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Good time girl

(63 Posts)
nananina Fri 19-Oct-18 12:57:26

My 18 year old DGD is at uni - she's a sensible, caring young woman. She has herr first boyfriend and the same for hi.m. He's a lovely young man and we've all taken to him. However his mother is rather controlling and he asks her if he can go out etc, He is 18 next March. The mother asked her son where A (DGD) was and he is and he said she was out with her friends and his mother commented "Oh she's a good time girl................" I may be over reacting as I know what it means to me and it means nothing nowadays. Can you tell me what it means to you or maybe the connotations it brings to mind.

Bridgeit Fri 19-Oct-18 13:02:27

Depends on the tone of voice it is said with. A cheerful ‘ she’s a good time girl’ is fine, but if said in a dissapproving voice as In oh she she’s a good time girl by the sounds of it !
Then there could be trouble ahead 😏

Anniebach Fri 19-Oct-18 13:05:28

Why did he repeat what his mother said

Bridgeit Fri 19-Oct-18 13:17:40

Good point Annibach, let’s hope he said something along the lines ‘ ohh you’ll never guess what my Mum said’ & laughed about it .

GrannyGravy13 Fri 19-Oct-18 13:19:33

Another mother who cannot let her son go!!

Greyduster Fri 19-Oct-18 13:34:54

He should man up and tell her the remark was unacceptable!

FlexibleFriend Fri 19-Oct-18 13:40:48

You don't know what she meant so why take offence. Ignore her and what she said.

lemongrove Fri 19-Oct-18 14:16:41

Is this a joke?

Eglantine21 Fri 19-Oct-18 14:27:55

Sorry to say this but you are way, way too involved in what is your Granddaughters relationship.

I would have been horrified if my grandmother started fretting about my teenage boyfriends.

And you think his mother is controlling..........

nananina Sun 21-Oct-18 02:01:21

No I don't know the tone of voice as I wasn't there and I have no idea why the BR told DGD. He usually tells her nice things that his mother has said. Hmm greyduster you never spoke a truer word. He is afraid of asking his mother if he can go out in the evening and whether he can stay over at DGD's Uni - we're hoping when he's 18 he'll see sense. But why do you think the remark was unacceptable Greyduster among the older generation.

FlexibleFriend I'm not offended but I just wanted to know what others think /

Eglantine you make a decision based on a few lines of text. I am not way way too involved in my DGD's boyfriend. I have a very close relationship and she confides in me. She wasn't telling me this because she was worrried, it was simply the words "good time girl" have connotations for me. I was a social worker for 30 years and the birthmother of babies to be adopted were often described as "good time girls" only a few steps away from prostitution. Obviously I didn't make any comment to DGD and I'm sure sure she would have said something. Thing is regardless of what you think Eglantine the mother IS controlling or do you consider for a young man of 17.5 it is normal to have to ask his mother if he go out and sometimes he admits that he is afraid to ask her or maybe you think that's normal.

I am not fretting about DGD's BF all the family have taken to him and DGD confides in me sometimes but her mom and dad are there for her too. My DIL thinks it's ridiculous that he is controlled by his mother. Maybe you were not fortunate enough to have a young-at-heart grandmother in whom you could confide as is the case with my DGD.

Anyway I'm relieved that none of you had similar thoughts when I heard the words "good time girl"

I have not been on mumsnet nor gransnet for a long time and Eglantine has reminded me why, people making decisions about the complexities of family relationships and being very judgemental/

BlueBelle Sun 21-Oct-18 04:42:53

I have no idea why a grandmother (however young) should know what her grandchildren are doing, much less saying to each other when they are old enough to be at university
I m sorry but this is way over the top you have no idea what she meant so absolutely.no point in even thinking about it
Your granddaughter however close she is to you needs a private life and you should be encouraging that and not getting involved in her lovelife, let her sort it out for herself
Nananina

silverlining48 Sun 21-Oct-18 06:43:59

I think Nina being judged as too involved is not fair, she was just asking our views on the good time girl expression, which in my younger days was not particularly complimentary.

