I m really concerned that Ethel feels she has got to ‘save’ the situation by sacrificing her own holidays

Presumably the cottage has a garden - does Daddy go in the garden with her to play games whilst Mummy is preparing a meal or vice versa - what games did they take with them btw? We usually found room in the boot for balls, boules, racquets, frisbees etc.

So she behaves badly when she's taken shopping! What child does enjoy shopping? Plenty of adults find it boring but necessary. How necessary is it to take her to the supermarket?

There is nothing wrong with a holiday in a country cottage - but what some posters are failing to realise is that they went with children - who have each other to play with.

BlueBelle Tue 14-Aug-18 06:33:37 Your post is spot on.

We have experienced both - holidays with children and holidays with a child and believe me, holidaying with just one child is much harder work.
When we had one child left at home (there being an age gap) we did have a dog and, if we went on holiday in the UK, at least the child had the dog as company as well as parents - parents who were willing to play on the beach, go in the sea, fly a kite, play frisbee, beach cricket etc endlessly.

Sometimes it's a choice to have just one child and sometimes it is not.

As for Disney - it doesn't appeal to me but other Granny and the DGC loved it!

Newmom Not letting her go on the donkey ride unless she behaves herself is like setting her up to fail.
That is the expression I was trying to think of yesterday - all this "you can go on the train/the beach/the adventure playground" only if you behave" *is setting her up to fail.
The wrong way to deal with bad behaviour.
Think positive and you may get eagerness and good behaviour.

Can I just ask what’s wrong with Disney?

Granny loves Disney. Aged lover loves Disney. AC love Disney. GC love Disney.

Best family holidays always.......well you get the idea.

Oh we all loved Butlins too.

guess we are just Chavs ??‍♀️?‍♂️??‍♀️?

I agree Riverwalk.
My aunt had a very small cottage in Cornwall across the road from her own house and that was where nearly all our holidays with the DC were spent.
I suppose the fact that there were 3 of them made it slightly easier in that we could let them wander off and explore the woods, or plague my aunt, until we were ready to go out for the day.
They had no iPads or computer games of course but they were perfectly happy with their books and games till it was time to go to the beach, or a National Trust place where we could have a picnic, or just a walk along the cliff path or across the moors.
Not a theme park in sight
They loved it.

Not letting her go on the donkey ride unless she behaves herself is like setting her up to fail. Do the donkey ride first, let her have her fun and then if she misbehaves introduce consequences (going home). Shes 5 and pushing boundaries, you know she's most likely not going to behave the entire time so why hold the donkey ride over her head. She's most likely bored of being with her parents the majority of the time, towards the end of summer as well, when she's used to being surrounded by other kids at school. Taking her to places she can run around with other kids may help. I don't think it's that the holiday cottage isn't suitable for a child, but that one on their own may be bored if there's not a lot to entertain them. That's why most people take children to butlins and other child friendly holiday parks. We have a 1 year old and went to a quieter one this year as we know we don't have long left before we end up going somewhere with more entertainment for DD.

It sounds almost as if her dads family are spoiling her and yours expect her to behave like a little grown up. She's 5, some are more exhausting than others, she's pushing boundaries because she knows she can and she's probably testing what will happen as her parents aren't on the same page. They need to decide what the boundaries are, stick to them and tell both sets of grandparents what the non negotiable rules are for her, so you can all stick to them.

But if she's running off and driving them crazy at the moment then take her to a soft play! She can run around and exhaust herself there.

Am I missing something here - half a dozen posters have said that a holiday cottage is not a suitable holiday for a child. Why ever not?

Surely many families stay in country cottages during the summer. There are numerous activities you can do in the country with children; presumably there is a garden and child-friendly activities in the area.

How the child is being handled is a different matter, but I'm just confused about a cottage holiday not being suitable!

A holiday cottage is not top of every child's wish list, you should see the photos of eldest GD's face when she is away. Youngest happily follows Daddy on yomps across the countryside but elder is now looking for more glamorous locations.
I used to let the GC push one of those kiddie trolleys and they could shop for the small items and a small treat for them when they had collected all the required items.

