Meals with DG and DD

When family come, youngest DGD has the kitchen chair - she always wipes her hands on the chair!

Our just 3 year old DGS has been here over the weekend. There are finger prints on the windows and kitchen cupboards. 3 tablecloths in the wash. A paint smudge on the wall where he was carefully painting a special picture . Bits of mud in the hall from his boots that were drying by the radiator. A lovely , lovely weekend with memories and love far more important than anything else.

People are far more important than possessions.
Plus they have feelings.
I’m with paddyann on this.

I'm with Ellan!

Thank you all. I'm glad I wrote in, as you've provided lots of helpful ideas, esp. wet wipes & the song (which btw WILL be v. useful: the 5y/o is expert at flossing her teeth but I had to floss a v. wriggly 4y/o every night b/c I baby-sat while DD was out 'on the town' catching up with her UK friendship circle. What I will take away from this is 'preparation is everything' &, now you've started me thinking: I could also try origami serviettes. Bluebell: you'll be glad to know I didn't leave GD by themselves: DD was eating with them. Requested menu was mostly roast lamb, roast potatoes & veg, - eaten with & w/o cutlery. Tartlet, I'm not particularly house-proud but fabric settee & armchairs/cushions don't look/feel great when they're greasy and DD likes 'hotel standards' when she stays (won't stay with her brother for that reason: they have animals). I take the point that I am out-of-touch with young ch. eating habits, but otoh, while they were here, I sat with both & showed even the 4y/o how to use Lego instructions independently of an adult, to sew (JL do handy 'present' kits) & did creative arts/science investigations with them 'doing', not just watching. Incidentally, the USA up/down mealtime syndrome has since been mentioned to me by friends & it was a bit of a culture shock for me. Jalima: I've ordered a garden shed - to put myself in !. Auntiflo: love the idea that your GC thought you came attached to a J-cloth. Obv. I just need to chill when they are here ! Tx again all !

I am always wiping faces, noses etc. I make comments of ‘please clear up the mess or could you put your dishes in the kitchen’. I’m lucky that my son never takes offence.

Chanel, there's nothing wrong with wiping children's greasy or dirty fingers, I've never heard of this making children fussy eaters or anorexic either.
Have serviettes and wet wipes on the table and if your Daughter complains, ignore her.
I'm not overly house proud but it makes sense to clean young children's faces and hands before they leave the table.
It's something that our family have always done.
In fact when little ones ask if they can get down from the table and their hands are mucky, all the adults at the table will say "Hands"! and the little ones know to clean them themselves.
I find it very odd to do otherwise!

Did you really limit contact to birthdays? Wow that is really shocking.

After their return I limited contact to sending money at Xmas/birthdays
What on earth is that about? And how ridiculous, you winge about a few finger marks and then avoid contact ...the mind boggles
Fabric settee etc, if you are so worried put a throw on for the duration of the visit
I don’t get you at all your daughter has booked to visit again and you aren’t jumping up and down with delight but just wondering how to introduce a greasy hand rule The mind boggles

I absented myself at mealtimes after replacing my chairs with garden chairs It never entered my head you left the children by themselves at the diner table I just thought how rude you were to get up and leave your daughter and children to eat alone
Do you not like your daughter very much? Your words show no love or care just critism

Any wipeable surface doesn't matter and perhaps you could buy some cheap washable throws or use old sheets to cover fabric furniture.
After GC visits I used to be reluctant to clean the little finger prints off the french windows as they reminded me of happy time spent with them.

and DD likes 'hotel standards' when she stays (won't stay with her brother for that reason: they have animals)
I laughed when I read that!!

DD likes hotel standards but lets the DGC much the place up!

I think you should put DD in the garden shed Chanel and sit with the DGC, training them in good table manners and getting them to wash their hands before and after a meal!

One tip - when we had a new carpet I put one of those large pieces of pvc on the carpet under the high chair (later a kitchen chair) to catch any food which made its way on to the floor.
Inevitably, though, it was usually an adult who would knock a glass of red wine flying!

muck the place up (not much)

Can someone please explain what the USA up/down eating syndrome is?

I don't think it's confined to the USA, Izabella

We were on holiday with friends years ago and their DD was up and down from the table throughout meals. Our DD got the idea that this was a brilliant thing to do so it was very difficult to get her to sit still and eat.

I suppose little children get down from the table but adults get up from the table!

Izabella - a lot of children these days start off at the table, then get off their chair and wander around the house while eating with their hands. They may come back for more food, sit down for a while then wander off again. If their parents allow this at home, it’s hard to change behaviour when visiting.

chanel i,m with you! its my stuff and greasy marks do not always come off...and if its ruined i cant afford to replace it. However I would have a packet of wipes on the table and ask them to wipe their hands before they leave the table.

I don’t allow my GC to wander around eating toast, jam, biscuits, oranges , drinking apple juice, whatever, and I don’t see why it is a problem to eat in the kitchen then wipe any sticky hands, mouths after eating. What they’re allowed to do at home is up to the parents surely. I don’t want marmite all over my curtains or furniture and it doesn’t mean they aren’t happy to be here or allowed to do anything messy. Far from it. It’s always chaotic when they are here - I have no problem clearing up after them but don’t see the problem in keeping food/ drinks to one area of the house. ( fortunately neither do their parents)

The children aren't the problem
It's the mum, Chanel's DD.

I am probably more lax than my DC so I don't have this problem, but I think you need to have a civilised chat with your DD, Chanel.
Don't reprimand the children - turn it into a fun thing to do and mention the germs which another poster mentioned in her post upthread somewhere.
And breathe. And relax and make mealtimes enjoyable so that they don't get up and wander around.

In the blink of an eye my little grandchildren will naturally want to spend time with their friends rather than at sunday dinner with their grandparents.

And oh dear how I will miss those sticky finger marks, the condensation art work on the glass panels on the kitchen door, even the odd bit of Lego underfoot ouch!

It could be worse, when my daughter was a wee tot she popped all the buds on her grandad's fuschia.

Wouldn't care personally. DD and GC far more important to me than things.

Buy some throws for the soft furnishings.
Wooden furniture will polish, patio doors can be cleaned etc

Ah, totally get the up and down bit now.