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Grandfather preferences

(36 Posts)
liz51 Sun 16-Dec-18 21:06:46

Can any tell me why Grandpa's are always so special with both children and grandchildren. It's my Dad's birthday today 101 if he had lived. We adopted him. What about my Mam? We loved her so much. She bent over backwards to help us, get my dad was our darling. Why. Think this will be replicated in my family. I do everything. Buy gifts, help out etc. Hey my husband is the hero. Why?

MawBroon Sun 16-Dec-18 21:23:21

Perhaps we need to ask Grandad ? tchgrin

paddyann Sun 16-Dec-18 23:50:23

Was my mothers birthday yesterday she would have been 94 ,I miss her ,of course I do but I miss my dad more.

I think with me its because I looked after mum for 12 years after dad died and was with her right until her last breath.I did all I could for her and was happy to do so

Dad died very suddenly in the street .We didn't see him after he died as the doctor thought his injuries when he fell down a flight of stairs would be too much for us to cope with.We never really got to say goodbye and that has always been a sadness .I miss him every day ...even now nearly 25 years on.

ninathenana Mon 17-Dec-18 07:42:10

My dad died 33 yrs ago, he never met my children. I loved him dearly, he was the sweetest kindest man and would do anything for us but he was very quiet, not a conversationalist. He left mum to organise the household, book holidays etc. and discapline my brother and I and didn't really have an impact on my life. So it's my mum I miss most. We got on so well and chatted all the time.

sodapop Mon 17-Dec-18 08:47:19

I think Grandads tend to be a bit more laid back and do fun things with their grandchildren. Even with adult grandchildren my husband is most popular.

annifrance Mon 17-Dec-18 10:30:08

Miss my DFiL.

Coconut Mon 17-Dec-18 10:35:20

I don’t have this as my ex is not a hands on grandad at all and so they only see him about 4 times a year. I’ve never said negative things about him, but I find as the GC get older, they mention themselves, the lack of “anything”. I had to laugh at one grandsons Xmas card to me, he’d put “ even tho you keep making me tidy my room and you time me on my computer games, you are still the best Nanny in the world” ...

inishowen Mon 17-Dec-18 10:39:54

I have to agree. My husband is the favourite amongst the grandchildren. We were meeting them at the cinema recently. They saw us at a distance and ran towards us shouting "grandad, grandad", then jumped into his arms. I was a little hurt!

Maccyt1955 Mon 17-Dec-18 10:41:09

I never knew either of my grandfathers, so I grew up with strong feisty grandmothers instead. But I do think grandpas are special...a bit like Father Christmas and a kind wise old sage rolled into one? Maybe not! From my observations they don’t mind being jumped on for rough and tumble and seem to be generous with their time.

Blinko Mon 17-Dec-18 10:46:21

One of our grandsons aged 8, described my DH as 'funny and sometimes grumpy'. He's got the qualities right, though in they apply in inverse proportions.... grin

janeainsworth Mon 17-Dec-18 10:52:04

Oh goodness, it’s not a competition sad

blinko aren’t they all like that grin

Izabella Mon 17-Dec-18 10:56:17

Could it be that they often sit and just be?

Margs Mon 17-Dec-18 11:00:55

It's a myth fostered by those Wherther's Orginial toffee ads......

Emmaline Mon 17-Dec-18 11:01:11

Maybe it's because mums tend to be the ones that do most of the disciplining and etc. so come across as the bossy-boots whereas the granddads have plenty of time to fuss and spoil the grandchildren.. just a thought grin

I never had any sort of relationship with any family members even when I was very little and then when I got to my teenage years we were evicted from our home and I lived virtually on my own until I got married when I was 21. Unfortunately he turned out to be a really abusive person and made my life hell for the next 16 years .. hohum! such is life!

Grampie Mon 17-Dec-18 11:33:23

With us it’s Grampie and the granddaughters while the grandsons flock to Grandma.

Sheilasue Mon 17-Dec-18 12:24:15

My dad was a lovely gd to my children and so was my mum.
My dh is a grumpy one lately we only have one gd who lives with us and she’s 18 and of course a teen. Gd is a bit of a pain at times probably because of his arthritis I know but he is so negative at the moment and it pulls you down at times. Hey ho.

geeljay Mon 17-Dec-18 12:35:13

Emmaline has got it in one.Granpa's dont seem to fuss, and are more laid back with the 'little uns'. If they are badly dressed, or need a haircut, we leave well alone. My g/c and g/g/c have added another dimension to this old fella's life

MissAdventure Mon 17-Dec-18 12:40:47

I think children often gravitate to people who just 'are'.
It makes them curious, and like most of us, they appreciate being left to their own devices.

Cherrytree59 Mon 17-Dec-18 12:47:17

I close my eyes and just for a moment I can feel my grandpa's hand holding mine as we walk down the hill together 💜

Edithb Mon 17-Dec-18 12:55:19

My little grandson always wants to go to his Grandad, but he does give him lots of tickles whereas I sit on the floor and play cars and look at books.

red1 Mon 17-Dec-18 13:12:22

be thankful you had a good grandpa, its not the same for everyone, some are distant, cold, aloof and don't give a hoot...

Parsley3 Mon 17-Dec-18 13:15:08

My grandchildren snuggle up to grandad on the sofa. It could be because he is sitting there while grandma is bustling about preparing their snacks etc.

Cherrytree59 Mon 17-Dec-18 13:17:34

That is sad red1 sad
I hope for you, there is a better relationship with grandmother(s)

breeze Mon 17-Dec-18 13:46:26

I think it's like cats. They always sit on the lap of the person who doesn't give a stuff tchgrin My GD's adore their Grampsie. I'm always bustling around in the kitchen and tell them off when they are naughty but Grampsie is always calm (quietly counting down the hours until they go home. I think it's like putting your head in the sand tchgrin). I think they could tie him to a tree, whoop around it and set him on fire and he wouldn't tell them off ! If they fall over and hurt themselves though they always run to Nana so I guess I'm good for something hmm

Farmor15 Mon 17-Dec-18 14:21:01

I posted this on another thread but I think it would be appropriate here:

Mother Christmas

"Where art thou, Mother Christmas?
I only wish I knew
Why Father should get all the praise
And no one mentions you.

I'll bet you buy the presents
And wrap them large and small
While all the time that rotten swine
Pretends he's done it all.

So Hail To Mother Christmas
Who shoulders all the work!
And down with Father Christmas,
That unmitigated jerk!"

The 'Mother Christmas' poem was created by Roald Dahl in 1988 for Great Ormond Street Hospital. Quentin Blake - also patron of Roald Dahl's Marvellous Children's Charity - provided the illustrations.