Why today?

sending you lots of love. Things will look better in the morning,I promise.xx

@Beckett Same here - been on my own a lot and family just seem to put me on ignore If I don't get in contact with them they don't bother.
I stopped texting and calling so I am waiting for them to call me, never happens so F em all.

I choose this distance as I am not going to be pushed away anymore-

and @Eglantine21 yes exactly that - Some days I can take the world on and the next the flood gates

Happy Easter all

Hello Beckett

Fellow widow here, and another who goes to great lengths to fill up weekends and bank holidays - Easter being the most demanding.

Do you know about WAY Up? It's a website for people widowed over the age of 50, and there's a forum where you can chat anytime about anything. There is also a calendar of events of various kinds and even holidays to join.

I have learned to spread my net very wide, and belong to many organisations in order to meet my social needs.

Hugs from another in the same boat.

x

Although I still have my 86 year old husband at home I have spent the Easter weekend nursing a broken wrist.

If I am feeling blue at any time I find it does me good to go out for a walk even if I am by myself

Yesterday went to a craft event at a local garden centre which was enjoyable and had several people asking what I had done to my arm. Even going to the shops gives you an outlet to chat to someone

Hello Beckett, sorry you are feeling so down. I live alone too. Different circumstances, but still alone. Sometimes I wish I had a penfriend. If you would like one too, you are very welcome to pm me and we could start a friendship. If not, I hope you feel better soon. flowers

It is a new day and I hope a good nights sleep has helped you xxx

I think it is because it is so in your face. It seems that the world is full of families enjoying each other’s company and you are not included...there is no hiding that you are alone. It’s tough. My mum, a widow for decades, used to call them Blank Holidays.
No matter how much you understand it , it gets to you. Loss on a plate. It’s strange that we have this cultural religious event that is so death directed in the Spring that screams for life. It’s all a bit cathartic.
But we’ll all get through it somehow. Perhaps it is necessary?
Big hug.

PS I’ve lived alone for 22 years.

There's some lovely comments on this chat Beckett, nothing I can add except that when you are suddenly overwhelmed you can do nothing but let it run it's course . Our emotions are there to get us through life and you must have needed a day for yourself . To all the gransnet ladies (and gents), I get a lot of support from reading the posts, funny, sad, angry or reminisce. I'm glad I stumbled on gransnet as it helps me realise I'm not on my own, I'm not always unreasonable and life is to be enjoyed as much as I can whilst I can.
I hope you're feeling it's a better day Beckett

Would echo what a lot of people have said here - we often carry grief and loneliness, and stuff it down, keeping busy but it's when a gap opens up (such as being alone on a bank holiday) that it comes to the surface. Give yourself the opportunity to have a good cry and then think about something to treat yourself to. Even if you had a family, don't think it would automatically be different - you would still miss your husband and families can be so neglectful (as you will read on here). And maybe "head off" the next bank holiday by planning something to do. Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today.

From one widow to another, I am sending you my love. For me its coming up for three years and I don’t think the pain ever goes.
I do find a bit of comfort in nature I love gardening and I have a small balcony off my bedroom which have filled with flowering plants and I fitted bird boxes and a feeding station and I have blue tits jays and robins all over my balcony and even a little robin nesting in the box. watching them brings joy. It helps me to feel closer to my late husband who I like to think is out there in spirit.
As for the loneliness I joined a group called girlfriend social on line, which matches you with friends in your areas like a dating sight but just female friend and I have contacted with other widows in my area which is South East. I know it not a simple as having friends but it helped.

Weekends and holidays are always a bad time for widows not made easier by receiving cards wishing one a Happy time. With the aging population there are so many more of us.
Nowadays with women going out to work they have to spend their spare time catching up with chores and their families and many people don’t even know their next door neighbours.
When I was mobile I used to visit various elderly people in the village to chat or do errands for them daily. Now I have out lived them I am a prisoner in my own home, apart from shopping trip once a week on the Dial a bus. My home help only comes for a hour Monday to Friday and does not have much conversation.
I watch a lot of TV and listen to the radio and look forward to Gransnet every day.
So those of you who are mobile and able to get out do what I used to do, go and visit those who are housebound whilst you can.

I do feel for you what general area of the country do you live in I only ask because here in Shropshire there are many clubs and societies that specialise in simple friendship lunch clubs and the like so you don't need to be alone
Age UK for instance have day centres and if your thinking " cheeky sod" I'm not that old; they also have younger people helping out
I run the community bus here abouts and so many have friendship that have occurred, almost randomly from "the WI on wheels", speaking of which what about the WI or if your urban the TWG etc etc Hope you find some means of alleviating your sorrow soon best wishes JOW
www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/day-centres/

Most days I don’t think about my past sadness, but every now and again something creeps up and ‘bites me on the bum’ and I cry uncontrollably. A couple of hours later, after giving myself a good talking to, I’m OK again. I have just learnt to accept it, and move on. I’m with you all the way, Beckett. Hopefully there are more good days than bad.

All I can offer is sincere sympathy and hope that tomorrow will be so much better for you.

So glad you're feeling better Beckett.
I'm sorry to hear you are suffering jenni123 - and I think you're post about your own difficulties might have got missed in all the replies. My mum had mental health problems and I know how exhausting and difficult dealing with it can be.

It happens so easily. Sometimes no matter how much we think we cope there is a trigger which comes on and overwhelms us so suddenly it creeps up before we know it is there. That is what being a human is. Our emotions are what sets us apart from other forms of life. I too am widowed and live alone. Got a drawer full of tee shirts to show it.

Easter is a very sad time and at the same time full of joy. It is not surprising then, that we too have mixed emotions at this time. Christmas is different, in that it is a celebration and New Year, but Easter is a precious time with mixed emotions.

Your grief lessens but doesn't really leave you. Of course, a holiday when perhaps you see so many people with family and friends is a time when your grief can find the ideal avenue to knock you for six. Have a good cry, don't regret it or feel you shouldn't be doing that. Also, make sure you are not allowing a little but if depression to creep in. We are all human. Take care.

Xxx take care of yourself

I am so sorry. I hope you feel a bit better today.

So sorry to hear you are feeling low, I find some holidays difficult, I lost my eldest son in 2001, he was 30 years old and I miss him dreadfully.
I hope you are feeling better now

isnt there somebody you can call. you could call me .i'm on my own too. ok i have gc and daughter but they seem to live on another planet sometimes.why dont you treat yourself to lunch out.go to a park ,go for a walk...i know there are times when i get sad too.