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Laundry woes

(76 Posts)
Quizzer Wed 13-Mar-19 21:18:02

My DH of 47 years has always been helpful around the house even if he does do things his way and not mine. However there is one thing he does that drives me mad. He is obsessed with interfering with the laundry. He us always asking if the machine is finished yet. He takes washing off the line before it is dry enough. He puts items awaiting ironing into the airing cupboard, baking the creases in and worst of all he happily puts damp washing away in the drawers. One morning, after I had set the machine to run overnight, he woke me at 5.30 am to tell me it had finished.angry
I know he's only trying to help but often he may he just makes extra owork. I have triedand tried to stop him doing this, but to no avail. I can't always save the laundry until he it out of the house! Any suggestions?

Lisalou Wed 13-Mar-19 21:21:46

Sounds like fun! In my house it is DH who actually does ninety percent of the washing, so I have no ideas for you, but I didnt want to read and run xx

muffinthemoo Wed 13-Mar-19 21:25:05

Advise him that due to these difficulties, you have realised that the way forward is for you each to deal with only your own laundry.

Then stick to it. Perhaps you might like to take ownership of towels and bedlinen as these affect you. Unless you don't share a bed, in which case let him handle his own linens.

The problems of creased washing and damp smelly clothes from drawers will be confined 100% to him. I imagine this will give him reason to pause and reflect. At any rate he will stop annoying the life out of you, so overall this is a win.

janeainsworth Wed 13-Mar-19 21:27:46

If he bakes in creases by putting things in the airing cupboard, make him iron them. Then point out how much easier the itoning would have been if the things had been hung up somewhere, allowing the creases to drop out, rather than baking them in.
If he puts damp washing in the drawer, remove it, make him smell it and then put it in the machine again. If necessary, alert him to the extra costs of doing washing twice over.
If he wakes you up at 5.30am to tell you the machine has finished, grab the duvet off him as aggressively as possible, shouting ‘It’s (insert suitable expletive) 5.30am. I’m sleeping, not doing the laundry!’
Men generally respond to logic so you must be logical in your approach.

annep1 Wed 13-Mar-19 21:40:48

Has he always been like this quizzer?

Carolina55 Wed 13-Mar-19 21:43:00

Mine insists that all washing can go on same cycle so whites can’t be bleached and coloureds get put on same wash and everything comes out... dull!

lemongrove Wed 13-Mar-19 21:48:23

Quizzer has he recently retired by any chance?
Sounds as if he needs to be in charge of something.
Suggest to him that he takes charge of something else...the garden, shopping etc.
My DH takes no interest at all in any aspect of laundry thank goodness.😁

Katyj Thu 14-Mar-19 06:55:00

Oh Quizzer my DH is the same.We've been married 40 years, he never did anything, washing, ironing, or cleaning, as I've only ever worked part time so took on the lot.Since he retired last year, I'm still working, he seemed to think, he'd be good at this task, goodness knows why. He likes to do it when I'm at work, so I can't nag ( his words ) about him doing it right.I'm so frustrated with him wearing half ironed shirts, they look awful .I have managed to persuade him to leave my things now.But he's eeven washing on rainy days, so the clothes can't go outside, I come home from work with laundry draped all over the house not even neatly to minimise creases. I think lemongrove my be right, they need to have something to take charge off. Just wish it wasn't the laundry.

RosieLeah Thu 14-Mar-19 07:08:24

Has he always been interested in laundry, or is it a new thing? If the latter, perhaps his mental faculties are declining. Obsessing about anything is a sign of things being not quite right.

harrigran Thu 14-Mar-19 08:39:13

DH does the laundry and makes a much better job of it than I ever did, only things I banned him from ironing were my pants and socks because he sometimes melted the elastic.
When DH washes he also irons straight away and has everything finished in one session.
Try telling your DH as he did the laundry you will put it away, maybe then you can do it your way.

Jalima1108 Thu 14-Mar-19 09:09:45

My DH takes no interest at all in any aspect of laundry thank goodness.
You must be good at ironing then lemongrove grin
My ironing is not up to the standards required so I let DH do it.

kittylester Thu 14-Mar-19 09:12:50

I think this behaviour sounds as though it could be early dementia - can you get him to the gp?

