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Good time girl

(64 Posts)
nananina Fri 19-Oct-18 12:57:26

My 18 year old DGD is at uni - she's a sensible, caring young woman. She has herr first boyfriend and the same for hi.m. He's a lovely young man and we've all taken to him. However his mother is rather controlling and he asks her if he can go out etc, He is 18 next March. The mother asked her son where A (DGD) was and he is and he said she was out with her friends and his mother commented "Oh she's a good time girl................" I may be over reacting as I know what it means to me and it means nothing nowadays. Can you tell me what it means to you or maybe the connotations it brings to mind.

Baggs Sun 21-Oct-18 12:12:49

Thank you, PECS, but it's not Nancy Sinatra. I've been doing some searches and have discovered it's a very common term in song lyrics but not the actual song yet. I've got MrBags on the search too. I think it must be from the 60s or 70s as I haven't heard much pop music since then–not my thing.

I hummed the tune to MrB and he recognised it so it's not just my memory playing tricks grin.

Iam64 Sun 21-Oct-18 12:17:44

henetha, es, its exactly that - like 'no better than she ought to be' (or round here "fur coat and no nickers' if someone really took against the young woman)

Yes, nina I do feel you're over reacting and possibly over involved given your comments above. This is a first boy friend, unlikely to be the last in her 3 years at university. Like many friends, we became very fond of one boyfriend and missed him when he fell out of favour.

Jalima1108 Sun 21-Oct-18 12:36:18

I'm sure, if your DGD has a mind of her own, she will hear warning bells loud and clear if her BF is controlled by his mother.
She's only 18 and he's even younger; I do have friends who met at this age (and younger) and have been married for years but they are the exception.

There are several different songs with Good Time Girl in the title or lyrics, yes, Nancy Sinatra did sing one version. However, she was the girl waiting in the wings for when the fellow got fed up with the 'good-time girl' hmm.

DH's Gran used to say 'All fur coat and no knickers" grin - I thought it meant all show but nothing to boast about.

grumppa Sun 21-Oct-18 12:43:13

Or "gay, fun-loving" as in Private Eye's "gay, fun-loving Rita Chevrolet" many years ago.

Fennel Sun 21-Oct-18 12:56:53

There's Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl, .......looking for a Downtown Boy."

Day6 Sun 21-Oct-18 13:04:34

I thought Eglantine's post was perfectly fair.
The 'she said this' investigation into the words of the mother of your daughter's new boyfriend strikes me as strange. Some people look for offence.

Let it run. They are young adults finding their way. Don't make his mother the enemy at this stage. Talk about the infancy of a family fued...... <eyeroll>

Life is too short.

Day6 Sun 21-Oct-18 13:09:14

grandaughter even.

paddyann Sun 21-Oct-18 13:47:24

He's only 17 ,some boys at that age are very immature .His mother will likely know him better than his new girfriend does and many of us ,me included kept a close eye on our 17 year olds .

Baggs Sun 21-Oct-18 14:07:26

That's the one, Fennel! I had misremembered Up-town! It's a very memorable tune and rhythm even for a pop ignoramus like me.

Thank you!

notanan2 Sun 21-Oct-18 15:08:15

I have never heard that term used in a complimentary way!
But really it is the BF not his mother who is to blame for any resulting offence because what exactly did he think would be gained from reporting this back to his girlfriend. Silly boy!
Either he is silly & naive or the less generous interpretation would be that he actually enjoys the two main women in his life squabbling over him. Some men do, but due to his age I'll give benefit of the doubt and say its the former.

M0nica Sun 21-Oct-18 16:04:39

Good time girl is definitely pejorative as a description means much the same as no better than she ought to be
I gather that is how my paternal grandmother described my mother because she wore make up and liked going to the theatre and ballet.

DF ignored his mother and married her anyway and it was a long and happy marriage.

NanKate Sun 21-Oct-18 16:16:46

To answer your question Kitty something with purple feathers or ribbons and I will be ready to party the night away. The boys will be saying ‘Don’t take any notice of Nan she is always like this after a rum and coke’. 🤪

luluaugust Sun 21-Oct-18 17:56:32

I can only imagine this boy's mother learnt the phrase from her grandmother, it goes back to at least the 1920's and is just so old-fashioned, whilst it obviously means a girl who goes out and has a good time it does have a rather nasty underlying meaning which should not be used for a modern 18 year old girl. I suggest mama does not understand the full meaning!

notanan2 Sun 21-Oct-18 17:59:33

Doesnt it essentially mean that men can have their fun with her but shouldnt marry her?

