I live overseas and up until now, whenever I return 'home' for visits, I've always stayed with my dad (mum's no longer with us). I've had a lot of lengthy stays with him, especially when my mum was ill a few years ago, and also since she passed away, I've spent a lot of time visiting him. I've certainly never shirked my daughter duties, and although I live overseas, I've always gone above and beyond the call of duty where my parents are concerned. As dad is getting older, he is very much set in his ways, and can be rather irritating at times!Lol If I'm staying with him on my own, I can just about grit my teeth and put up with his ways, as I do love him very much! Also, when I stay with dad, I seem to spend most of my time running errands, shopping, taking him to appointments, and cleaning/tidying the house from top to bottom (even though he has a cleaner!). This, I don't really mind as I feel I owe it to him for all the things he's done for me in the past. However, I'm not getting any younger myself and, consequently, I return home after the 'break' feeling exhausted.
When my husband comes (very rarely!), although he and dad generally get on OK together, things can get rather tense and stressful, as he doesn't have the patience that I do with my dad, and it doesn't make for a very relaxing/enjoyable visit. My husband has a very stressful job and works very long hours so, naturally, when we go away, he wants to relax and to be able to enjoy his time away. Which leads me to our next visit - husband will be coming as we have a family thing to attend, but he insists that we can't stay with dad this time, as he doesn't get chance to relax. I totally understand how he feels, but I really don't know how to tell my dad without hurting his feelings, or offending him, as I know he will automatically expect us to stay with him. Anyone out there able to offer me some advice on how to go about this tactfully, without upsetting dad?!