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Non grandad name please

(70 Posts)
Flaxseed Sat 20-Oct-18 16:47:29

I’m neither married to nor do I live with my DP of almost 5 years.
He’s not often around when I look after DGS (13.5 months) but there are times such as birthdays, Xmas etc when we are/will be all together.

I’m constantly talking to DGS (as you do) but am at a loss as to know how to address DP when we are with him!

Grandad doesn’t seem right especially as DGS knows and sees his biological grandfathers often (maternal grandfather is ’Pops’ and paternal one is Grandad)
Saying DP’s Christian name doesn’t feel right either!

Any ideas please?

Jobey68 Sat 20-Oct-18 21:16:46

My friends granddaughters called her partner by his name but as he also has a granddaughter who calls him Grandad they have now started calling him grandad Paul off their own backs, kids will work it out I wouldn't worry. ?

FlexibleFriend Sat 20-Oct-18 21:21:05

I can't see anything wrong with him using his first name surely that's what he hears you call him.

agnurse Sat 20-Oct-18 21:25:14

My cousins call their grandfather Bebop (BEE-bop). (Their grandmother is Granny.) He is their biological relation but apparently when my oldest cousin was little she said he was acting like a Bebop and the name stuck.

Patsy70 Sat 20-Oct-18 21:59:15

I like Pa or Granpa. However, when my son had my first grandchild, a granddaughter, he said to my other half 'we don't want you to be a surrogate, we'd like you to be 'Granddad'. My son & daughter don't remember their father, as he did a disappearing act when they were one and two years old! My other half has been 'Granddad' to all 6 of our grandchildren!

Granny23 Sat 20-Oct-18 23:19:44

My DGS started by calling my DH 'Granpal' although he is his blood grandfather. Now DH & other DGF are both called Granpa (1st name).

My DGC call various close friends of their parents Auntie or Uncle, but off their own bat, call my sister Grauntie and their other Grandfather's brother 'Gruncle'. Children will often come up with a suitable name themselves.

stella1949 Sun 21-Oct-18 01:50:47

Three of my DGC call my husband Grandad, the other one calls him Roy. He doesn't have any biological grandchildren, so he loves all of this and doesn't care what they call him..

Flossieturner Sun 21-Oct-18 08:06:44

I think first names are fine. Children using first names for adults is quite usual nowadays. We called everyone Mr or Mrs, or auntie and uncle but that is no longer the case,

GrandmaMoira Sun 21-Oct-18 08:59:56

When I was a step-grandmother the children were all taught by their parents to use my first name as I was not the grandmother. Perhaps your son or daughter will have a view on what your partner should be called.

PamelaJ1 Sun 21-Oct-18 09:22:39

Jane -or from Star Wars??

Humbertbear Sun 21-Oct-18 09:33:27

My husband is called Poppa. My own children called my father by his first name and he loved it.

Persistentdonor Sun 21-Oct-18 10:28:13

Both my sons have encouraged their children to address my (second) husband as Grandad first name. (i.e. Grandad Alan.)

Interestingly, the children all refer to my first husband, their biological grandfather, as GRUMPY. wink

Lancslass1 Sun 21-Oct-18 10:37:09

I married a widower who had two little granddaughters.
I suggested that they should call me by my Christian name as they had another paternal Gran who'm I didn't want to offend and if their mother wanted to tell them about their real grand mother there would be no confusion.
18 years later and it still works well.

Lancslass1 Sun 21-Oct-18 10:41:24

When I had my first son my mother said she and my father would like to be Granny and Grandad.
My son had other ideas.
My mother became Gan gan and my father was Mate.
My other son and my nephews followed his example.

annep Sun 21-Oct-18 10:43:43

I don't know what's wrong with his first name. Thats the obvious choice. My older gc call my partner by his first name. The younger ones who were born when we had got together calk him a version of grandad which includes his nane so won't say. But really, first name is best and simple. I wonder what your DP thinks.

annep Sun 21-Oct-18 10:44:38

call - not calk.
name - not nane!

Apricity Sun 21-Oct-18 10:57:44

What's wrong with the bleeding obvious - his first name? My grandchildren call my long term live in partner by his first name. He isn't their grandfather but he is a loving part of their lives. No problems.

evianers Sun 21-Oct-18 11:12:55

Because we live in France, I am Grandmère and OH is Grandpère, the children love it!

Totallylost Sun 21-Oct-18 11:24:17

To be honest it doesn't sound as if your partner either has or wants an active role in the wee ones life so why would you give him a grandfather type title. I'd use either his first name or just his initials

Izabella Sun 21-Oct-18 11:38:03

Grumps?

Overthehills Sun 21-Oct-18 11:38:40

His first name.

Flaxseed Sun 21-Oct-18 12:19:47

His first name IS an obvious choice of course and it’s not as if I hadn’t thought of that hmm

However, I just wanted something a bit more fun/special so thanks to all who suggested other names.

Although he isn’t involved much at the moment, we have lots of family events coming up and DGS is starting to associate names with people/objects which is why I have just started thinking about this.

DP’s children call him Pa or PaPa so that one is off the list.
My DD’s call my father Gramps so that one will be probably be ruled out too.

However, I think we are leaning towards adding ‘ie’ to his first name which works quite well

Thanks again for your suggestions

oldmom Sun 21-Oct-18 12:29:22

I think you should ask the parents of your grandchild how they feel about it. They may not be OK with any kind of nickname or special name, and just teach your grandchild to use his first name.

It's up to your son/daughter to decide whether your partner is regarded as a relative, or part of your grandchild's family.

NotSpaghetti Sun 21-Oct-18 12:38:03

I like my husband, children and my grandchildren to call me by my "real" name. After all, I don't call them "husband" "daughter" "grandson" etc....
Maybe because of this I think his actual name is best - but love, close bonds and respect isn't bound up in people's names, its in what we do and say and in our feelings and memories - so whatever you decide won't matter so long as they grow to care for him.

Theoddbird Sun 21-Oct-18 12:46:31

I see no reason why his first name is not suitable. If I had a partner I would want my grand children to call him by his first name rather than something made up. I would want a partners grand children to call me by my first name as well. No big deal....

Theoddbird Sun 21-Oct-18 12:48:55

Oh and adding ie is like giving him a childish name...for goodness sake...his first name as it stands is most suitable