Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Grandfather preferences

(37 Posts)
liz51 Sun 16-Dec-18 21:06:46

Can any tell me why Grandpa's are always so special with both children and grandchildren. It's my Dad's birthday today 101 if he had lived. We adopted him. What about my Mam? We loved her so much. She bent over backwards to help us, get my dad was our darling. Why. Think this will be replicated in my family. I do everything. Buy gifts, help out etc. Hey my husband is the hero. Why?

luluaugust Mon 17-Dec-18 14:28:47

I couldn't agree more, I run round baking, painting, making things and Grandad just is. Guess who they cuddle up to. I don't remember my Grandads at all and sadly my father died when the children were young.

muffinthemoo Mon 17-Dec-18 14:32:47

I was not close to any grandparent, but my children are besotted with my father. They love my mum dearly, but grandad is the top attraction and everyone knows it.

He absolutely dotes on them. It's very nice to see. They always love to spend time together.

Gaggi3 Mon 17-Dec-18 17:18:53

My DH is the master of anarchic play, which our 3 DGC love, and also has endless patience with them and their activities, however small or obscure. It's not surprising he's popular, and it's a joy to see them together. I'm the practical one and keep things on an even keel, but I think they love me too.

Deedaa Mon 17-Dec-18 17:30:41

DH finds children very hard work and hates any sort of noise. They don't dislike him but are a bit wary of him. The two youngest came round once when I was on my own and one them said "Grandad's out so we can shout!"

Divawithattitude Mon 17-Dec-18 17:50:49

I disagree. We have three children between us, two of his and one shared, his have threeGCs. My other half doesn’t know how to be a Grandad with them, he’s a product of the lack of attention in his childhood from his own parents. He struggles to actively play wth any of the GC,s and they as a result virtually ignore him, we have discussed this and talked about what he can do to change things. It’s getting better now as they get older and have an interest in things he is interested in.

GabriellaG54 Mon 17-Dec-18 18:31:40

Cherrytree59
I know what you feel sad
I used to meet my dad at the end of our road when he came home from work and hold his hand, just feeling profoundly safe and happy. I can hear the echo of his 'tipped' shoes and 'feel' the coolness of his cheek on cold winter evenings.
He died aged 45 and never got to see any of us into adulthood.
I don't think we really value our parents until we ourselves are parents...maybe not until we're in our 40s/50s.

cornergran Mon 17-Dec-18 19:11:16

Mr C is the go-to for our Littlest who body swerves round me until he wants food when suddenly he’s my best friend smile. It’s interesting, Littlest does genuinely seem to prefer the company of men. I’m intrigued to see what happens as he gets older.

Whitford8 Mon 17-Dec-18 20:03:04

My two granddaughters adore their grandad /my husband/. He was always a really strict dad to my 2 daughters. However children need boundaries and he has carried on with his strictness is that a word? They know how far to push and are an absolute delight.

Jalima1108 Mon 17-Dec-18 20:38:13

DGD are coming to stay. I've bought nice food and planned their favourite meals. I've put clean sheets on the beds. favourite teddy sitting on the bed, planned some nice activities. They arrive, littlest DGD runs down the drive towards my outstretched arms, straight past me calling 'Grandad*!
hmm

MissAdventure Mon 17-Dec-18 21:14:49

grin
My neighbours little grandchildren knock for me to see if I want to go out to play when they're staying with her, and my daughters friends little boy said "do you want to come up and jump on my bed?".

codfather Tue 18-Dec-18 00:53:41

As a Grandfather, I get three of my Grandchildren to and from school every day. I also take them to hospital appointments and after-school activities. I set strong boundaries and won't tolerate breaches! Every other Sunday, they all come over to ours and I cook the Sunday dinner. Christmas Day, everyone's at ours because I cook the best dinner. DW buys the presents while I deal with the food. I never had a Grandfather, both of them died before I was born and my father died when my children were very young. My FIL lived to see them grow up but lived over 100 miles away and didn't drive. GF's are somewhat rarer than Nans which is probably what makes them special. I can strike fear into their hearts when I walk in with freezing cold hands! wink