Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Positive vibes needed ⚘

(41 Posts)
Deni1963 Mon 27-May-19 12:24:33

After a miscarriage in January ( her 2nd), one before my grandaughter ( now 3), my daughter had a positive test today. Of course elated for her and her partner, and of course scared it will happen again.
Kind thoughts and positive vibes all goes smoothly this time 😊

Slowcookervegan Sun 02-Jun-19 20:22:34

flowers good luck to all of you xx

Deni1963 Thu 30-May-19 10:52:04

Grannyactivist - deeply sorry for your niece - utterly heartbreaking and after so long. I so hope she gets the support she needs 😢

Deni1963 Thu 30-May-19 10:50:17

Paddyann - she took baby aspirin from 9 weeks after seeing a consultant haemotologist who due to my history and her 1st loss recommended it. We are waiting confirmation if she should take now.

Deni1963 Thu 30-May-19 10:48:38

Thank you all for being so lovely with positive messages - I will keep you all updated, I'm staying positive for her and will remain so, it's such early days and seems a long road. All crossed xx

DillytheGardener Tue 28-May-19 23:24:54

Along with everyone else, sending positive thoughts for a full term pregnancy, and a uneventful and safe birth to a happy bouncing baby!

paddyann Tue 28-May-19 20:55:28

her medical team will keep a close eye on her ,they know she's had problems and they'll want this pregnancy to go well.I had miscarriages but things have moved on in 35 years and they know so much more about what causes them .turned out a simple aspirin a day might have saved me from some of my losses.I only found that out after several .
I hope ehr pregnancy goes welll and she has a quick and safe delivery .Try not to dwell on what happened in the past look to the future and be positive about it

grannyactivist Tue 28-May-19 19:53:27

Deni1963 it can be a very worrying time, sending best wishes for a healthy, happy outcome.

I just learned an hour ago that my niece, who has been trying for a baby for nearly ten years has had a miscarriage - a baby that she told no-one she was expecting since she was afraid of this very outcome. sad

Legs55 Tue 28-May-19 19:52:07

I miscarried at about 12 weeks although I hadn't realised I was pregnant, periods had stopped but DF had died just before Christmas & I just put it down to shock as he was only 49 but we did know he had heart problems. DD was born 18 months after my miscarriage, healthy baby.

My heart goes out to you, sending positive vibes & keeping my fingers & toes crossed flowers

Grandmama Tue 28-May-19 19:42:40

Positive vibes here, rooting for your Aboutt 18 months after DD1 was born I had a very early miscarriage at probably about 8 weeks - didn't know I was pregnant. Pregnant again quite soon afterwards and 9 months later a very large and very healthy DD arrived.

Patticake123 Tue 28-May-19 16:37:17

Positive vibes to your daughter. My own daughter had a miscarriage in January 6 years ago and a beautiful daughter on Christmas Eve of the same year. That gorgeous girl is currently sitting next to me sending texts to her Mummy! Keep positive.

25Avalon Tue 28-May-19 15:35:10

This is similar to my daughter - miscarriage before gd now nearly 3 arrived, and then another miscarriage before expecting number 2. All a bit nervous to start with especially as dd was constantly sick before feeling better in week 20 and now positively blooming with baby boy due at end of July. My dd and sil did pay for a couple of extra scans just to make sure everything was going along okay so your dd may find it reassuring to do the same. I hope it all turns out well for you too. Best wishes

Hm999 Tue 28-May-19 14:12:57

⚘⚘⚘One each for you, DD and DGD. You know her anxiety must not be passed onto DGD (and baby), and yours must not be passed onto DD. All of us on here know that's very very difficult to keep going for 9 months. Good luck.

