Have you ever seriously considered suicide?

nanny22. Please keep talking to us here if you need to unload. Glad to hear your husband is your rock. ?
Judyjudy12 I'm glad you have never found yourself in the deepest darkest abyss - the tunnel with no light. It is the most painful place to be even though you would feel completely numb to any emotion you may have experienced previously. I really hope that never happens to you but please understand anyone who finds themselves there has not been on a journey of choice.

nanny23 I know where you are coming from and I am so sorry but if it would help please message me if you would like someone to listen. Best wishes xx

Muffin you are important, you would be missed, your children love you.

I have been on different ocassions very tired of what life has thrown at me and very tired of living and would have liked not to wake up.
My daughter took her own life,she couldnt see anyway out of her situation she was 23 and left me with her 4 year old daughter,this was 15 years ago,the aftermath still stays with unanswered questions,the not getting to say goodbye.
Please speak to someone OP get the support you need,I understand life must be very difficult for you to be having those thoughts,I hope the support from those on this thread helps you

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Nanny23 sometimes it's hard to see a way forward when you are beset by problems. Take support from your husband and other people mentioned on here. There is no shame in telling people how low you feel.

Judy that was one of the most insensitive replies I have seen on GN. Please God you will never suffer from depression.

I think it is more common than believed, to think about it I certainly have at times but know I could never do anything a) I m not brave enough and b) I couldn’t bear to leave my family with unanswered questions and change their life for ever, so serious thoughts, no. I have some friends like Stree who have made a plan if they get too incapable to live their life without a lot of intervention however how serious they are I don’t know
I think most people who commit suicide have lost their ability to think about anything but their pain and their necessity to be released and to release their family, their brain is so consumed there is no sideway thought of what they are leaving behind or the effect on others or that there is a way forward, that thought process has all gone, its beyond their comprehension by this stage, I think the brain must shut down completely by their all consuming pain before they actually do whatever they do
Thinking about it is just a realistic approach to managing life and in most cases is never acted on
Nanny23 knows she has lots of wonderful things in her life her caring husband for one she is also able to verbalise her feelings which means she has cognitive control she will get through her problems

If making a call to the Samaritans is too difficult, you can text and someone will text back.
07725 909090.

Yes, a few attempts. Mostly in childhood but a couple of goes as an adult.

What stopped me was error in each attempt. Used wrong sort of pills etc.

I don’t think it would have been any loss to anyone if I had succeeded, mother has often encouraged me in attempts. I have small children now and that has altered that equation for me as they would definitely miss me.

My heart goes out to anyone who is or has been in despair. Not wishing in any way to minimise risk it’s important to remember there is a long way between suicidal thoughts, maybe not minding if one doesn’t wake up in the morning, and having a plan and intent to end ones life. Can I echo others wisdom? If life seems so very hard please reach out, Samaritans are always there, other agencies too and of course GP’s will have listened to others in a similar place. Please don’t be frightened to seek help.

Not just one urge, by the way, it was often!

I read in Bob Geldof's biography that he had an urge to jump in front of a train.
Not because he was unhappy, just a fleeting thought about what it would be like.
A bit spine tingly..

gilly

When I was suffering from a serious depression, I felt so very ILL - I did not feel sad, or anxious,or frightened - I just felt overwhelmingly ILL to the point where life was unbearable. I pleaded with my OH to let me go as the suffering was indescribable. I have never felt anything like it before or since - it came from nowhere - and my abiding fear is that it might return. I did not wnat to take my life - but I did not want life to endure in the terrible state I was in.

It was thought to have been precipitated by before surgery suddenly stopping a minute dose of anti-depressant that I was taking to prevent migraine - stopping it abruptly had the most disastrous effect. I really would not wish it on anyone.

Perfectly put.

Becuse of my condition, state of health, call it what you will, apart from tablets, capsules, inhaler and such, I have a bottle of liquid morphine, for self administration...........I get enough for a month at a time.enough to drop a horse..........and my current state means that I do get rather, lets say, fed up.
I have looked at that bottle knowing that if drunk in one, well that would be it. and being selfish, the relief appeals.....but only fleetingly.... The cost is too high... I know there is a tomorrow, and my not being around would cause pain and confusion, worst of all self doubt and self questioning by those closest who would take my actions as a fault of their own..........and I cannot bear to contemplate the anguish of children and grandchildren.
Then again, this is only a mental exercise for me, in my lowest moments. Brought about by feeling ( and actually being to a great extent) useless, and needing help and care all the time.....This does not sit easily with me after being independent, self sufficient, a provider.
Now this is not an unusual position, many life stories are same and or similar, although everyones life story has its owns turns and nuances, we are all in essence the same. We need, we hope, we fear, we care, we have our strengths and limits.but it is not for any of us to judge another and condemn them for selfishness should the darkest corner of their life be reached.
But how to convince others to pour that bottle down the sink may not be so easy, we all suffer differently.

Gillybob, ?.... Xx

Someone I love very much is feeling like this right know. It’s just too much to bear.

I agree Silverlining, the last thing anyone at the end of their resources needs is to be told they are just self centred.....Not the best mediation or negotiation tool. Even as a poor shock tactic. Smacks to me of religious intolerance.

I have never given suicide a serious thought, but the thought of it has gone through my mind on a couple of occasions, when I was deeply unhappy, but never more than a thought.

judy, when someone reaches the point of committing suicide, they are way beyond thinking of themselves, most are thinking only of those they love and all the harm and misery they believe their continued living is doing to them, they are suffering such extreme mental anguish that death seems to be the best way to bring peace to themselves and their families. Difficult for anyone in good mental health to comprehend but utterly rational to someone seriously mentally ill.

I had an uncle who first took an overdose of his medication for anxiety, which was not a drug suitable for that purpose so he just had a few daays feeling dopey and then tried to die by self neglect, not eating or caring for himself. Thankfully that is a slow and ineffective way of killing yourself and we were able to intervene and save him from himself.

Nanny23, ring the Samaritans if things get bad, you can talk anonymously, for as long as you like, and know it will go no further.

Nanny23. Please reach out, please x

I have seriously never given suicide a thought.

*Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness, anybody that has lost someone will know the devastation of losing a loved one, you would not want that for your worst enemy.

People that die this way must be beyond thinking of anyone but themselves.*

Judy that is an astoundingly insensitive reply to the OP ....and unfortunately the first one that she will read!! I am genuinely shocked!

I’ve never not wanted to be alive and consider myself fortunate. Post natal depression pushed me down a long way, but not that low. Without a loving family to recognise it I wouldn’t have had the help I needed and things may have been very different.

I’m so very glad you’re doing ok now Annie

I haven't considered killing myself, but have thought I have had enough of life a couple of times.
I think if I could have gone to sleep and not woken up, it may have been a temptation.