Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Non grandad name please

(69 Posts)
Flaxseed Sat 20-Oct-18 16:47:29

I’m neither married to nor do I live with my DP of almost 5 years.
He’s not often around when I look after DGS (13.5 months) but there are times such as birthdays, Xmas etc when we are/will be all together.

I’m constantly talking to DGS (as you do) but am at a loss as to know how to address DP when we are with him!

Grandad doesn’t seem right especially as DGS knows and sees his biological grandfathers often (maternal grandfather is ’Pops’ and paternal one is Grandad)
Saying DP’s Christian name doesn’t feel right either!

Any ideas please?

Situpstraight1 Sat 20-Oct-18 16:50:43

Just make up a nice nickname.

Lynne59 Sat 20-Oct-18 16:50:55

Why not just "Granny's Friend Tom"(or whatever his name is)

kittylester Sat 20-Oct-18 16:51:14

My husband is called Pa!

Ilovecheese Sat 20-Oct-18 16:52:47

GRAMPS? Grampy? Sorry about the capital letters but my tablet kept changing the word to tramps!

cornergran Sat 20-Oct-18 16:54:49

What would he like to be called? Perhaps he can choose? Or have a think together, it doesn’t have to be traditional.

Kittye Sat 20-Oct-18 17:06:22

In this day and age many children have more than one grandfather. Sadly some have only one or none. I say the more the merrier. A child can never have too many loving grandparents. I think kittylesters Pa sounds nice🙂

BlueBelle Sat 20-Oct-18 17:12:49

Well he’s not his grandad and doesn’t sound as if he plays a big part so a nickname would be best or whatever you call him kids often find their own nick names
I never called my own darling granddad, granddad his name was Horace and from the minute I could talk I called him Hossie and that’s what he stayed till the day he died when I was 16

felice Sat 20-Oct-18 17:14:16

Opa, Flemish for Grandad.

Greenfinch Sat 20-Oct-18 17:36:48

Could he be Uncle ?Personally I would not like that..The two little girls who live next door to us have only ever called us by our first names and we are very happy with that.

PECS Sat 20-Oct-18 18:29:42

My DGS call their other grandmother's husband Baba!,

annsixty Sat 20-Oct-18 18:47:00

My C only ever called my stepfather Grandad and we have 4 "sort of" GC who call us Nana/ Grandma and Grandad.
As soon as they question it is explained, but it has never made any difference and we are treated exactly the same as we have always been.
I actually feel very flattered and very lucky.

seacliff Sat 20-Oct-18 18:55:50

The initials of his first two names? Might work, depending!

henetha Sat 20-Oct-18 19:37:57

I had a grandad who wasn't really a grandad and I always called him "Da", which I think is Irish.

Jane10 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:38:59

My DGSs call their step Grandfather Obi. I think it's South African.

Jalima1108 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:42:47

The DGD just called their other Granny's non-live-in partner by his first name, from when they were tiny.
They already had two Grandads.

Jalima1108 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:44:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

silverlining48 Sat 20-Oct-18 20:06:18

I don’t see a problem with using his name, children these days don’t do the uncle auntie mr and Mrs thing, they jump straight in with first names. It’s very normal to them.
We have a similar situation with other grans boyfriend and she uses grandad in cards which confuses the children as they hardly see him. Nothing wrong with calling him Fred. ..even if that’s not his name smile

crystaltipps Sat 20-Oct-18 20:07:35

Why not some shortened/ lengthened version of his own name? E..g Bill- Bill, Ob-Bob, Davie- Dave etc. Then it’s his own name but a bit more child friendly and in a version only they use.

BlueBelle Sat 20-Oct-18 20:25:02

Ask the toddler what’s this man s name and see if he come up with his own version

notanan2 Sat 20-Oct-18 20:26:29

His name is sufficient.

Whilst I wholely support non-blood grandads having the title if the fill the role, your partner does not sound like he has a grandad role in their life, which is fine! Its fine for him to just be his name

Chewbacca Sat 20-Oct-18 20:37:25

My DP is simply known, and referred to by my GC, by his Christian name. Not sure what else he would be referred to tbh.

Luckygirl Sat 20-Oct-18 20:47:56

Two of my GC have an "extraneous" person who lives with their grandmother - they call him by his first name - often prefaced with "that horrid man".....unfortunately!

Flaxseed Sat 20-Oct-18 20:53:05

Thanks everyone
I love ‘opa’ and ‘obi’

But think I may add ‘ie’ to his Christian name.

I will ask DP what he thinks but suspect he won’t be that bothered! (He thinks baby’s are quite uninteresting until they are around 2-3 grin )

BBbevan Sat 20-Oct-18 20:55:48

I don't know why but a friend of mine in the same position as you used Bompa! Sound good anyway