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son splitting up

(57 Posts)
Harris27 Sun 19-May-19 09:17:48

I have three sons and this would be heartbreaking for me but you have a good relationship with your dil I'm sure she will want you still in your gs life. She's hurting now but will assess her future later and I'm sure you will be in it. Don't take sides but tell her you love her and want to still be part of your gs life. Good luck.

TN Sun 19-May-19 09:14:17

I agree with all of the above. Stay neutral - you don't know the detail. Support your DIL and remain friends as she will be the main conduit to your GS as well and of course don't be judgmental to your son. I am still friends with my eldest son's first fiancee. She was devastated when he broke the engagement off, but I am sure now he made the right decision.
Love is a great healer so continue to love and support them all.

love0c Sat 18-May-19 17:00:24

Really sorry for you. Hopefully you will feel better and more able to cope. It is hard emotionally as it is new and therefore very raw. You say you love your dil so I am sure she knows this and loves you too. She will therefore want to keep in touch with you and for you to see your grandson. She will not have any bitterness towards you. Support her and your son. Your son must have been unhappy for a while in this marriage. I can't believe your son took this decision lightly. Love them both and let them know this. I feel this is most important. Stay strong for them and positive. Good luck.

Telly Sat 18-May-19 16:51:58

Yes, you must stay impartial. At the end of the day he is your son and always will be, even if you don't agree with his actions. You will also need to maintain a good relationship with your DiL. Not easy but many of us walk this tightrope. There will be lots of difficulties along the way, especially while they sort things out but you will need to provide some stability for the sake of your GS if nothing else. Sad, but it happens all the time and they will all move on.

Nonnie Sat 18-May-19 16:46:21

We can't be inside someone's marriage. May I suggest you support them all. Sounds like you and DiL get on OK so try to keep it that way. No need to take sides at all.

FlexibleFriend Sat 18-May-19 16:45:58

It's hard but try to stay out of it, bite your tongue. It's good that he wants an amicable split that way your Dil is more likely to maintain contact. Just tell them both you're sorry and would like to stay in touch with your Dil and Gs as much as possible. Fingers crossed they remain civil and maintain contact.

whoisthis Sat 18-May-19 16:24:09

I am having a terrible time, cant stop thinking about my dear GS. DS has now decided that he does not love his wife and wants a amibicale spilt. I love my DIL and GS and can't bear to see her so unhappy. She will move back to her family home and I am afraid I will lose contact with my GS. I can't forgive my son for treating her this way.