EllanVannin Thu 14-Mar-19 09:14:01

It's not normal.

DanniRae Thu 14-Mar-19 09:19:00

Happily my husband got so fed up waiting for me to do some ironing that he started doing his own. This suits me so much because I hate it.

Sorry no advice except to repeat what others have already said that if this is a new thing maybe he needs to visit the gp.

Jalima1108 Thu 14-Mar-19 09:23:46

I agree, it could be a good idea to persuade him to see the GP.

Or it could be, if he has recently retired, that he is bored. You could ask him to take over all the laundry or encourage him to find some hobbies which take him out of the house.

Alternatively, find yourself some hobbies which take you out of the house whilst he does the laundry; however, he will need a thorough training course first.

quizqueen Thu 14-Mar-19 10:18:31

I rarely iron anything! I am obsessed with things being properly dry though so clothes stay in the airing cupboard for ages. Towels and bed linen live in there permanently.

Jalima1108 Thu 14-Mar-19 10:20:10

I could not manage without my airing cupboard!

kwest Thu 14-Mar-19 10:21:22

It sounds as if he is trying to work out where he'fits' in the scheme of things.
What areas of domesticity would you like to hand over?
Have a chat with him and see if he would be prepared to relieve you of something you have done for many years but now need a break from.
He will then feel truly useful. You get rid of an area of chores. A win win situation.

DeeDum Thu 14-Mar-19 10:26:44

I can only offer sympathy mine since retiring does similar and if it cheers you up is perhaps worse than yours?
Plus he has now decided it's helpful to line up jobs for me!!
I get up in the morning to find our dogs chicken cooking or turned off left to float in the water, he puts washing on then leaves it, the same with the dryer, after his bath or shower he sprays the area with cleaning spray which does nothing unless it also has some elbow grease same either the cooker etc..
I'm sick of getting up to jobs lined up, as his up wondering about from about 5am and I totally realised how useless he is when he asked me how to do beans on toast!! Yet he tells people he loves cooking 😳🙄
Oh to be single again!!!

monkeebeat Thu 14-Mar-19 10:32:24

Oh!! Someone else with ‘my’ problem!
Exactly the same issues - focuses on ‘doing the washing’ without thought for drying weather, pegging out to keep shape of clothes eg jumpers baked creases from radiator drying, ironing etc
It is a race to who gets to the wash basket first!!
He used to say it was because he was running out of clothes but he did stop using that when we actually looked at the amount of clothes he has!
He has been made,well, aware when clothes have been shrunk, dyed etc and vows, in future, to leave the washing to me but...

We have a dishwasher and he now focuses more on that. He is good at that and I encourage - ( I zip my mouth when he washes everything in hot soapy water before he puts them in the machine!!!!!)
I have to balance my frustrations against enviromental needs!

Newatthis Thu 14-Mar-19 10:32:41

I agree with RosyLeah - the compulsive obsessive behaviour would flag up warning signs to me. Maybe a word in the doctors ear?

sarahellenwhitney Thu 14-Mar-19 10:38:38

janeainsworth Bang on with your comments and makes me realise what a gem of a man I was married to for over fifty years.

Jane43 Thu 14-Mar-19 10:43:00

My DH always leaves the laundry to me thankfully. He has certain jobs and sticks to them unless I ask him to help,with something. Thankfully it works.

I do think there is a psychological element to his behaviour which needs addressing. It may be linked to the need to be in control. If you haven’t done so already you need to talk it through with him.

Aepgirl Thu 14-Mar-19 10:43:03

I think your DH needs a hobby, as it sounds like he is bored. Does he have other interests, or clubs?

ReadyMeals Thu 14-Mar-19 10:47:59

My husband has mild OCD and it makes me laugh when I see he's stacked all the biscuits in the biscuit tin in order of size. He also tries to put away the washing up before it's properly dry. Fortunately he is able to drop certain urges if I explain to him why it's not a good idea.