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Surprise 2nd grandchild after 7 year gap

(39 Posts)
Snowbell Tue 01-Jan-19 20:00:48

I am about to become a grandmother for the second time almost 7 years since the first time. During that time I have lost both my parents and my husband and retired from work. I feel completely out of touch with the modern ways of looking after a newborn and I'm a bit concerned about how my grandson will react to this big change in his life. Any advice please?

mumofmadboys Tue 01-Jan-19 20:13:15

Lovely news! Just relax and enjoy the new baby and baby's big brother!

Jalima1108 Tue 01-Jan-19 20:13:25

It will be up to his parents to help him to adjust. You can only be guided by them.

BBbevan Tue 01-Jan-19 20:22:49

I had (have) just over 6 years between mine. I can't remember any problems and they are the best of friends now. My mum said it was a bit like having two only children. DD was in school when DS was born so she didn't resent the time I gave to him

janeainsworth Tue 01-Jan-19 20:38:38

It’s sad that your DH won’t be here to share the joy of your new grandchild, snowbell.
But being retired, you’ll be able to devote as much time as you want to helping your DD or DiL with the new baby.
Don’t worry about ‘modern methods’ - it’s best to just go with the flow and do as you’re told grin
I’m sure the new little one will bring much happiness to your family flowers

sodapop Tue 01-Jan-19 20:40:36

Seven years between my daughters as well. They didn't get on too well when the eldest was a teenager but after that they were fine. It will work out ok if the older child is included in preparations etc. Your grandson will enjoy being a big brother. Be guided by the parents about baby care they will have their own ideas. Congratulations and enjoy your family.

Lisalou Tue 01-Jan-19 21:35:35

What wonderful news! Please do not worry about the age gap. There are six and a half years between my eldest and the middle one, and nine years between number 2 and number 3 and they all have a strong bond.
As for how things work, just go with the flow, the parents will have their own ideas on how to bring up their little one. My advice, is just enjoy this new member of the family xxx

agnurse Tue 01-Jan-19 22:08:11

You may like to take a grandparenting course. These are designed to educate grandparents about standards that may have changed since their children were little.

Definitely go with what the parents tell you, though. If it's different from what you did, you could say something along the lines of, "That's new. I'm curious to know more about it."

Deedaa Tue 01-Jan-19 22:08:33

6 years between GS1 &2. Age gap hasn't been a problem and baby care hasn't changed in the 6 years.

paddyann Tue 01-Jan-19 22:36:38

10 years between my two,my daughter was almost a second mother to her very wee brother ( he was 3 months prem) and they have continued to be the best of friends all their lives.
Their families spend weekends together and go on holiday together .In fact they've all just left here after a fab couple of days.The GC all get on well too ,although the youngest two girls fight a bit because thy have the same nature.Iwouldn't expect any problems with a 7 year gap

Anja Tue 01-Jan-19 22:54:47

Relax, go with the flow and take your clues from the parents. Most child thrive despite their parents and grandparents.

grannyactivist Tue 01-Jan-19 23:43:08

I have seven years each between my second, third and fourth children - they're all great friends and it worked out very well. I'm sure you'll all be swept up in the excitement of a new baby and all will be well.

Grammaretto Tue 01-Jan-19 23:54:54

We have big gaps too. I'm told the closer the age gap, the more jealousy so you'll be spared that.
A 6yr old can be very helpful with a new baby. I was when my baby brother was born!

Teetime Wed 02-Jan-19 09:54:40

snowbell what lovely news - go with your instincts and have fun with the new baby.

Buntykjw Wed 02-Jan-19 10:14:51

Snowbell, please don’t feel anxious about your grandson. I have just become a second time Grandmother with a 6 year gap between first grandson and second, and I had the same concerns. They were completely unfounded, and the older is so proud and protective of his baby brother, and not at all jealous. It makes me very happy to see them together!

gilld69 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:19:14

there was 7 years between each of mine and 5 between my 3 grandchildren . no problems just include older child in things to do with baby without pushing baby on him too much shouldnt be a problem

Patticake123 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:22:06

Congratulations! I felt like you but quickly discovered it was like riding a bike, I could still do it. Have confidence in yourself and as far as the older child goes, he’ll adjust and most likely adore being the big brother to his new sibling.

Pat1949 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:29:31

There's seven years between my first to daughters and nine years between the second and the third, I've never had any problem between the relationship of the three. They're really very close, the eldest is 52 and the youngest 35. They live miles apart but maintain regular contact. Please relax and don't put problems in the way before they occur. It'll be up to the parents to deal with any problems IF they occur.

hereshoping Wed 02-Jan-19 10:34:22

Congratulations, what wonderful news.
Just love the baby, that's all that's needed and so easy to do.

lemongrove Wed 02-Jan-19 10:34:33

That’s the parents concern OP and not yours, surely?

Hm999 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:46:11

Seven years between my 2 children. Older one was cross between a sibling and an uncle to younger one.

Apricity Wed 02-Jan-19 11:07:09

I don't think the time between your grandchildren is of any significance at all. Just open your arms, hold them, look into their eyes, say hello, and love them. It is life renewing itself. That's all there is to it.
PS. My partner and I have eleven grandchildren between us aged from 4 to 20 so have some experience.

harrysgran Wed 02-Jan-19 11:08:46

I became a grandmother for the second time after a 13 year gap I thought the same that I wouldn't be up to date with new methods and ideas however after a couple of lessons in using the bottle making machine and setting up the video baby monitor smile it all came back to me the cuddles singing and baby talk never change and his brother is so loving and protective towards him it's a joy to watch them together

GeorgieKay Wed 02-Jan-19 11:14:31

Congratulations, lovely news. Relax and enjoy your grandchildren.

mabon1 Wed 02-Jan-19 11:14:57

You are worrying about nothing.