Saggi Tue 28-May-19 13:45:15

I had a daughter ....then two miscarriages following in the next two years.... they were very late miscarriages and of course upset at time. It 4 years after daughter born I carried my son to full term ( just).... people often say to me how I must wished those pregnancies had been viable. But I look at it like this....I only ever intended having two children ... so if either of those pregnancies had gone to term, I wouldn’t have my son. And I can no longer wish him away than fly to the moon !! It really is the only way I can look at it with the luxury of passing time. My son is with me because those two children couldn’t be.Im grateful every day.

pinkjj27 Tue 28-May-19 12:48:46

Deni1963 You are so due for some happier times. The fact you went through it and your daughters’ losses brought back so much pain must have been hell. Don’t rule out counselling, not a road I went down but I know others who have and found it very helpful.
I can’t offer any tips about the calls and text, except to say just hold on to those positive vibes and know that others are hopping and rooting for you.

Deni1963 Tue 28-May-19 12:34:48

Thank you so much for all your comments - pinkjj27 - I so understand. My daughters 1st loss was found at a 13 week dating scan in the same hospital I also suffered my 1st loss on dating scan. I had 4 losses after my two live born.
She fell pregnant quickly, but the stress of the 9 months was awful. The firat 12 weeks she was scanned weekly mainly due to the fact I gave a talk to all the sonograph's about how to deal with giving bad news. Every symptom or non symptom was stress, then movement, and her induced labour 2 weeks early ended in C section.
With the last loss it really wasn't expected, so knocked us all for six. It was very early, but of course recreates the stress. Yes I get the calls and texts and dread dread seeing messages in case it's bad news - it's very early days now, so I'm trying to build myself up and am always positive with her.
Many congrats to you - I'm so happy all ended well x

pinkjj27 Tue 28-May-19 12:12:26

I went through this with my daughter she has one daughter but had a miscarriage with the 2nd. She took her miscarriage very badly we all did. Then she found out she was expecting again. Joy, I thought but rather than being joyful she was anxious, depressed and distressed for the whole pregnancy.
It was very hard she would ring me every day (sometimes five six times a day) convinced her bay had gone. I had to keep reassuring her, calming her down, supporting her. Some days she would scream at me telling me not to give her false hope and she knew her baby had gone.
I could never express to you how hard it was. So emotionally draining. If she didn’t suffer sickness one day, she would be adamant the baby had gone. If the baby stopped moving for a moment, she went into panic mode. I was terrified every time the phone range. I was also terrified that her distressed state would bring on a miscarriage.
Then on the night she went into have her baby My SIL rang me to say there was a problem I didn’t sleep I cried and waited but he didn’t call. He assumed I had gone to bed!!!! ( I was pacing the walls)
The positive vibe in this story is that my beautiful grandson was born I year ago, he is a lovely, happy handful and a real nanny’s boy. I am sure he is all the more precious for what we went through My daughter suffers with anxiety and I do not know if it’s like this for everyone but I do know a miscarriage doesn’t have to mean the next pregnancy will go the same way. I hope it all works out for you as a family. Do let us know.

maryhoffman37 Tue 28-May-19 11:51:54

Sending the positivest vibes!

GandT Tue 28-May-19 10:47:39

Our DD has had exactly the same experience as yours but is now in her 27th week of pregnancy. Fingers and toes crossed for your DD and ours.

inishowen Tue 28-May-19 10:36:02

My daughter had five losses after her first child was born. It was sheer hell for her and us. Then she took time off work, learned to relax, and hey presto she got pregnant and it resulted in our gorgeous grandson, now two. Good luck to your daughter. I know how hard it can be.

BladeAnnie Tue 28-May-19 10:33:56

Sending you lots of love and positive vibes 😇

Nannyxthree Tue 28-May-19 10:21:17

All the best. She has a three year old so she knows she can do it and the child will keep her busy so there's less time available to worry.

Theoddbird Tue 28-May-19 10:09:56

Sending calming positive vibrations from the river. It is flowing so gently today. I am sure your daughter will be fine and will deliver a beautiful healthy son....

BlueSapphire Tue 28-May-19 08:32:49

Had two miscarriages (18 weeks and then 8 weeks) before I went on to have my two DCs, so can understand. Doctors kept saying it was very common, but that didn't help much at the time. Hope everything goes well.

Luckygirl Mon 27-May-19 20:01:55

Let us hope that all goes well this time. My DD went through similar and I know how hard it is to support them through this. xx

crazyH Mon 27-May-19 19:24:54

All the best for a positive outcome !!