Why today?

Thinking of you today, Beckett, hope you’re feeling a bit better

So sorry to hear this and I do hope you are feeling stronger now. It might not be appropriate for you, but churches are always open on Easter Day and sometimes have special lunches, festivals or community events you could perhaps join in with, even if you don't want to sign up to the faith behind it. All best wishes to you.

Life can be so hard sometimes. Hoping you’re feeling a little better today.?

First of all many thanks for all the wonderful responses and support. I am usually quite an optimistic person but yesterday the loneliness just hit me. I even did something I never do - I drank almost a whole bottle of wine (something that normally takes me about a week!)

Today is a much better day and I plan to do a few things around the house and then go for a walk in the local park.

Once again many thanks for your kind thoughts. GNs really are a lovely bunch

I lost my husband fifteen month's ago and it hasn't got any easier. I have two sons and they are around some of the time but they are busy doing their thing.

Meal times are difficult, eating on my own but it helps to read the newspaper or magazine while I eat. Special days are hard but try and get out into the park. Nature is so healing, especially at this time of the year. Enjoy the lovely sunshine and try and stay positive. x

Becket , as so many others have said, let me send you love and hope you will be feeling happier soon - though it is hard, especially when you think of others with family around them. I've been in a very similar place and now I am hoping that you will understand that what I am saying is hard won from my own experience - crying is and can be a huge relief and release of distress. But it can also, after a while, keep us stuck. So I learnt that it was best to cry and then do something active - go for a walk , even if you don't feel like it (and you probably don't ) Or do gardening, clear out a cupboard, paint a picture..... Something to change where you are emotionally. Listen to great music, read an inspiring book, or write down whatever arises , without stopping to check if you have written well or with good grammar, and not to read again, but just to get it out. Then move on. How we feel follows what we think, even if the thought is so fleeting that we don't really register it - and within reality we have lots of choices of where to focus. I once realised I had depression - I was living in a deeply painful situation - but suddenly saw that the depression was not the same thing as the pain, I decided to stop crying so much or so often, and to notice my thoughts, knowing I could check them for self pity (which dragged me down if I allowed it to happen) and genuinely choose more positive thoughts and actions. I hope some of this may be helpful - and maybe it would help, if you are often feeling low, to look for a counsellor. Talking to the right person can make a huge difference.

Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better today Beckett
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Beckett. I sympathise so much with you. I have been widowed for over 10 years now and still hate weekends and bank holidays especially.I do have one DD,SIL and 2 Gcs
nearby,but do not see them very often as they are both shift working nurses and constantly juggling work and school etc. I have been very lucky this Easter in being able to spend the weekend with good friends from 100 miles away who are staying a bit nearer at their daughter’s house. Otherwise I would also have been eating alone .Something I still hate after all the years on my own . I do ha e good friends locally and am fairly busy but nothing is the same. Do hope you will feel better soon.

So glad to hear you're feeling better....enjoy your day !

So sorry you ate having a sad day. Do you have a friend you can call? Could you organise a little treat for tomorrow, trip to hairdressers, walk through park and a coffee or when i feel sad a trip to seaside to paddle my feet in the sea. Hope you feel better soon.

I'm so sorry that you had a bad day yesterday and hope that your crying has helped to clear your emotions. Is there anything you can do to cheer yourself up, like go on a coach tour, or just a bus trip to a local town. That way you could get chatting with other people and maybe strike up a new friendship. I hope today is a much better day for you.

I get depressed and anxious moments too (more of us do than is realised I think) but I belong to the minority who have the opposite of autumn SAD, I actually get this worse when it's a bright spring or early summer day. After the solstice, when the days start getting shorted again it settles.

Hope you are feeling a bit better now & wallowing in all the lovely kind thoughts grandnet members have sent you. Sit in the sunshine with a good book & remeber that the bad feelings will pass x

My heart went out to you when I read this. Sending you love and hugs. xx

Oh sorry I should say I'm not hijacking the thread to talk about myself, just thinking when someone above said about it being a lovely sunny day and the OP wondering why she unexpectedly felt bad on that day of all days.

Sending love Beckett. x

I don’t think that was stupid
Sometimes we just need to be reminded how strong we are

When I was alone on bank holidays I went to help others and that way I spend time in company and was too busy to be sad. I was a hospital radio DJ for some years and one year helped for a few days at Crisis at Christmas. If you are well enough, many charities and voluntary organisations need support and operate over bank holidays. I had an absent husband quite often, Navy. I figured if I was not having a good time I could at least contribute to improve someone else's day.

So sorry you’re going through such a sad and difficult time. I agree that holidays can be particularly difficult to cope with alone. Can I suggest that you make a note on your calendar of future bank holidays and, if possible, arrange to spend some time with a friend or family member - meet for coffee/a walk. If that’s not possible, then plan something that you know you’ll particularly enjoy. That way, there isn’t a desert of emptiness in front of you. So pleased that you’re having a better day. It’s important to remember that those awful times pass.

I don't know where you live but look up Meet Up on the internet. It's a fab meeting point. They have all sorts of things going on. Going for coffee book clubs Going out for lunch/dinner. Loads of things.It's not a dating site but ya never know...

Sending you love Beckett. I understand as I was a young widow and have spent many days feeling alone. Most if the time it is manageable but then it hits me with a wallop! The upside is that I have found that after an awful "trip" there is thank goodness an upward spiral. Sometimes it is good to have a wallow-- you would have been a strange wife not to grieve--- then when you've finished hitch up your skirt and remember--Tomorrow is another day!

Becket glad you are feeling a bit better today

Everyone has said it all, Beckett but I couldn't pass by without sending you some .

I'm also having a real bad time. My health has been bad for over a year and not getting better. I live alone. My daughter has mental health problems and at the moment is psychotic again so I get phone calls and messages through the night and there really is nothing I can do to help her but I have to listen and it disturbs my sleep even though I'm feeling exhausted. I just want to sleep and if I don't wake up that's ok. I've had prob almost 40 years with my daughter like this, some times she is better than others.
Hopefully this will pass.

So sorry to hear your sadness. At times like Easter Day and Christmas Day when everywhere is mostly closed, it feels too quiet. The feelings that everyone else is probably meeting with family or friends probably make it worse. Maybe now is the right time to make some new beginnings for yourself. Most CItizens Advice have a list of local volunteering opportunities available in the area and there could be something that appeals to you, not only would you be helping a worthy cause, but you would get to know and meet new people who may become good friends. Another place to look is in the library, often list activities for all age groups on their notice boards. I don't think you are alone feeling as you do, there are some people with families who they don't see either for various reasons which can make them feel lonely and left out. I hope things begin to look brighter soon.x