We agreed when the children were young that holidays would be suitable for them and we could do our own thing when they were older. I asked my younger daughter when she was grown up how she had enjoyed our family holidays. Her reply was ' they were good Mum but if I never see another castle it will be too soon ' so much for the educational aspect.

What is wrong with these people who can't manage to combine an adults and childs activities on holiday. It's not difficult as BlueBelle says you just have to do things that entertain the child. I had two boys with an eight year gap and managed to entertain them throughout the summer holidays every year. So what if the things they found interesting weren't exactly my cup of tea, they were my kids and it was my job and actually we had a great time. Are these people so lacking in imagination?

It sounds as if one side of the family (SiL and his parents) let her have her own way and run wild while your side expect her to behave. She will obviously lean towards the side who lets her have her own way and push the boundaries she doesn’t like. Perhaps DD should get a bad headache and tell SiL to take her shopping once or twice!

On Nanabilly’s list the key points that seem to perhaps gone astray are With Rules, With Set Boundaries and - With Togetherness. A united parental front is essential!

She sounds more than ready for school and will change a lot once she’s there so don’t commit to holidaying with them next year - and don’t give up on your cruise!

When you have a lively intelligent child on their own you have to spend 90 % or more of your time doing things with them You cannot have an adult couple holiday with a child in tow Shopping, going to supermarkets, walking around are completely no no’s, going to the beach is only workable if you play with the child, chase it, build castles, fly a kite, kick a ball, go swimming if you sit there together and expect the child to sit and play alone it isn’t going to work at all, she ll wander off or climb the rocks or run into the sea or have a melt down
This child is misbehaving because she sounds bored out of her intelligent little head
I m not anything special but I used to take three kids away on my own and when the two older ones were too old to want to come I took the younger ones best friend with us as there was no way I could keep her entertained

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Also, I wouldn't be promising to take her out when she got back from a holiday where she had not behaved herself, but that's just me.
P.S my daughter was a real cow when she was small too!

Barring a serious medical issue, two adults can reasonably be expected to parent their own five year old for a week.

If they can’t manage her on holiday, how the hell are they managing at home?

BlueBelle, unfortunately some couples will not forget the 'couple thing' - DD and SIL still go away without DGS but DD and I take DGS to the beach, zoo etc. for days out. He has not been on holiday yet but when he does I bet my life I will be taken along for nannying duties ?
Ethel your DD sounds a bit like mine, expecting you to sort out her child as just another problem she has - I could be mistaken ?

Got to agree.
Surely two adults can cope with one small child for a week?

Ethel why do you have to put off your holiday to go with them surely your daughter and her husband can handle one child for a week without you having to go along with them They just need to book a family irientated holiday where there are other children to play with and lots to do and either have a ‘couple’ weekend alone or forget the couple thing until she is older like most people have to

Have read your comments with interest and yes they do child centred activities. Thete is a beach not far away and are taking her tomortow and if she behaves she is going on a donkey ride etc. Thats what i did with dd . She just gets badly behaved when she foes to shops etc. Ive promised to take her out when she gets back and next year i will go along too. My dreams of a cruise are fast dissapearing

About the party when my kids were young parents dropped them off at parties and picked them up at a certain time I don’t understand why parents or grandparents have to stay with them

Gosh no Ethel I m sure your family is no different to any other but surely you can imagine a holiday in a cottage is a grown up holiday it’s really not a holiday most kids would enjoy unless they took another kid with them to play with

A cottage holiday for your daughter and husband if they were leaving the little one with you or the other grandparents for a few days and somewhere with a playground or a kids club or a beach or maybe an indoor swimming pool if taking your granddaughter
Some children are quiet and will enjoy just wandering around with mum and dad but the majority of lively full on kids would be bored out of their heads
When I took my kids on holiday we used to go camping and that kept them busy it was the only holiday i could ever afford but if you pick a good campsite there’s usually a games room and often a pool and they get to play with other children.
I think she is much too young to take on such a grown up holiday although I m sure your daughter booked it in good faith of having an ideal family holiday
Don’t worry it ll all come out in the wash