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Surprise 2nd grandchild after 7 year gap

(40 Posts)
Snowbell Tue 01-Jan-19 20:00:48

I am about to become a grandmother for the second time almost 7 years since the first time. During that time I have lost both my parents and my husband and retired from work. I feel completely out of touch with the modern ways of looking after a newborn and I'm a bit concerned about how my grandson will react to this big change in his life. Any advice please?

Nelliemoser Wed 02-Jan-19 23:28:15

I would like another grandchild but it's not on short of a mishap.
When I was out in the summer with my daughter and the two little boys (3 and 6 now) we were walking about and the three year old said to his mummy "when are we having another baby." My poor daughter went pale. shock shock shock

sluttygran Wed 02-Jan-19 22:30:49

What wonderful news!
Don’t worry about the latest innovations in baby care. Fashions change, but babies don’t! smile

Legs55 Wed 02-Jan-19 18:14:37

DGS1 was 7 when DGS2 was born, he was included in everything even going with DD & her OH for a scan, he was so excited he rang me straight away to tell me he'd seen a picture of his little brother. They adore each other.

As for the new ideas on raising a baby, DD said a lot had changed in 7 years, let parents lead you but lots of kisses & cuddles just the same as eversmile

Sar53 Wed 02-Jan-19 17:04:20

My eldest granddaughter was 9 1/2 when her sister was born. Charlotte will be one on Friday. They absolutely adore each other and the elder is like a second mum to the baby. Children adapt as do parents and grandparents.

Snowbell Wed 02-Jan-19 16:21:54

Thanks everyone I feel much more confident now

grandtanteJE65 Wed 02-Jan-19 14:39:06

Congratulations! Perhaps you should read the first of today's threads, so you don't let yourself be shanghaied into more child-care than you are up to!

It's all too easy to offer and all to hard to stop again.

If the seven year old is jealous, you and his parents will just have to tell him what a good big brother he is. Babies are boring for a seven year old boy, so maybe you can find some things he and you can do together "Now he is a big boy!"

He may never be jealous at all, as he is big enough to understand to a certain extent that the little one needs mummy's time and attention.

Cross the bridge if and when you come to it. Don't spoil the months of looking forward by worrying about something that might never happen.

luluaugust Wed 02-Jan-19 14:37:49

This is a lovely age gap I am sure all will be fine.

Purpledaffodil Wed 02-Jan-19 14:29:43

Totally agree with other posters saying that such a gap is no problem. We have a new DGD born nearly 9 years after her brother. He adores her and will happily fetch and carry and sooth her back to sleep. I think the secret is in including the older one in planning nursery etc and giving lots of praise for his skills too.
Personally, my DB is 7 years younger than I. We have always got on well and still do. Whereas my husband and his late sister loathed each other, despite there being only a two year gap.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 02-Jan-19 14:18:53

8 years between my youngest 2, they love each other and sometimes even like each other!!!

Ideas change often, but newborn babies remain the same.

Enjoy your new grandchild.

MawBroon Wed 02-Jan-19 14:05:44

Snowbell how on Earth did you cope with the (presumably) 20+ years between the birth of your first grandchild and your own experience with a baby?
This is not your “problem” if there is one, but the baby’s parents’.
Newborns are pretty much what they were 7 years ago!
My first DGS was born nearly 9 years ago. My next grandchild is due in March. My ideas about babycare are as outof date today as they were in 2009!

Saggi Wed 02-Jan-19 13:59:08

Snowbell you’re worrying about nothing at all....my grandson was 5 and half when his sister was born...he’d been at school for a year and full time nursery before that since 8 months old. He is THE most well adjusted boy ( now 11) that I know. He loves his little sister (6) with a passion and she idolises him and follows (or wants to ) him everywhere.Trust the children's parents...they’ll have read up on this age gap and will be well prepared for it. My husband ( who isn’t as well adjusted as his grandson) was 25 when his sister was born (yes 25!!!). He was and still is totally petulant about his sister to this day. His mother of course expected him to behave like a grown up, but considering he was still at home and she pampered him like a baby , I blame her for his re-action. 25 year age gap = problem....7 year age gap (with enlightened parents) = double happiness for you and them.

icanhandthemback Wed 02-Jan-19 13:55:26

Don't be looking for problems before they exist. Sit back and enjoy the thought of another new life. It isn't your baby, why do you need to know modern methods? Your family will let you know what you need to or, if you are really that worried, read the NHS guidance so you are up to date.

goose1964 Wed 02-Jan-19 13:39:14

the baby's parents will have all the up to date parenting advice, such as not weaning until 6 months, baby led weaning - chunks of food & no purees.

Just follow their lead and you'll do fine

cheekychops61 Wed 02-Jan-19 13:35:37

Lovely news. We are in exactly the same boat. Grandson will be 7 in the summer and new baby due soon after. Congratulations.

mabon1 Wed 02-Jan-19 11:14:57

You are worrying about nothing.

GeorgieKay Wed 02-Jan-19 11:14:31

Congratulations, lovely news. Relax and enjoy your grandchildren.

harrysgran Wed 02-Jan-19 11:08:46

I became a grandmother for the second time after a 13 year gap I thought the same that I wouldn't be up to date with new methods and ideas however after a couple of lessons in using the bottle making machine and setting up the video baby monitor smile it all came back to me the cuddles singing and baby talk never change and his brother is so loving and protective towards him it's a joy to watch them together

Apricity Wed 02-Jan-19 11:07:09

I don't think the time between your grandchildren is of any significance at all. Just open your arms, hold them, look into their eyes, say hello, and love them. It is life renewing itself. That's all there is to it.
PS. My partner and I have eleven grandchildren between us aged from 4 to 20 so have some experience.

Hm999 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:46:11

Seven years between my 2 children. Older one was cross between a sibling and an uncle to younger one.

lemongrove Wed 02-Jan-19 10:34:33

That’s the parents concern OP and not yours, surely?

hereshoping Wed 02-Jan-19 10:34:22

Congratulations, what wonderful news.
Just love the baby, that's all that's needed and so easy to do.

Pat1949 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:29:31

There's seven years between my first to daughters and nine years between the second and the third, I've never had any problem between the relationship of the three. They're really very close, the eldest is 52 and the youngest 35. They live miles apart but maintain regular contact. Please relax and don't put problems in the way before they occur. It'll be up to the parents to deal with any problems IF they occur.

Patticake123 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:22:06

Congratulations! I felt like you but quickly discovered it was like riding a bike, I could still do it. Have confidence in yourself and as far as the older child goes, he’ll adjust and most likely adore being the big brother to his new sibling.

gilld69 Wed 02-Jan-19 10:19:14

there was 7 years between each of mine and 5 between my 3 grandchildren . no problems just include older child in things to do with baby without pushing baby on him too much shouldnt be a problem

Buntykjw Wed 02-Jan-19 10:14:51

Snowbell, please don’t feel anxious about your grandson. I have just become a second time Grandmother with a 6 year gap between first grandson and second, and I had the same concerns. They were completely unfounded, and the older is so proud and protective of his baby brother, and not at all jealous. It makes me very happy to see them together!