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Redundant gran

(66 Posts)
Jacksgran Tue 26-Feb-19 22:26:35

No more school pick ups no more babysitting no more family hols need to find another life

Patsy70 Tue 26-Feb-19 22:32:19

Oh, Jacksgran, I really do feel for you. My youngest granddaughter is ten and a half, and getting to the stage when she'll not be needing me to collect her from school. Yes, you must find other interests. There are so many choices, so be brave and go for it!

annep1 Tue 26-Feb-19 22:34:36

No more family hols??

tanith Tue 26-Feb-19 22:38:18

You don’t explain if this is just your GC growing up or something else? If the former can I tell you that my eldest GS is in his 30s and he still wants us all to go on holidays together. So with his 3 siblings and wives/girlfriends/boyfriends and Grt GC we’re all off to Dorset for a week in the Summer.
There are new experiences as your GC grow up don’t dispair.

BlueBelle Wed 27-Feb-19 04:59:53

But Tanith that’s not how it is for a great many families You are very lucky
My grandchildren are all teens and the real picture is they do not need you now and that’s exactly as life should be but it does take some getting used to

GrandmainOz Wed 27-Feb-19 05:43:10

Oh, jacksgran you sound very down. Hope whatever your situation is, you can find a way to improve things

ninathenana Wed 27-Feb-19 06:40:36

I'm wondering, as it says no more family holidays whether there has been a rift rather than this just being a case of DGC maturing.
We need more detail but I'm sorry you are feeling sad, no matter what the details are flowers

Humbertbear Wed 27-Feb-19 07:02:05

After 13 years of being involved with our three GC we too are facing redundancy from September when they will all be taking the school coach and we will not be doing pick ups. I’m already keeping in touch with the our oldest GD by What’s App as I rarely see her and I wonder how we will keep in touch with the younger two. We were expecting to do school pick ups for the youngest GD for a few more years. On the bright side, weekends away will be easier to arrange but I will really miss the children.

M0nica Wed 27-Feb-19 07:29:27

Never lived close enough to be anything other than a visiting/visited grandparent.

Anja Wed 27-Feb-19 07:29:57

Ah! The grandchildren growing up and not being needed so much syndrome. I think many of us can relate to that.

Luckily three of mine are still at primary so we will be ‘needed’ for a few more years yet.

Can you lure them round now and again perhaps?

Urmstongran Wed 27-Feb-19 07:42:40

Nothing stays the same. It’s the cycle of life.
That said, you sound down about it Jacksgran so 💐

Anja Wed 27-Feb-19 07:45:15

You do need to find ‘another life’ I agree.

BlueBelle Wed 27-Feb-19 08:11:51

I would imagine the no more holidays is because most teenagers stop going on holiday with family and start striding out n their own
It is life’s circle and s inevitable keep your chin up

luluaugust Wed 27-Feb-19 10:00:12

Yes same here, all the DGC growing up quickly and life has moved on again, the wheel has turned, I am afraid it happens to most people, like me you are realising it is time to find other interests. I am sure they don't love us any the less but my AC are at the beginning of the empty nest syndrome themselves I'm doing it the second time around!! Good luck and take care.

maryneale Wed 27-Feb-19 10:01:54

Join the U3A

Jeannie59 Wed 27-Feb-19 10:03:09

Me neither, all of my 4 grandchildren live in the U.S and OZ
2 in the U.S are adults now.

Cambia Wed 27-Feb-19 10:06:23

Jacksgran just a new bit opening up in the cycle of life. Your grandchildren will also come and chat to you when they dont always want to chat to parents. They will always be your grandchildren.

If you have a gap in your life and enjoy children, have you thought of helping in primary schools. My gs is dyslexic and gets enormous help from an eighty year old scribe even at grammar school. Lots of help needed and you could get great enjoyment x

josiew Wed 27-Feb-19 10:11:03

My Grandsons are now grown up and living away, but they always call to see me when they come home for the weekend and we keep in touch by phone and email. It is a stage of life .Like our children, we have to let them go and make their own way in life, just as we did.

Hm999 Wed 27-Feb-19 10:18:20

Like everything else to do with retirement, it needs to be planned in advance. When I started looking after DGD a day a week with occasional sleepovers, I did know that she'd eventually be at school full-time. It was a temporary arrangement to build a relationship with her that hopefully will last into adulthood.
But of course I do feel for all the grandparents for whom a huge hole in their lives is opening up.

MooM00 Wed 27-Feb-19 10:22:02

My Sister has just lost her Daughter age 30 to cancer just before Christmas 2018. My Niece has 3 children age 2, 3, and 6 they are now with their Dad who is trying to do a job 3 days a week and look after them. Their dad has asked my sister to help out and pick them up from school for them 3 days.I cannot understand the fact My sister who lives on her own has refused to help out with the grandchildren because as she says she has a life of her own and goes out with her friends. She will be 70 in September. I just cannot believe how selfish she is. I would help if I could but they live in the North of Englandand I live in the South.

inishowen Wed 27-Feb-19 10:22:16

I'm at the stage where all my grandchildren are aged 7 and under. I am called upon to help out. I can't imagine the other end of the scale where I'm not needed. I will have to roll with the punches when that happens.

NotSpaghetti Wed 27-Feb-19 10:25:22

Jacksgran - why? What is wrong please? Someone may have ideas but we can’t quite grasp the extent or type of problem.

Kim19 Wed 27-Feb-19 10:27:23

I'm with MOnica on this in that I don't live close enough to be of regular service. However, JG, give yourself a huge pat on the back for a job well done and all the pleasure (and sometimes maybe 'inconvenience') you've had over the years. As said by many others, there is a lovely life to be had out there for those of us of more mature years. I'm lucky enough to be experiencing that. Go for it! Good luck.

NotStressedOut Wed 27-Feb-19 10:36:09

The world is your oyster, find some new hobbies. Join some classes. Join a walking group. These things will bring some new friends. Maybe you could enjoy some holidays with some friends. You’re not a redundant gran, you’ve done your bit and it’s now time to enjoy life doing other things. This will give interesting things to talk about when your family visits. I found my children used to talk to my mum about things they wouldn’t talk was to me about. She was very wise and a good listener. I worried less about them as I knew if they had any worries mum was always there for them.

nipsmum Wed 27-Feb-19 10:37:19

I invite them for lunch at the weekend . Mum enjoys not having to cook at least one meal. If that's not a possibility, then think about a little dog. I've had mine for nearly 4 years now, it gives you exercise and fresh air you speak to different people and you can always talk to the dog. It's a beautiful morning here in Scotland and we have just been to the beach. It's a great cure for loneliness or feeling not needed.