Alima Sun 21-Oct-18 06:49:28

Heavens, I have not heard that expression for years! I imagine dingy nightclubs, loose women smoking through a cigarette holder etc. Yes, I do think the same as you nananina, the boyfriends mother sounds very clingy, trying to put him off? Very rude of her to suggest your DGD is ‘a good time girl”.

NanKate Sun 21-Oct-18 06:52:36

I am with you Silverlining why shouldn’t Nananina be involved in her DGD’s life I know I certainly am with my two young grandsons. I have already met my DGS’s intended and he is only 7!

When my DS was at Uni he had a special relationship with his Nan. Her wise words stay with him to this day.

mumofmadboys Sun 21-Oct-18 07:23:57

Nananina please don't be put off GN. Most people are usually kind and helpful.

Baggs Sun 21-Oct-18 07:47:37

I immediately thought of a rather cheerful song that was sung in my youth when I read the phrase "good time girl". You can tell how not au fait I was and am with popular music because I can't remember anything else about it except that it had a good lilt and rhythm.

Can anyone enlighten me with the singer/band and when?

PECS Sun 21-Oct-18 08:06:11

I suspect BF mum could be trying to denigrate this " older woman" that her DS is going out with! "Good time girl" used to imply a flighty girl who had several men!
BF may have thought " typical bloomin' mother" & thought it a bit of a laugh or worried that DGD was out on the town meeting other lads!
Either way DGD is 18 and will know if she likes BF enough to ignore spiteful remarks from his mum and carry on as before or not!

Eglantine21 Sun 21-Oct-18 08:10:38

Im sorry that what I posted made you cross nananina. Perhaps I was a little abrupt.

However, having read many times, the posts that appear on the estrangement threads, I couldn’t help but feel that this is how it all starts. With a family that are so close and involved that they want to absorb the new member into their family and have only negative things to say about the other family.

You see his mother as controlling. Perhaps she sees your family as wanting her out of the picture. Perhaps she sees a future where she is one of the people posting on Gransnet that her daughter in law only bothers with her own family?

You think I am judgemental. I am making a judgement based on your posts. I try to be fair in my judgements and see everyone’s point of view.

It’s not always a comfortable thing to try to do.

M0nica Sun 21-Oct-18 08:11:30

The kind of mother who in 10 years from now will be posting a thread on GN asking why her DS & DDiL limit her contact with her DGC and that it is all her DDiL's fault.

FlexibleFriend Sun 21-Oct-18 08:15:09

You certainly come across as offended or why say " I may be over reacting" what exactly does that mean if you'r not offended?

PECS Sun 21-Oct-18 08:27:42

If it is the lad's first GF his mum may be anxious for him & her! Maybe she sees her son, in love for the first time, and is trying to protect him from hurt. Maybe he is besotted and mum is pointing out that GF may not be looking for a long term relationship just yet! She may have said it clumsily or spitefully.. but really some parents / grandparents need to give children / young people space to learn for themselves. And just be there to comfort when they need a shoulder to cry on.

PECS Sun 21-Oct-18 08:30:52

Baggs several songs with phrase good time girl..think Nancy Sinatra sang one..also lots of folk songs with that reference. May also be a more recent one by a singer I don't know... will ask DGD when she is here later!

kittylester Sun 21-Oct-18 09:43:26

Have you bought a hat, Kate?

mcem Sun 21-Oct-18 10:00:13

Since this thread has shown up different interpretations of the expression, it may be that the lad didn't quite understand it either.
My GD (18) lives with me at the moment and does confide in me.
I too worry a bit about BF's mum - insisting that she has to do all his laundry, that Saturday is family takeaway night, that she has a fair bit of control of his cash, that she has found his new job in her workplace!
However he clearly adores GD who is a bright and hard-working young woman and I believe that they have a future together.
If asked, I offer an opinion but try to stay out of it.

henetha Sun 21-Oct-18 11:12:02

Is it about the same as "No better than she should be" which always puzzled me when I was young?