How to stop going on crying

Another cryer here, always have been, sometimes for the most stupid trivial reasons. There are times though when I'd rather not have red blotchy eyes and a beacon nose (news item on the way to work for example) so, to answer your question, I try to distract myself and block out the sad thoughts. A favourite playlist can get me singing and cheered up in no time or, if I can, getting immersed in a book or phoning a friend helps. Also, I find if I'm tired I'm more prone to being weepy so I am trying to get more sleep. It's good to get grief out of the system but for the 'trivial' crying (weepy movies for example) it helps to get it out of your head. Very sorry about your cat, although it must have had such a happy life with you to live so long.

I well remember blundering down the street crying my eyes out as I hunted and hunted for my wee cat Teenie. She never turned up. We think she was stolen. My poor children were young then and I remember them doing their best to console me which made us all cry even worse. Pets are well loved members of the family.
Do you have other cats about the house?

I think it's perfectly natural to cry following the loss of your cat, and also, it happened suddenly. It's not a thing we all talk abut usually, so people all think they are weird for crying.

At the end of the menopause I did cry a lot, partly as there were awful things going on in my life. I hated it, I am not a pretty cryer! In fact today I was watching long lost families, and again there were tears.

After a while I try and do something, or go out for a drive with the windows down, just to take my mind off it all.

No shame in crying for whatever reason. I cry when happy , sad , frustrated angry. Why not ?
I have a good friend whose Husband died last summer. She isn’t able to let go and cry. She seems to have turned into herself . I do wish I could help her in some way but her barriers are high.

I have always cried very easily but I laugh easily too!

'Tears are the blood of an emotional wound' you have a wound, your beloved pet has died so cry all you want.

" Jobey68 Wed 15-Aug-18 18:46:02

I've found I cry more now I'm getting older".
I once saw an interview with Warren Mitchell (Till Death ...) and he was asked about how he felt about getting old. He said I cry a lot more.
Another thing he said - If I wake up in the morning without any aches and pains I think 'I must be dead'.

I cry ...a lot! I actually 'like crying' I think! I cry at stupid things though....like happy endings in movies rather than sad endings? e.g. I cried buckets at Apollo 13 and every time I see it ..I still cry.......... lots of other examples too.

I cried at every single school performance of my children (to the point they said I couldn't go IF I was going to cry)

I also cry when I am in confrontation from anyone - such as at work. I think it is really ANGER but it comes out as crying. To me, its better than 'thumping' someone!!!

I have cried when lost people or pets too.

Actually I think I cry a lot but it doesn't bother me...it is MY way of coping and it isn't anything I've worried about.

I've found I cry more now I'm getting older and especially since the next generation of little ones has started to come along, just thinking about them can set me off! Only this morning my niece rang me in tears as she was unwell and her little girl was screaming for attention , I was in tears before I got off the phone too!
I love my pets and we both cry buckets when we lose one, there is nothing wrong with being emotional, if more people let their feelings out Im sure the world would be a happier place Xx

Grandetante, no wonder you are so tearful at the moment.
Your beloved cat has died.
When we have lost any of our cats, my partner and I have been inconsolable. The worst was when we had to have our darling old boy, our 18.5 year old cat put down a few years ago. My partner, a tough, strong man broke down and absolutely sobbed his heart out, along with me in the vets as we said our final goodbyes.
What you are feeling is normal grief. Accept it because it is part of the grieving process, and so important to be able to move on. Hugs to You xx

I cry much more now I m older perhaps there aren’t as many releases as when we re young and when you live alone there are fewer distractions I cry watching tv I cry if I m frustrated I get hurt more easily although people never see me cry so don’t please imagine I m walking around a blubbering wreck as I m not I bet if you asked any of my friends they d never think of me as a cryer

You can set a time limit on your crying, after which go and make a cuppa, or go for a walk, put music on, or do something to signal to yourself that its time to stop.

I cry more now I am older Grandtant especially when I am angry which is frustrating.
Our pets are such a big part of our lives, we are going to cry and grieve when they die you are not alone in that. You have my sympathy.
I agree scribbles I am not an attractive cryer either, I'm just as you describe, no film star type crying for me.

Anything to do with WW2 makes me cry.
I was sitting in the library the other day reading a book about WW2 on Tyneside, lots of photos, and I kept welling up and crying.
Hope no-one noticed.

I'm not a cryer but if one of my pets dies I weep buckets and why shouldn't I when they've been a massive part of my life for so long. I usually try not to upset others so do my crying in the shower in privacy and get it out of my system. Personally I think others should be supportive but if not just go with the flow and sod anyone who doesn't approve. Personally crying gives me a headache and makes me feel sick so I do my best to avoid it. I've never understood having a good cry making you feel better but if it does good for you, just don't feel as though you shouldn't do it. It's a perfectly normal reaction.

I cry at everything and anything, I cannot remember a day when I have not cried. I do find it makes it worse if I try to stop. The only thing I have found that helps somewhat is to keep my mind occupied even something simple like meal planning for a week or listing family birthdays in my head.
When I am out I tend to say I have hayfever which makes my eyes run.

grandtante I'm so very sorry to hear about your cat - very pertinent to me at the moment, as you know - so I'm not surprised that you're overwhelmed with crying.

I'm another one who always bottled stuff up, was always the 'coper' in the family, got everybody else through, and then paid the price.

We really need to rid ourselves of our stiff upper lip sometimes and just let go, it's nature's way really, isn't it?

I tend to well up more with happy events or happy endings etc.

You need the square brackets ethel.

I trief to send flowers emoticon but doest work. Hugs instead x

So sorry to hear about the cat (flowers) my 2 old cats are near their time and i dread it

Grandtante, I'm sorry about your puss. Cry as much as you need; it's not wrong or strange and he/she wasn't "just a cat" but part of your family. (((Hugs))).

I do understand what you say about crying more easily and for longer since the menopause. With me, it started shortly before the menopause and I spent my early 50s feeling like a sobbing heap. (Yes, I did get myself checked out for signs of clinical depression but was given a clean bill of health. ) The slightest thing would set me off and, as a previously reasonably well balanced person, I hated being like this.

It has got a little better in 15 years but I can still cry for hours over weird things like a broken coffee mug on occasion. My poor OH simply can't handle it. He understands grief at a death and will try to comfort me but what he sees as pointless crying just aggravates him and he'll go out rather than exacerbate things by telling me to get over it.

If I'm going to be a cryer, I wish I could be an attractive one! Not for me the big, brimming eyes and gentle tears trickling slowly over cheeks. I get swollen eyelids, bloodshot eyes, blotchy skin and snot everywhere. It doesn't seem fair. You are definitely not alone, GT.

It's not often I cry properly - maybe a couple of tears at something sad on tv or at a funeral (2 this month!) but I was almost beside myself when one of my cats died 7 years ago. I've lost pets before and one since but he was a different kind of cat and I was devastated. You're perfectly entitled to cry whenever you feel the need - there are no right or wrong times and for some it comes easier than for others.

I'm so sorry for your sadness

Thanks for all the sympathy. I do realise that crying is better than bottling grief up, but I would still like to be able to stop sooner, so that I don't get to the stage of feeling as if I have a bad cold in the head.

You are probably right Paddyann that there are lots of things that I didn't take the time to mourn properly in the past.

People who are depressed cry for no obvious reason - you have a very good reason to be sad. I am sorry you have lost your feline friend. You cry - it is what you need.

I totally understand that paddyann We have never had animals but my sister has always had cats. She had a much beloved one for years and she had to take several days off work when he died. She said that people thought she was mad but that cat had been with her through thick and thin when she felt alone.