advice about dad

Like Franjess I also worked in Adult Services. I actually worked in the department which deals with the abuse of adults who are deemed vulnerable. It is now called Safeguarding and there would be such an unit in your local council, Meetings are held with the presence of trained police officers from the outset to determine whether or not any abuse has occurred and action would be taken accordingly by the police

If this was happening to me my Children would have her out no trouble. Anyone putting a claim to their future inheritance would be like a red rag to a bull lol

This is elder abuse pure and simple. Report it to the police or social services. They deal with this every day. I used to work for social services.

Without your intervention your dad could be left with nothing.

I hope that your husband soon recovers. You need to look after youself too. Maybe look at getting some help for yourself- talk to your local carers support group.

busybee6969 thank you for the update. I'm sure everyone is sorry about the stress of your husband's illness and wish him well.
Re your father, will you put a camera in as so many suggest?

sorry for no replys my hubby was taken ill been in hospital with him he has angina went by ambulance to hospital. was crying reading your threat replies.have had several chats with dad brought up sacking cleaner did not go well, he will not sack her told me i can not sack her. i got 2 of his friends involved they came round with me for a chat with him, he will not sack her.she weems to not be there as much, neighbours our watching him for me.i evan said my mum and sister who both died from cancer would turn in there grave if they knew what was going on. he just said he was fine, i asked about poa he does not want to do it, his 2 friends both agree with me we might push him too far if we get too heavy handed ie social services. im broken completely know its wrong but he is forgetful yes old yes but ,evan his 2 old friends who agree completely with me say he will not budge andthey have met cleaner know about her say we cant do any more if dad wont ,so will watch more closely, visit at different times to try and catch her out,feel a complete mess stress etc

What a worry for the OP who pours her heart out.

What do you think of the kind and sincere suggestions? Are any of them useful to you?

How did your father find her? Workers who go into other people's homes to work and especially in care should be registered with the police. You could therefore quite legitimately ask the police if she is registered with them so there is no embarrassment. It is so difficult to find people who care but that does not mean to say that she is irreplaceable. What you describe is very worrying and you would be failing as a daughter if you did not do something about it.

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Just read the previous threads. Wow. Not sure why people would make this stuff up.

Apologies if this has already been suggested but I would set up a hidden web cam to keep an eye on the cleaners behaviour. A friend of mine is a district nurse and many older people have them in their homes.

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That was an unfortunate slip. Should have read busybee6969.

Bustbee6969 I agree with everything people have said. Send her packing. There must be other honest cleaners who would be glad of a job. She sounds very manipulative. It will be more difficult if she persuades him to change his locks or give her his bank details.

Of course Riverwalk I forgot about googling names Yes I see what you mean Busybee6969 had exactly the same problem twelve months ago so as the poor old man seems in the same situation, cooking and paying and having the cleaner round each day for hours and worries about monies and cars etc all the advice given then has been of no use at all and not used so absolutely no point in going over and over it all again
Exactly the same problem 12 months apart

Google BlueBelle.

www.gransnet.com/forums/aibu/1245145-dodgy-cleaner
busybee6969 has been posting for several years. This is the previous thread on the subject and it's apparent that nothing has changed in the interim, except possibly to have got worse.

Riverwalk how did you do a search the search facility has been down for days

Riverwalk, thats awful. That poor old person has been left in the same sorry state for over a year?

Why don't the 69 ers deal with it?

A quick search shows the OP asked for help with this problem a year ago - seems nothing has been done in all that time.

I think that some posters have been on a "Creative Writing" course when I read some threads , makes it interesting and instructive .

I m beginning to think so too Urmstrongran
I think we should cease advice until Busybee6969 comes back to us

I think someone had a good laugh yesterday.

Extremely worrying and definitely sounds like grooming. Do you have access to your father's bank to determine how much he is withdrawing each week? Is it possible she now knows his details and PIN numbers? Please contact the organisations above ASAP and get rid of her, change the locks and also inform the bank you are concerned.

Any update yet , Busybee It would be nice to know if you have taken on board any of the advice from the posts on here and what the outcome was. People on this site do genuinely care, and get upset when they read about abuse.