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Why today?

(97 Posts)
Beckett Sun 21-Apr-19 16:27:08

I have been a widow for many years, no family, I thought I had gotten used to eating alone. Holidays are difficult but I have always been OK. Today as I was serving up my Easter lunch, I started to cry - have been crying all afternoon.

gillybob Sun 21-Apr-19 16:35:07

Oh I am so sorry to hear you have been upset today Beckett . Was Easter an extra special time for you and your late DH? Was there something that you always did together at this time? Or was it simply a case of you remembering good times that you have had together and what you may have been doing if he were still here . Perhaps you have just felt extra lonely lately ? Im sorry that I have no good advice for you but just wanted to send my best wishes and not read and run. flowers

nanaK54 Sun 21-Apr-19 16:39:26

Oh Beckett that's so sad, really wish I had some great words of wisdom I don't so all I can do is send you some kind thoughts flowers

Gonegirl Sun 21-Apr-19 16:42:33

Oh Beckett. That is so very sad. Is there no family you could contact? I do hope you feel better soon. flowers

Ohmother Sun 21-Apr-19 16:42:33

Sorry to hear you are upset about something •Beckett•. It’s such a lovely sunny day but occasions like Easter bring back memories for us; good or bad. It can also be a time of new beginnings though. What are you looking forward to this spring and summer? 💐

Eglantine21 Sun 21-Apr-19 16:57:05

I’m sorry it’s been a bad day.

Sometimes the emotional tsunami hits without warning.


Sara65 Sun 21-Apr-19 17:04:38

Feeling sorry for yourself sometimes is quite normal, as others have said, holidays of any kind are tricky when you’re alone.
Have a really good cry, and then think of all the good things in your life

Telly Sun 21-Apr-19 17:35:08

I guess that sometimes things just hit home and feelings are magnified at holiday times. I would suggest that you keep busy, perhaps do something nice for yourself tomorrow? Always good to have something to look forward to. XX

Badenkate Sun 21-Apr-19 17:35:32

Sometimes a good cry is the best thing for you - but now you need to think of a treat to cheer yourself up. I hope you find something good tomorrow. I'm so sorry today has been sad, but we are all thinking of you xx

janeainsworth Sun 21-Apr-19 17:38:40

Beckett I think that grief never goes away but is always there in the background. If you’ve been widowed for many years I think you grieve not only the person you’ve lost, but what you might have had with them during all the years that have passed.
I’m not a widow, but my Dad died when he was only 55 and sometimes the sadness of it all is quite overwhelming.
I do hope you are feeling better soon flowers

phoenix Sun 21-Apr-19 17:44:18

Beckett there is no rhyme or reason to it, I lost my youngest son in 2008, he was 19.

I still get the odd day when I feel as if grief will drown me, you just have to acknowledge it and hope that tomorrow will be better.

Sending love and flowers

Lily65 Sun 21-Apr-19 17:48:57

so very sorry you folk are going through these terrible times. Chin up oldies!

mumofmadboys Sun 21-Apr-19 17:58:26

Have you any plans for bank holiday Monday Beckett? Could you call a friend and suggest an outing? Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Gonegirl Sun 21-Apr-19 18:06:50

Easter Day can be a tricky one because everything out there has to close, even garden centres, which can make a nice little outing for us older ones. But perhaps tomorrow you could get out somewhere there are people about. Just being around others can sometimes help, even you don't actually talk to anyone.

dragonfly46 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:07:44

I am sorry to hear this Beckett. Maybe it was the feeling that you should be feeling good as the weather is good and the sun is out but for some reason you didn't.
I can relate to the feeling sad but not widowhood. I do hope you feel better tomorrow and feel better for telling us about it. flowers

rosecarmel Sun 21-Apr-19 18:11:14

It's cathartic to sit down and have a good cry - I think our bodies dictate how long it lasts, be it an hour or all afternoon - No rhyme or reason to it .. But I don't necessarily think this wellspring arises from a place of complete sadness but from a deep sense of gratitude, for things like having had the opportunity to share this life with someone we loved, and appreciation of the fact that we are still here to eat our meals .. It's truly an intimate portrait of what it means to be human ..

Lily65 Sun 21-Apr-19 18:11:33

sorry , that was such a stupid thing to say.

SisterAct Sun 21-Apr-19 20:20:33

Sending you all good wishes. I had what I call ‘a mega mum moment’ today Sometimes we just need to cry. rosecarmel your post is so true and made me shed a tear 😢and then 😊thank you

sodapop Sun 21-Apr-19 20:39:31

Grief hits us often when we least expect it Beckett sometimes we do just need to cry as
SisterAct says. A sad day today but hopefully a better one tomorrow.

dragonfly46 Sun 21-Apr-19 20:49:53

Hear hear Lily

rascal Sun 21-Apr-19 21:05:38

I'm so sorry you've been upset today Beckett. I totally understand. I'm on my own too. My dear husband died very suddenly twelve years ago. I think of him every day, talk to him too and even dream we are having a lovely day together as it used to be. But when I waken I realise its not to be, unfortunately he's no longer with me. Its just so terrible but I have to keep going, life goes on. The problem with Easter I feel is it is the springtime and everything is awakening and looking forward to life. But life to me now is not how it used to be. But we need to make the best of what time we have left. I always have the radio or TV on when I'm having a meal as its a distraction to take me away from the fact that life now is not how I expected it to be. I try to be positive, I hope you can be too. Best wishes flowers

nanny2507 Sun 21-Apr-19 21:32:19

beckett flowers

tinaf1 Sun 21-Apr-19 22:37:05

Beckett 💐

crazyH Sun 21-Apr-19 22:45:45

So, so sorry Beckett and the others who have been very low today; someone (sorry, can't remember who) here lost her 19 year old son.
Special days like this are the hardest. Tomorrow, I hope will be a better day for all. flowers

GrandmainOz Mon 22-Apr-19 00:04:51

beckettsending best wishes. Those waves of grief that hit all of a sudden are so very hard. You think you're going along ok, then suddenly it crashes into you, knocking you off your feet. Sending loving thoughts for an easier day tomorrow