Melanieeastanglia Sun 21-Oct-18 20:20:26

Henetha - I think you're right. It is about the same as "No better than she should be". Neither expression is very kind.

Beau Sun 21-Oct-18 20:55:26

I think the mum knows exactly what it means but I suspect the son repeated it in innocence, not knowing the real meaning of such an old fashioned expression. The mum sounds quite intimidating tbh 😕

grannyactivist Sun 21-Oct-18 22:51:50

his mother is rather controlling and he asks her if he can go out
Controlling? How?
When my son was seventeen and a half and going out with an eighteen year old they were both still at school. So, I'm swimming against the tide here by saying that I would have expected my son to check with me about whether it was okay to go out; in our house it was just regarded as good manners to ask permission and also to say where they would be going and with whom. It was a habit that started when my children were young and one that had their best interests at heart - and none of my children have ever thought that it was a measure of control.

Is it just me then?

MrsAllboys Sun 21-Oct-18 23:28:31

nananina and grannyactivist. When my son was that age he was still at boarding school. He was just beginning to do social things and when at home for hols would say that he had been invited to or wished to do, whatever. As I was familiar with his friends I had no problem with this and would say ‘ok’. He did not have to say ‘please may I’ (the way I had to at that age). But, he did sort of want my approval and I wouldn’t have been happy if he had just presented me with a fait accompli. I do not think that as a loving and concerned grandma you nananina are wrong to be supportive of your granddaughter but I think that the young boy will be fine once he is a wee bit older and at university. That’s one of the best things about it....your parents don’t know what you are up to!!

kittylester Mon 22-Oct-18 06:03:16

You'll look gorgeous Kate! grin

NanKate Mon 22-Oct-18 07:12:05

Thank you Kitty I might be tottering about a bit if I make it to the boys’ weddings. Here’s hoping.

knickas63 Mon 22-Oct-18 08:44:08

There are clearly so many different types of families out there. What some consider close and normal, others consider overbearing and obtrusive. We are all very different! I come from a large, rumbuctious, and extremely close family. We have frequent and open communication and we know (probably!) all of each others business - which is different to interering! Questioning or worrying slightly about someones opinion of someone you care about, especially if that opinion could effect them, is not abnormal. Acting on it without being asked is a different matter. I suspect the BF mother is starting to feel the beginnings of a loss of control.

Eglantine21 Mon 22-Oct-18 09:15:32

Well I’m going to go against the tide too and I know nananina will be even more cross with me but I’m going to say it anyway.

I think it’s a battle for control. I don’t think it’s just the BFs mother here.

My feeling is tha nananina also sees her granddaughter moving towards independence. She wants to maintain her close family. She is happy to absorb the boyfriend into her family but doesn’t want her granddaughter becoming part of the boyfriends family.

The best way to achieve this is to find cause for offence and set everyone, including the son, against his mother. Then he will look to nananinas family rather than his own.

I found the comment that hopefully “When he is eighteen he will see sense” ie cut out his mother from his life and just be with the posters family, particularly nasty.

It’s not something I have experienced myself but I have stood on the sidelines and seen it happen.

A viewpoint depends on where you stand

‘My family is close. Yours is controlling.”

Or vice versa.

M0nica Mon 22-Oct-18 09:17:11

This young man isn't at school, he is at university. DH was 17, just short of 18 when he went to university over 200 miles away. He certainly wasn't asking for his parents permission every time he went out.

When he was at home his DM would not be expecting him to ask permission every time he went out either, although, as a matter of courtesy he would always mention where he was going and roughly when he would be back.

Maggiemaybe Mon 22-Oct-18 09:32:11

Ah, me the phrase brings back memories of a saloon girl costume I once wore to a fancy dress party. Feathered headband, high heels and a purple taffeta dress hitched up at one side to show the tiny gun tucked in my fishnet stocking top. DH went as a cowboy, of course. Happy days! smile

Seriously, I wouldn’t worry, nananina. She probably just meant that your DGD likes to go out and have a good time, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that, whatever age we are.

Eglantine21 Mon 22-Oct-18 09:46:18

He’s not at university MOnica. The girlfriend is but he is probably studying for A levels. Perhaps his parents are worrying that he won’t get his grades because of time spent away.