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Behaviour of dgd

(108 Posts)
etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:31:33

My dd and partner are on holiday. Dgd has been really badly behaved dd is at her wits end. I dont know how to help. Little one has been getting worse lately will not do as shes told. She wont come back. Runs off in supermarket.tells us she hates us.kicks.bites. there is nothing we can do to stop her. She wont listen. She will sit on the naughty step laughing at us. I had to restrain her in the shop with 2 hands so dd could go thro checkout. It is do unfair that dd should have her holiday spoiled like this.we asked dgd to be good. What on earth has got into her.

ContraryMary88 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:36:17

You don’t say how old the little darling is ethel ?

cornergran Mon 13-Aug-18 17:42:52

Was there a trigger for the change in her behaviour? How long has it been going on? It sounds like serious boundary testing. Sort of appropriate if she’s 2, less so if she’s 5. Sorry, ethel, not sure how to help with this. She does sound seriously hard work. It’s a good job we love them.

etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:43:02

Dgd is 4 coming up 6 in december

wildswan16 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:43:46

Depends on how old she is. Maybe she doesn't like holidays, having her routine interrupted, being stuck in cars/trains/planes for hours. Overtired. Confused as to where she is. Different food, different water, different bed.

What are you doing on "her" holiday - is she on a beach, swimming, playing with mum etc etc. She's trying to tell you something.

etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:45:21

The dad doesnt get involved unlesd shes rude to him directly. The other gran and grandad spoil her unbelievably. Dd has no say in what they do as partner will not back her up.

BlueBelle Mon 13-Aug-18 17:47:45

Well asking her to be good won’t make much difference
It depends how old she is if she’s two or three then it sounds fairly normal, supermarkets can be very boring so depending on her age make her responsible for collecting. finding, ticking off things make her a list if she’s too young to read draw the things she’s to find if she s older write it in fairly big writing
I always found the gold stars chart much more productive than naughty step not keen on that one at all If the child is full of life curiosity and vigour sitting on a step won’t make them improve, my feelings are the naughty step may work for a compliant child but for a little firy one won’t
try and include her in learning as you go round shops or on car rides walks etc like an eye spy game or adding up but it will all depend on how old she is

cornergran Mon 13-Aug-18 17:48:23

Hmm. I’m settling on the change of routine and back to boundary testing. Coukd there have been a sort of emotional growth spurt she is as confused with as you all are? Is she beginning school in September? Could that be a factor? I think I’d be considering when it began and what was happening in her life. Is it worth a gentle chat? Ask what’s troubling her? Good luck with it. Certainly a challenging time.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:49:50

If she's not normally like this then it could be the change in routine as wildswan16 says.
Can you find some holiday activities that she will enjoy - are you at the seaside? Could you take her on the beach to make sandcastles while her mum does the food shopping? Find a play park so that she can run around and get rid of some pent-up energy?

My younger DGD used to like the naughty step and take herself off to sit on it when she knew she'd overstepped the boundaries, whereas DGS would howl and make an enormous fuss if made to sit there to calm down!

Asking her to be good may not be the right tactic imo - trykeeping her busy and happy doing things she enjoys. Even supermarket shopping can be made enjoyable if you chat, let her choose some fruit she likes, help to put things in the trolley etc.

Willow500 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:50:31

Is she always like this or is it something that happens at odd times - wondering if she could be allergic to one of the food additives. It sounds as if she's hyper which might be triggered by something in a drink or food. Has she just started school recently and maybe being bullied so taking it out on her parents. My eldest granddaughter was badly bullied at 5 and they had to move schools unbelievably at that age!

No real help I'm afraid - how sad your daughter's holiday is being spoiled though.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:51:35

Make life fun - and you may find that you and your DD enjoy the holiday too.

FlexibleFriend Mon 13-Aug-18 17:53:02

I don't understand 4 coming up 6, what?
Are you all on holiday together Gd, daughter you her dad and other GP's ?
If so I'd gladly dump her on those that spoil her and let them deal with her.
If her partner won't back her up leave him to deal with her.
Wash your hands of her behaviour, they've created it so let them sort it out while you two take yourselves off somewhere nice every day.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:01:12

She'll be starting school in September then ethel!!
Not long to go smile

etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:01:46

Im not with them or i would look after her to let dd and him go off for the day. Dd txt me sounding at her wits end. Dgd might be bored without the structure of her day. She goes back into year 1 in september. Shes quite bright reads and writes well and can do simple percentages and counting etc. She was bad before the hols. I took her to a party and she ignored me almost the whole time refusing to go home till everyone else had gone. I just wish there was a boundary beyond which she cannot go.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:03:03

My goodness, she's pushing the boundaries!! Kind firmness and don't give in imo.

Of course, after a year at school they are extremely tired at the end of the summer term.

BlueBelle Mon 13-Aug-18 18:05:00

I m not surprised your granddaughter acting up she’s obviously very confused ^she 4 coming up to 6 in December^😂😂😂
Seriously though you re not giving much info are they on holiday at home, away, overseas, altogether, just mum and dad?
If mum and dad can’t agree on how to bring her up and if both grandparents are at polar ends she will be confused and act up there definitely needs some continuity or she will just get worse as she gets older

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:06:15

Where are they and is there a holiday club so that she can play with other children?

It's hard work taking little children on holiday - even when you're young.

BlueBelle Mon 13-Aug-18 18:08:05

Your other post wasn’t there when I posted my one so now I know they are away on their own You can’t do anything from afar I would think she scvery bright and probably bothered and not knowing what to put her energies into

BlueBelle Mon 13-Aug-18 18:09:11

Blimey sorry ‘ very bright and probably bored’
Oh for an edit button GN

FlexibleFriend Mon 13-Aug-18 18:09:15

So where is dad? why is he not entertaining his daughter while mum does the shopping or better still he could do the shopping.
Supermarkets are not the place for a showdown so avoid them. She's on holiday and holidays should be fun so someone needs to organise some fun while the other adult does the chores. I don't blame her acting up, sounds to me like dad's not pulling his weight.

etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:17:15

She is 5 nearly 6. They are in yorkshire somewhere with a holiday cottage. Just her and parents. The other gp s want to take her to disneyland. I am horrifies as she runs off so much. She has no fear of anyone or anything.

BlueBelle Mon 13-Aug-18 18:42:02

She’d will be bored out of her head with mum and dad in a cottage sorry to say this but that’s a grown ups holiday not a 5 year olds idea of fun

FlexibleFriend Mon 13-Aug-18 19:29:41

Well that's not what your average 5 year old would choose for a holiday so I dunno why they're surprised she's playing up.

MissAdventure Mon 13-Aug-18 19:35:19

Its not just on this holiday though.
It sounds like there aren't too many boundaries imposed for her to push, and children soon find any loophole in their parents discipline ideas.

etheltbags1 Mon 13-Aug-18 19:50:19

Bluebelle. What kind of holiday can appeal to grown ups and kids. Dd runs herself ragged to try to please partner and child. They went to a holiday centre earlier this year but i went and i was happy to babysit. The grown ups really dont like the noise and bustle of the holiday park. Anyone got a magic wand. I must have the most dysfunctional family ever